


Trias

by Kate_Shepard



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi, Non-Canon Relationship, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 15:16:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7806859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Shepard/pseuds/Kate_Shepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Garrus turns to General Victus for comfort on Menae, he sets into motion events that will change his relationships with both Victus and Shepard forever.</p><p>Fill for the prompt "Adrien/Garrus: Menae Bromance Relief" found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5312066</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Twinwriter95](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinwriter95/gifts).



Garrus, like everyone else on Menae, was slowly going mad. It had started when the Alliance had taken Shepard into custody for doing something she had to do in order to delay the Reapers and buy time for the galaxy to prepare. It had gotten worse when he'd realized that the "task force" he'd been given was little more than a token gesture from Primarch Fedorian to shut him up and appease his father. They hadn't been able to do enough and he'd known even as time had rushed by that it wouldn't be enough. 

Word had come that the Reapers had hit Kar'Shan and Earth. Arcturus Station was floating in pieces in space. Alliance HQ was a pile of smoking rubble and both the human Parliament and the Defense Committee were dead. Shepard had been held at Alliance HQ. So far, he had no word from her. He had nothing to hold onto but a snippet of what he was certain were the _Normandy_ 's thrusters as the ship escaped Earth. That didn't, however, mean that she was on board. She could be dead. She probably was dead. If she was anyone but Commander Shepard with her uncanny knack for surviving the impossible, he'd be sure she was dead. And then the Reapers had hit Taetrus and come to Palaven.

The bulk of the turian military had retreated from Palaven to Menae, one of the moons and the last remaining line of defense for his homeworld. Even he had not been prepared for the speed with which they had hit and no one had guessed they would have hit Taetrus first. Primarch Fedorian had personally apologized to Garrus and had made a rousing call to war that had served to do little but infuriate the citizenry. Fedorian had seemed hopeful in the beginning but as the death toll rose by the millions every day, hope began to fade and was replaced with a helpless fury that would burn out far more quickly than determination.

Garrus dragged himself into one of the open-air tents in the encampment where he was currently stationed and rolled onto his back to look up at the sky. The cot vibrated with the force of the strides of Reapers marching across his moon and they loomed large and imposing across the horizon. He tried to swallow his fear but thought he might choke on it instead. He looked past the planet hanging heavy over them and the blaze of orange that was once the city he'd called home. He could only hope that Dad and Solana had made it out. He'd had no word from them, either. A part of him was glad in a way that his mother had succumbed to Corpalis Syndrome while they were on the other side of the Omega 4 relay. She never had to see this destruction of everything she'd held dear.

He looked up at the stars and, though the turian belief system didn't allow for intercession from the spirits, he tried something he'd heard Shepard do when things got truly desperate and she didn't know how she was going to keep carrying the burdens placed upon her. He prayed. Like Shepard, he wasn't particularly religious but she'd shared a human statement with him about there not being atheists in foxholes and he thought perhaps that applied to certain turians as well. He didn't know who else to talk to as turians didn't have gods like many other species so he appealed instead to the spirits of his family, the spirit of the _Normandy_ , the spirit of his unit and of the galaxy itself, though he was fairly certain that Shepard herself was the embodiment of the latter.

"Spirits, if you're listening, please keep them safe," he whispered into the chaotic darkness. His words were drowned out by the rattle of gunfire and the roar of the Reapers seemed to mock his plea. "Bring her back to me. I don't think we can do this without her. I don't think _I_ can do this without her."

"You do know they don't actually intercede, right?" General Victus said from a dark corner of the tent.

Garrus shrugged and said, "Yeah. But if they're ever going to, I figure now's the time."

Victus sighed and Garrus heard his head fall back against the pillow. "I suppose you're right. It certainly can't hurt to try. Who were you praying for?"

"My dad. My sister. My...old CO," he said slowly. He wasn't sure that what he'd had with Shepard was real. It certainly felt real to him and he'd acknowledged long ago that he loved her more than life itself but he had no indication that she felt the same way about him. Humans weren't like turians. Humans could fall out of love. That was a concept with which he was entirely unfamiliar and didn't understand. He didn't know what could cause it to stop for them or if humans meant the same thing as turians when it came to love in the first place or if there was any way to prevent it. That was part of why he'd hesitated when she'd come to him. He'd known that if he allowed himself to be with her, his heart would be forever lost to her.

"You mean Commander Shepard," Victus said.

"Yeah," Garrus admitted. "She's...we need her. She's the only person in this galaxy who can do what she does. She could bring us all together and that's the only chance any of us have at surviving this. We either fight together or we die separately. She knows that and she can make it happen."

"You admire her," Victus said.

"I do," Garrus said. "She's the best leader I've ever seen. What about you? Who was the best you've seen or served under?" He wanted to redirect this from Shepard before his subvocals gave something away that he wasn't ready to reveal.

Victus hummed thoughtfully and Garrus felt the tone of reminiscence in the general's voice. "The best leader I have ever seen...General Septimus Oraka."

"Oraka?" Garrus asked with a disbelieving snort. "The drunk who spread lies about Sha'ira the Consort when she wouldn't retire for him?"

"The very same," Victus said solemnly. "He was not always a drunkard. I fought under him during the Relay 314 Incident. Everything I know about leadership, tactics, caring for my men comes from him. He was what I strive to be. And, Vakarian, you must keep in mind that there was _something_ there that drew the Consort. He was not a pathetic fool who fell into unrequited love with the greatest consort in the galaxy. She loved him as well. Given that she could have almost anyone that she wants, that she chose him is saying something. It simply was not enough for him to have her heart."

"I suppose you're right. The Consort wouldn't fall in love with someone based only on good sex," Garrus mused.

" _Great_ sex," Victus corrected emphatically. "But, yes, you are right. It was not just the outstanding sex that drew her."

"Wait a minute," Garrus said, rising onto an elbow. "How do you know that?"

"I have experienced it," Victus answered without shame.

"I, ah, didn't realize you, uh..." Garrus said uncomfortably.

"I'm not," Victus said. "I was young. He was a general. We were all under a lot of stress and there were no females in our unit. When he asked for my help in blowing off some steam, I gave it. He blew my mind. I'd never thought of another man like that before and I thought afterward that it was a sea change in my sexuality but no one else ever seemed right so I chalked it up to circumstance. Still, I can understand part of what drew Sha'ira to him. Come, now, Garrus. You mean to tell me you've never experimented outside of the norm?"

"I have," he said, thinking primarily of Shepard. There was that one time, though.... "His name was Sensat. He, ah, was one of my men on Omega. We got drunk one night. Wasted, really. It was...okay. We aren't exactly built for that the way some species are, you know. Mostly, it was just awkward and we tried to forget about it." 

"You just didn't have someone who knew what he was doing," Victus laughed.

"I think I'll stick with—with women," he said quickly. It was honest enough. Even now, all he saw was her.

"Sleep, Vakarian," Victus said warmly. "We have another comm tower to repair in a few hours."

___

They all needed something to take their mind off of the planet burning above them. It was a tall order but they understood the need for it. Stories were one of the favorite ways to both get to know each other as a squad and distract themselves from the destruction all around them so that they could steal a few hours of precious sleep in the midst of battle. It grated on Adrien Victus to take even that short time away from the field but he knew as well as anyone that an exhausted leader was a disastrous one. 

Being tired was one thing. They were all tired. But the exhaustion that pressed beneath the plates and writhed below his fringe twisted his thoughts and made his orders suspect. That was worse than not being there at all. So he relented to the demands of his body and trudged over to a free cot where he listened to his men talk about life before Reapers. Well, life before the Reapers invaded, anyway.

As usual when Vakarian was around, the topic had turned to Commander Shepard. He knew that the younger turian was worried about his former leader and friend. The Reapers had hit Earth and the spotty reports coming from the Alliance made what was happening on Palaven seem almost tame in comparison. Alliance HQ had been one of the first places hit when the Reapers reached Earth and the commander was being held there. 

Vakarian had found a second news vid, however, with a clip of the rear half of a frigate leaving the planet. The ship was instantly recognizable within the galaxy as it was the only one of its kind. The _Normandy_ had gotten off-world. Vakarian insisted that could only mean that Shepard was alive and on her way to somewhere important. Victus could hear the undertone of doubt in the advisor's tone, though, and he knew the uncertainty was hitting him hard. He refused to put that doubt into words, though, and instead regaled them with tales of her prowess and courage. It seemed that, for Shepard, impossible simply meant difficult rather than not doable. If anyone could survive the assault on the headquarters, it was her.

The more that Vakarian spoke of her, the more fascinated Victus became. She sounded more turian than human and her mindset seemed to be similar to his own. Not only did she not go by the book, she burned the thing and wrote her own with its ashes. She also had a tendency to piss people off and that was something of which Victus wholeheartedly approved...as long as the one doing it could back it up which, it had been made painfully clear, she could. 

Vakarian said, "And her response was, 'I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?'"

"Note to self," Corinthus said, "don't try to come between Shepard and her guns."

"It doesn't tend to end well," Vakarian agreed. "Purgatory was nothing compared to the Omega 4 relay, though. I didn't see everything she did because I was leading the second team but I heard enough through the comm and having Krios there was almost as good as a vid. That poor son of a bitch," he said with a trace of pity and a shake of his head.

"What happened to him?" Corinthus asked.

Vakarian said, "I don't know. He disappeared after she made us leave so she could turn herself in to the Alliance. He has a terminal illness so he may not even still be with us. Hell of a fighter, though, and a good man to have at your back. He, uh, had a thing for Shepard. I don't think she ever noticed."

"Who didn't?" another voice asked. Victus identified it as Orinix. 

Vakarian chuffed a laugh at that. "I think Grunt, Joker, and I were the only males on her crew who weren't trying to get with her. Hell, even Zaeed couldn't keep his eyes off of her." Victus noted the way that Vakarian still referred to himself as part of her crew. The commander certainly had a knack for inspiring loyalty.

"You're telling me that you would turn down Commander Shepard?" Corinthus asked doubtfully.

Vakarian sounded perturbed when he said, "I don't think any man in his right mind would turn her down."

Adrien was reaching out to restrain the younger turian before Orinix finished saying, "Hmm. Wonder how she'd feel about blowing off steam with someone not in her crew? Someone like that, you know she has a lot of stress built up." His tone made it clear that he didn't mean sparring. Vakarian snarled.

"Enough," Victus snapped. "Vakarian, calm down. Orinix, that kind of statement is considered insulting in human culture. Show some respect." He couldn't help but feel a bit hypocritical as the thought had flashed across his own mind. "What is this human commander like on a personal level, Vakarian? Her exploits speak for themselves but that gives little insight into the woman whom we all know will be tasked with leading this war." If she was alive. If not...Spirits help us.

Vakarian hummed thoughtfully and said, "She's tough, a brilliant tactician and a fierce soldier, calculating, ruthless even at times, but when you get past the commander and down to the woman herself she's very different. She has a wicked sense of humor and she's warm and compassionate and she really cares about her people. She's a lot like you with your men, General. She'd die for any one of us without a second thought. She makes tough calls as the commander and she doesn't hesitate to do it or complain about it even when she knows that those calls are going to be paid for by Shepard the person later. She gets the mission done no matter the cost. She's loyal almost to a fault and she can read people like no one else I've ever met. She doesn't see species. She sees the person and if Shepard doesn't trust you, then you're not worthy of it from anyone. If she does, though, it's complete and without question. Can't isn't in her vocabulary."

"She sounds like a remarkable woman," Victus said.

Vakarian nodded. "She's a force to be reckoned with. I can't explain it. You'd just have to meet her. She isn't just a human or a soldier or a leader or a legend. She's something...more...than all of us. If the galaxy itself has a spirit, she's the personification of it."

When Victus' eyes closed, rather than the blaze of orange that was Cipitrine or the Reapers stalking all around them or the abominations that they called marauders but used to be turian, he saw a human woman who was larger than life itself, a woman who'd captured the attention of the galaxy, a woman who personified not only the spirit but the hope of their salvation from the sentient machine ships. He saw Shepard.


	2. Chapter 2

Victus, of course, wasn’t the only one dreaming of the human commander and hoping that she was still alive. Garrus' mind went back to Omega more often than he liked to admit. Shepard had asked him once in a roundabout way if he’d gone there knowing that it was unlikely he’d ever leave the place alive. He hadn’t been able to answer her then but he knew now that she’d cut right to the heart of things as she usually did.

When she had died, his world had crumbled. He’d told himself that she was just a friend, just a mentor, just a commanding officer, and that was all she would ever be. He’d told himself that he didn’t have a fetish for humans and that he wasn’t a xenophile. He’d told himself that his father would never accept a human Spectre. He’d told himself a lot of things that had kept him from telling her how he truly felt. He’d stood by and watched while Kaidan and Liara had done what he hadn’t had the courage to do and felt justified in his inaction when she’d turned them both down. 

Then she’d died and all of the things he’d never said had haunted him. If he’d told her, maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to pursue Spectre training in an attempt to make himself both worthy of and more like her. Maybe he would have been there and she wouldn’t have died. If she’d had one other person with her when she’d gone to get Joker, someone could have grabbed her before she was knocked out into space. And, maybe, if he hadn’t been on Omega, his men wouldn’t have died, either.

When she’d died, he’d lost his purpose. He’d given in to his anger because his grief was something monstrous and too large for him to recognize, much less face. That anger and suppressed grief had led him to the Terminus Systems, had landed him in bed with another man, had pushed himself and his team to the breaking point, and had left him holed up alone and exhausted and guilt-stricken in an Omega shithole. And then she had appeared as if out of his dreams and pulled his ass out of the fire yet again. 

Still, he hadn’t told her. He’d buried himself in the search for Sidonis and pretended he hadn’t seen the hurt in her eyes when he’d rebuffed her time and time again with excuses about calibrations. It was only after dealing with Sidonis that the cowl had fallen off of his eyes and he’d truly allowed himself to accept that she was really there. He’d been lucky as hell that it hadn’t been too late and that she hadn’t given up on him for the much more available Thane.

He could still remember the night before the Omega 4 relay with crystalline clarity. He’d been so awkward and so convinced that he was going to screw that up like he’d screwed up everything else that it had only been her steadiness that had saved things. He still cringed when he thought of the look on her face when he’d turned on that awful music. He’d learned, later, but that night he’d been at such a loss. She’d meant so much to him for so long. She was his mentor, his teammate, his partner, his best friend, and he’d been terrified of losing her. Her soft hand on his mandible and the bare look of tenderness in her eyes had undone him. He’d fully acknowledged then that she wasn’t just a friend or a commanding officer or a mentor. She was the love of his life and he was lost without her.

He’d hated leaving her alone to face the Alliance but he’d known that she was right when she said that he needed to come home and prepare his people. He’d truly been fortunate that his father had listened to him and that he’d had enough pull with Primarch Fedorian to get even a token task force. As the Reapers marched past on the barren moon, he took a minute to hope that his efforts had at least bought his people some time. 

It didn’t change the fact that they’d received the reports that the building she’d been in had taken a direct hit when Earth was attacked. He was convinced that he’d seen the _Normandy_ taking off but, despite his insistence that she was aboard and that the ship wouldn’t have taken off without her, he knew that it was at least as likely that she’d been killed and Admiral Anderson or Kaidan or some other soldier had been given command. It was her ship, but she’d turned it over to the Alliance for their use and if she wasn’t there, they wouldn’t squander the resource over sentimentality.

The thought that she could even now be dead was a lead weight in his gullet. He fought despair but, with every day that passed without word of her, hope faded and madness increased. He was beginning to believe the worst and to accept that he would die here on this moon without ever seeing her face again. He could only hope that turian heaven was the same as human heaven and that they’d both make it there. Hell, even if she was alive, she might not want him anymore. They’d never declared themselves nor had they made any promises to each other. He prayed that she did but six months apart with no contact very well could have changed things for her. He didn’t have that luxury. He would love her until the day he died. 

“You’re going to make yourself sick, Vakarian,” Victus said from the cot beside him as the others who’d been there before filed out to take their shift, leaving the two of them relatively alone. “We are all under enough stress already. Worrying about your commander will not keep her safe nor will it benefit you.”

He could tell Victus. He didn’t know why he hadn’t already. The general would understand and he was respectful enough not to press for information Garrus was unwilling to give. So he said, “She isn’t just…she’s more than…”

“You love her,” Victus said matter-of-factly.

“Yes,” he admitted.

“Are you bonded?” he asked.

Garrus cleared his throat and said, “Humans don’t, ah, they’re not like us in that.”

“Are you monogamous?” Victus asked.

Garrus’ brow plates lowered as he wondered at the point of the question. Victus couldn’t be interested in Shepard. He’d never met the woman. Perhaps he was concerned that she was with someone else and had chosen him over Garrus. He shrugged and said, “It hasn’t come up.”

“Then you can relieve your stress without betrayal,” Victus said. “I don’t care who you find, whether it’s me or Nyxis or someone else. Just find someone before you end up doing something stupid and get yourself killed. You’re no good to her dead.”

“You?” Garrus asked. Was the general propositioning him? As he’d once explained to Shepard, it wasn’t uncommon for turian soldiers to blow off steam together, whether through sparring or sex. There was no stigma attached to casual flings and it was not uncommon even for bonded turians to participate in them with crewmates when their bondmate was not available unless they were explicitly defined as monogamous. While they tended to bond more commonly across genders, sex was different. It was seen as merely a physical activity between two people with no more intimacy or emotional involvement than sparring. 

If Shepard was turian, he probably wouldn’t hesitate to take Victus up on his offer even though he wasn’t particularly interested in men. She would understand. However, he knew that humans viewed things differently when it came to sex and he didn’t know if she would accept it. What if she’d assumed monogamy? He’d known enough humans who were married and yet had a relationship on the side to believe that monogamy wasn’t the norm but they were strange about it. They kept it quiet and if it was found out, the other partner tended to be unhappy about it. He wouldn’t lie to her and didn’t want her feeling as though he’d gone behind her back. On the other hand, Shepard was the most practical person he’d ever met and he thought that she would understand the need to get away from all of this even for a few minutes and there was no guarantee that she was not indulging herself as well. He didn’t expect her to remain celibate for months on end when he was unable to be there for her. 

“I am willing, yes,” Victus said. “You are not the only one who is under a great deal of stress. Corinthus is the only other one here with the appropriate rank and he is monogamously bonded. I would not ask him. Nyxis is the only female but she has been attempting to get your attention.”

“I don’t want Nyxis,” Garrus said. He didn’t want any woman but Shepard. He wasn’t attracted to males in general but wasn’t opposed, either, and he had to admit that Victus was not unattractive. When the general moved to his cot, Garrus pushed thoughts of his lover away and gave himself over to purely physical sensation. His doubts and fears melted away and the sounds of the battle raging around them dimmed as Victus removed his codpiece and ran a hand over his plates, coaxing him open inside his underarmor. This was different from what he’d done with Sensat and he had to admit that it felt good having another person’s warmth against him and another person’s hands on his own. He’d been lonely since she’d been gone.

Victus was already open and out when Garrus found him but when he tried to unfasten the rest of his armor, the general stopped him. “Not here. There are…other ways.” Garrus realized that he was right. The encampment was as safe at the moment as any place ever was but with Reaper forces able to drop from the sky, getting caught without one’s armor at the wrong time would be a death sentence. It was a testament to just how much strain he’d been carrying that he hadn’t thought about that himself. He hadn’t realized how much stress he was under until it lifted, at least temporarily, with the sensation of Victus’ mouth on the exposed hide of his throat and Victus’ hand inside of his armor. 

They stroked each other as their breathing sped and their heartrates increased but it was different from what he’d shared with Shepard. This was impersonal, lacking in intimacy, just two soldiers helping each other scratch an itch. That didn’t soften the force of his release or change the fact that he was finally able to fall into a deep and dreamless sleep once Victus returned to his own cot. His last thought before sliding into that restful darkness was that he hoped he had no reason to feel guilty.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Garrus wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. They had made their way back to one of the few real base camps left standing and were finally getting a night in a real—if still military—bed inside an actual building. That didn’t explain why, when he should have been sleeping, he was standing outside of Victus’ quarters like a child woken from a nightmare torn between fear of waking his parents and the need for comfort. 

He had no right to seek Adrien out like this. What they’d done before had allowed them both to sleep but as the days had gone by with no word of Shepard and further reports of death and destruction on both Earth and Palaven, he’d begun to lose even more of himself. He felt himself beginning to slip back into the Omega mindset, one that would allow him to lose himself on this moon, take unnecessary risks, face down Reapers on his own just so that he could get back to her. Shepard and Vakarian were a team. Without her, he was nothing. There was no Vakarian without Shepard. The only thing keeping him from fully going back to that place was the knowledge that the _Normandy_ was out there and she might be on it. The moment he found out she wasn’t…well…his place was at her six and the war was doomed without her anyway. Adrien was a placeholder that allowed him a shadow of what he wanted without the guilt of being with another woman if she was still alive.

The door slid open and Victus stepped out, his attention on the datapad in his hand. Garrus didn’t manage to step aside quickly enough and Victus walked right into him. Only then did the other man look up. “Vakarian,” he said, sounding surprised. “Is there something I can do for you?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Garrus said nervously. Now that he was here and looking at the man, a large part of him wanted Victus to turn him away. 

“I was having the same difficulty,” Victus admitted. “I was going to pace the hallways but company will likely work far better. Why don’t you come in?”

Garrus nodded shortly and stepped hesitantly into the general’s quarters. Victus only stood a tier ahead of him after Garrus’ promotion to expert advisor. He thought that currently placed Victus twelfth in the line of succession and Garrus wasn’t far behind him. It wasn’t something he wanted to think about. He had no desire to step into the primacy. He imagined Victus felt the same way. Their ranks were close enough that Victus’ quarters weren’t much different than his own, though the bed was slightly bigger. Garrus looked quickly away from it. He still wasn’t certain why he’d come. 

“You appear to be nervous, Vakarian,” Victus said. “There is no obligation here. You’re one of my men. If you just need to talk, that is perfectly acceptable. Have a seat. Relax.”

“Sorry,” Garrus said, sitting down and rubbing his face with his talons. “I don’t know what I want, General. I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

Victus’ hands came to rest on the tops of his shoulders inside of his cowl and began to rub firmly with his talons retracted. That was a particular skill of males. Females’ talons were shorter and fixed where males were longer, slimmer, and could be sheathed. Shepard liked to compare them to the claws of some Earth animal she called a big cat. She said the same thing about his subvocals. Most humans compared turians to birds and they were raptorial in many ways but she insisted they looked like cats and Grunt apparently agreed. Garrus had yet to look up what, exactly, a cat was. 

“What is on your mind, Garrus?” Victus asked.

“Cats,” he said inanely.

“What is a cat?” Victus asked.

“Some Earth animal,” he answered. “All I know is it has claws and it makes a noise that sounds similar to our subvocals to human ears.”

“So you’re thinking about Shepard,” Victus said evenly. 

“I’m always thinking about Shepard,” he admitted. “It’s driving me crazy not knowing if she’s alive or dead.”

Victus gave his shoulders a reassuring squeeze and said, “I just received word from Sparatus that the _Normandy_ is on its way to the Citadel. He doesn’t yet know who is aboard but it’s an envoy from Earth. I requested that he let me know if Shepard is there and suggested that he direct the humans to the war summit we are holding with the asari and salarians. You should know soon one way or the other.”

“Thank you,” Garrus said as anxiety coiled tighter in his gullet. He didn’t know if he wanted to know yet now that word was imminent. As long as he didn’t know, there was a chance she was still out there. If she was gone, then once the words were spoken, she would be truly dead. 

Victus’ thumbs went to the back of his neck alongside his spine ridge and Garrus sighed as he registered the comfort for what it was. When he felt Adrien’s teeth scrape lightly along the side of his neck, he tilted his head to allow the other man better access without hesitation. “Let me help,” the general said into his ear canal. “I can make you forget for at least a little while.”

“Okay,” Garrus said quietly. 

Victus gestured for him to stand and then began to remove his uniform tunic. No one but Shepard had ever undressed him and it was strange to have it done at the hands of a man but he felt his plates beginning to loosen all the same. When Victus’ talons scraped lightly over his waist, he let his head fall back as his plates opened and he everted in a rush. “Eager,” Victus said approvingly and began to stroke his cock. Garrus stood passively and accepted the other man’s touch. “Oh, no,” Victus hummed. “You aren’t going to get off that easily. This time, we are going to do it right.”

With that, Adrien moved behind him and pushed him forward until he was propped on his elbows facing the bed. Victus’ hands were confident as he dragged a finger along the crease of his ass. It was one of the few unplated areas of his body but where humans were soft, turians had thick, dense muscle. Easing in was not practical. Entry from behind required force to overcome physiology. Some men enjoyed it. Others did not. Garrus wasn’t certain where on the spectrum he would fall. He’d been the one on top with Sensat. 

“Relax,” Victus purred, replacing his finger with his wet cock. “I won’t begin until you are ready.” He reached around and began stroking Garrus again as his teeth scraped over Garrus’ collar. It had been years since he’d been with another turian, someone who instinctively knew where and how to touch to draw a reaction. He and Shepard had learned those things about each other and had made that part of the fun but being with someone with whom it was effortless was nice, too. 

He felt Victus line up with the entrance of his ass and tensed slightly until Adrien dragged his talons along Garrus’ waist and over his hips as he gave a forceful thrust. Garrus hissed in a breath as his cock throbbed in Victus’ other hand. “Spirits,” he groaned. 

“Are we good?” Victus asked.

“Yeah. I, ah, I think so,” Garrus gasped and Adrien pushed deeper into him. 

“It gets easier after entry,” Victus assured him. “Stay relaxed.” 

“I, ah, yes, sir,” Garrus said, groaning as he felt teeth scrape along the underside of his fringe. Heat and actual desire began to build in him and he experimentally rolled his hips, earning an approving rumble from the general as the movement took him deeper. 

“That’s it,” Victus praised. “Now let your body adjust and I promise you that this will be pleasurable.”

Garrus did as he was told and soon Victus was moving again, reaching places inside of him Garrus hadn’t even realized existed. He heard his subvocals begin to fray and felt himself rocking helplessly to meet the other man’s thrusts. The general’s teeth on the back of his neck was a warning to remain still and the only warning he got before the other man was slamming hard into his ass. Garrus bit down helplessly on the sheets his talons were currently ripping to shreds and he decided to figure out what to do about the damage after he could think again.

Victus pumped his cock in time with his thrusts and a part of Garrus wished that Shepard was below him now. He found himself imagining being caught between the two of them, her tight wet heat in place of Victus’ calloused palm, and his subvocals went haywire at the image. Victus pounded into him with more force, fucking him hard and fast, and his knees buckled as he shot his release all over the bed. Victus groaned and Garrus felt liquid heat bathe the inside of his ass as the general’s jaw tightened just short of breaking through the hide.

“Fuck,” Garrus panted into the bed when Victus pulled out of him. “That was…fuck.”

“I enjoyed it as well,” Victus said, sounding slightly breathless. “Thank you.”

Garrus straightened and began to pull his pants up. They’d caught on his spurs and he untangled them before drawing them over his hips. “I should, ah, go. Unless…I mean, do you want…I can always…”

“I would not be opposed if you are comfortable with it,” Victus said with undertones that were almost begging for the release. Garrus realized that Adrien needed to give up that control as much, if not more, than he had himself. 

“All right,” he said. “Give me a minute to catch my breath and reset.”

Adrien cursed himself inwardly for letting his subvocals slip through that clearly. He had all but begged Vakarian to take him! That was entirely unseemly for someone of his status and it was only the fact that Vakarian was almost his equal that made the slip at all forgivable. However, it did mean that he could not be certain whether Garrus was indulging him because of that need or because he actually desired him. He called himself eighteen different kinds of fool for the eager anticipation that filled him. 

Garrus’ hands on him were uncertain and Adrien could tell that he had little experience with this but he didn’t seem to be wishing that he could leave and that was gratifying. Adrien didn’t mind inexperience. Oraka had had to teach him as well. He wondered briefly what his old mentor would think about Adrien stepping into his shoes. Then Garrus’ hands were at his waist and on his spurs and Garrus’ hard cock was sliding against his ass and he stopped thinking about Septimus. 

Later, as Garrus was once again dressing to leave, Adrien said, “Garrus, I want you to know that I appreciate this. You are an exemplary soldier, a masterful advisor, and an excellent friend. You have both my respect and my admiration. The commander is a fortunate woman to have you by her side.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Garrus said. “Thank you…for being here for me through this. I’d have lost it by now if it weren’t for you. You’re a hell of a leader and a damn good friend.”

Victus rubbed the back of his neck and said, “Whatever we find out, just…try to stay alive.”

“Is that an order, sir?” Garrus asked with a cocky grin.

“If it needs to be,” Victus said.

"I'll do my best," Garrus said with a nod.


	4. Chapter 4

The few hours of restless sleep Adrien had gotten hadn't been enough. It had to be, though, because Menae was hanging by a rapidly fraying thread and, with it, Palaven. The damage reports were staggering, numbering not in the thousands or even hundreds of thousands but millions every day and it was only getting worse as their infrastructure fell. The Reapers were brilliant, brutal, and unquestioningly familiar with the turians' fighting style while the turians, on the other hand, knew very little about their enemy and even less of how to stop them.

He forced himself to ignore the fire in his muscles, the knives in his lungs as he dragged in great gasping breaths that simply weren't sufficient to overcome the extremes to which he was forcing himself, the pain in his body as his shields flickered and fell and his armor tried and failed to disperse the impact of a bullet from a thing that might have once been his teacher or neighbor or brother or wife. _Don't think about it, Adrien. Don't think about her_ , he ordered himself as he blasted it in the head with his assault rifle and told himself it was a mercy. Of course, that was now all he could think about.

His marriage to Aurelia had been a political one arranged by their families when they were still children. They'd grown up together knowing that they would one day be expected to marry. It had been just another fact of life and one they hadn't protested even though Aurelia had been in love with Castis Vakarian since they'd been young. Unfortunately, her clan hadn't been ranked highly enough for a match with the Vakarians while it had been for Victus. The absolute irony of that was that the Victus clan had only risen in rank while the Vakarians had remained stable and his wife had come to outrank the man she once hadn't been high enough to marry. Fortunately, their system was such that, as long as their duty was fulfilled and all involved were in agreement, it didn't particularly matter who married who as much as it did who bonded with who. 

Adrien had loved Aurelia in that she was his best friend and mother of his child but it had been duty and friendship rather than passion and love that had brought Tarquin into the world. Aurelia had been bonded to Castis—Garrus Vakarian's father—who'd been married to Lavinia Vakarian who'd been bonded to Primarch Fedorian whose wife was Councilor Sparatus' bondmate while Sparatus' wife was bonded to Venari Pallin. On and on it went. Adrien's true love, on the other hand, had always been the military. He'd had discreet relationships on the side with Aurelia's approval but no one had been able to hold his attention the way the army had. 

Aurelia had been in Cipitrine visiting Castis and Solana when the attack had come. Despite the elder Vakarian's best efforts, she had fallen to the Reapers when she, Castis, and Solana had begun coordinating the evacuation. Garrus had lost contact with his father and sister after that. So many had been lost. Aurelia was gone. Lavinia had succumbed to Corpalis Syndrome shortly before the invasion. Venari had been killed on the Citadel two years ago and now a human was in charge of C-Sec. Castis and Solana might be gone. All he had left were his squad and Tarquin and, he realized, he wouldn't likely have them for long if he didn't find a way to get that Reaper off their asses.

"Vakarian!" he shouted into the comm as he threw a grenade at a group of creatures that had once been human. "Get that thing the hell off my men!" 

"Understood, sir," Vakarian replied, darting past the burning remains of the small ship he'd been using for cover. Victus admired his wherewithal. There was no question as to how he, one man, was supposed to get a damn Reaper off of a squad that couldn't hold it back. He simply moved to do it. Adrien was confident he would succeed and returned his attention to the hulking brute. He began sending heavy artillery down range and hoping he could drop the deceptively fast creature before it reached him and pounded him into the dirt.

Moments later, the brute skidded to a stop mere inches from his boot and he took a moment to calm his racing heart before leaping over the creature to move forward. He had to reach the camp. It had been too long since he'd gotten word from command and his men were stretched too thin. He had to come up with a new plan of attack and, he admitted, his reserves were running empty. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd gotten a full night’s sleep or when he'd eaten his last meal even if it was just nutrigel. 

His squad, minus Vakarian, rejoined him. He couldn't afford to wonder where the hell the brash young turian went but his men assured him Garrus was still alive. His relief was far too potent to be wise. He’d been unable to turn Garrus away last night when he’d come to him despite his promises to himself that he would. It had been…different this time. It was still rough, still passionate, but it was also more intimate than it had been before. Garrus had taken longer to leave his cot and Adrien had gotten the impression that he would have stayed there for the entire sleep shift had others not been coming in to take to their own beds. 

Time lost all meaning as the squad fought their way into the camp. He heard a collective round of relieved sighs and exhausted groans as they cleared the barriers. He ordered, "All of you, get chow and hit the rack for an hour." Unfortunately, it was all he could give them and he hoped it would be enough time to allow him to come up with a new idea. 

He strode into the command center of the camp with more vigor than he felt. Above him, Palaven glowed blue and orange against the night sky. Menae wasn't full tonight but, fortunately, was receiving enough light from their star to make it easy to see. He wasn't looking forward to the time when it waned and they were left to fight for a cycle in total darkness. Adrien pushed that thought aside for another time and consulted the holographic map on the table as Theros updated him with what intel they had. The comm tower was down again so it was pitifully little. 

He'd just begun to germinate an idea when the Reapers dropped forces inside the camp. His men woke and reacted instantly, their training pushing past their exhaustion, and he set himself up with Theros within the command center in the hopes of holding off the brutes and marauders that were attempting to overrun them. He heard his own men fighting to the west and, to the south, more gunfire and explosions joined in. He spared a glance at Theros who looked just as confused and relieved as he. There was no one they knew of close enough to provide backup but, apparently, someone had been. They certainly needed it. 

The unidentified unit drew closer as evidenced by the increased volume of the weapons as they fired. He identified the sound of a Mantis sniper rifle and his guess that Vakarian had returned was confirmed by the familiar call of, "Scratched one!" 

There was a shot and the brute charging his location dropped. He looked around but couldn't see the source. It had to have been a sniper but the Mantis didn't have that kind of stopping power. The only sniper rifle he knew of that did was the Widow but none of the turians that he knew carried one. A single-tonal female voice called out, "I've still got it!" and Adrien hesitated only a moment in surprise before taking down a marauder that had Theros in his—its—sights. There was only one human female sniper in the galaxy that could have made that shot and who would have any reason to be on Menae. Commander Shepard had come for Vakarian. 

His surprise turned to shock when the trio consisting of Vakarian and a human male and female cleared the last of the enemies and walked toward him. He went out to meet them and spared only a glance at his friend and temporary lover and the human male who hung back. His attention was riveted on the female. He'd seen vids and holos of her and he recognized her even before she introduced herself. However, he hadn't expected the galaxy's hope to be so...tiny. She was small even by human standards but he instantly understood what Vakarian had meant when he'd said Adrien would have to meet her to get it. The force of her personality made her seem larger than life. 

His shock turned to outright disbelief as they solemnly informed him that Fedorian was dead and that he was the new Primarch. It couldn't be possible. It shouldn't be possible. He felt a moment of wonder that he, Adrien Victus, was now Primarch of all of Palaven before reality set in as he took in the sight of his homeworld burning while Reapers marched past on his moon. He wasn't qualified for this. He wasn't a politician; he was a soldier. He didn't know anything about fighting Reapers. It should be Garrus. The younger Vakarian hadn't risen as high in the meritocracy as he and Castis had due to his lack of time actually spent on Palaven and his unmarried status but his position as advisor had raised him high enough and he was the only turian to have actively fought against the enemy for more than a week. Vakarian had been the one assigned the task force and who'd given them what little chance they had. Victus wasn't the right man for this job. 

Shepard swept aside his reservations, pointing out that war was his résumé, and informed him in no uncertain terms that he was needed off the moon. He resisted this even more than he did the promotion. He didn't want to leave his men. In the end, while he may not have been a very good turian, he was still a turian and the needs of the many outweighed that of the few. If his presence was required at a summit that could save the galaxy, then he had no choice. He told himself that his reluctance had nothing to do with dreading the idea of seeing Garrus and Shepard together again.

Shepard's voice rang with passion and conviction as she gestured up at the destruction of Palaven and demanded his fleet's assistance for Earth. He considered this as he bid goodbye to his men and wondered if he would ever see them again. Their hold on Menae and Palaven was tenuous at best. If he diverted troops for Earth, then Palaven would fall. However, she was correct about their need to work together. Every species for themselves would only guarantee their annihilation. That was clear enough simply by looking around. If he could get reinforcements from a race that wasn't currently under siege, then he could spare troops and a portion of the fleet to help her retake Earth. 

The turians and humans had the strongest military forces in the galaxy. He was certain that was why they'd been hit first and hit hardest. If the Reapers managed to wipe one out and keep the other locked in on their homeworld then the rest of the galaxy would fall and, he was certain, it would be one of the shortest wars in history. They could not afford to allow that to happen. Humans and turians were still somewhat at odds after the Relay 314 Incident, a war in which he himself had fought, but it was time to put the past aside and work together. That was their only hope. If the two species who'd so recently been bitter enemies could work together for the sake of the galaxy, then they could do so with another race as well. He knew from Vakarian's stories that the krogan leader looked upon Shepard as almost family. If she could broker a treaty at this war summit then, perhaps, they would stand a chance.

He explained what he needed and Vakarian said to her, "Looks like your summit just got a lot more interesting." She looked like she'd almost expected a complication of this magnitude and, given her history, Adrien guessed that she just might have. 

The change in Vakarian was astounding. His fellow soldier was always brash, always confident, always as quick of tongue as he was on his feet but there was something extra there now. His walk had taken on something close to a swagger. His humor was back in force. The almost mournful undertone in his voice was replaced by something akin to joy and certainly relief. Seeing them together it was painfully clear that Vakarian was not whole without Shepard. He wondered if the same could be said for the human. Unlike Vakarian, Victus had no other point of reference for her. He had never seen her without Garrus slightly behind and to her right. 

When they’d come through the wall of husks and brutes and marauders, he’d seen the way they moved. The human male whose name he had not caught was constantly looking to her for direction which she automatically gave. By contrast, she and Vakarian moved together like a unit. Even after months apart, they had fallen into a rhythm that made their battle look like a well-choreographed dance. Neither looked at the other. They didn’t need to. They knew instinctively where the other was. Shepard gave no instruction. Vakarian anticipated her and knew exactly where she wanted him. They divided their targets without discussion and the Reaper forces fell under the joint onslaught. 

It was more than two soldiers who’d fought together before. This was two people who knew each other better than they knew themselves. This was the kind of trust that came from walking into hell together and getting each other back out again. This was a connection that went beyond the physical plane. Shepard and Vakarian were a spirit all their own. Theirs was a bond unlike any he had ever experienced for himself or even seen in others. He realized that he didn’t need a point of reference to answer his question. There was no Shepard without Vakarian. She may have been the one who garnered attention, but it was the team that they formed that had made everything she’d done possible and he knew without having to ask that she would be the first to acknowledge that. He wasn’t the best at reading human facial expressions but there was no doubting the emotion that was there when she looked at the other turian. Adrien didn’t stand a chance with either of them.


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard looked at Wrex in disbelief. He wanted a cure for the damn genophage now? If they didn't end this war soon then it wouldn't matter whether the krogan were able to breed or not. Earth was burning. Palaven was burning. There were Reaper scouts on Tuchanka. There were a lot more pressing matters than the goddamn genophage to deal with right this minute. It had been in place for a millennium. It wouldn't make a difference to the krogan if it waited until the war was won or they'd at least begun to organize a real resistance but every day they wasted trying to cure a thousand-year-old problem was a day that tens of millions of humans and turians were actively dying. 

She wanted to strangle the salarian dalatrass but, at the same time, she had to admit that Wrex' behavior was proving the dried up old bat's point. If they were willing to hold the galaxy hostage against a cure, then how could they be trusted not to rise up and just take what they wanted? The smarter thing to do would be to offer their help with the contingent of a cure being made available within a certain time frame of the end of the war. She understood not wanting to commit his people when he didn't have a guarantee of being able to rebuild his population and she understood his lack of trust. Victus seemed straightforward but it was clear the salarians and asari would do their best to try to hold them off. However, all of that paled in the light of the daily death toll from this damn war. 

She had to admit she felt betrayed. Wrex had been there from the beginning. He'd seen Sovereign firsthand. He should have been willing to help. Liara and Garrus had done so without strings. Victus was asking only for what he absolutely had to have to keep the turians from being wiped out altogether. Wrex' people weren't in immediate danger but he knew the threat they faced. She supposed she should have expected it, though, after his reaction on Virmire. Wrex was obsessed. Perhaps it would have been better if she had just let Ash shoot him way back then. Maybe then the krogan would have a leader who was actually willing to fight.

Anger burned in the back of her throat as she bit out her agreement. He wouldn't budge. She felt dismay as the dalatrass withdrew the salarians' support. They needed the scientists to build the Crucible and figure out what it did. She sincerely hoped she wasn't moving pieces into place that would win her a few battles but lose the war. She didn't know what other options she had. Other races had scientists. They wouldn't be as good as the salarians but she knew without a doubt that if she lost the human and turian militaries then the rest of the galaxy would follow. She told herself that she was building a foundation rather than crushing her cornerstone and hoped like hell she was right. 

She appreciated Victus' support though it was no less than she expected. He was a soldier like her and knew the stakes involved. She was beginning to think that the turians were the only true allies she had. Sparatus, of all people, had helped her as much as he could while still doing what he must for his people. Victus had proven invaluable tactically and she wished she could keep him aboard for the entire war. Garrus had been by her side from the first. No other race had done as much for humanity and the galaxy than the turians in this nightmare.

She hadn't expected to find a kindred spirit in the turian Primarch but she had. They understood each other in a way that she'd thought only Garrus could and Garrus' understanding of her came from years of fighting by her side and being her best friend and confidante even before he’d become her lover. She and Victus had only known each other for a matter of days and yet they still seemed to recognize something in one another. As he pointed out, their situations were very similar. 

They found themselves commiserating together more often than not and he was always waiting in the war room when she finished her reports to the Council and the Alliance. Sometimes they spoke and sometimes they just stood together and stared at the command center. When he told her of his admiration for the Reapers' tactics but his feelings of helplessness in being forced to watch the destruction of his civilization from afar, she'd placed a hand on his arm in support as she could empathize given that she was doing the same thing. When she admitted her fears that Earth wouldn't be able to hold out for the time it took to cure the genophage, he'd reached up and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and she'd known he felt the same fear over Palaven.

Wrex resented her growing closeness with the turian Primarch and watched them closely and suspiciously but she didn't give a damn. As far as she was concerned, he'd lost the right to his opinion about her choice of allegiance when he'd put a price tag on his own that cost millions of her people's lives. The krogan could say what he wanted about loyalty and family and he could wax nostalgic about the good old Saren hunting days all he wanted. He was an ally because they needed his soldiers not because she viewed him as a friend. The Saren hunting days were long past and she was a different person now. Death, Collectors, Cerberus, the Omega 4 relay, Aratoht, lockup, and the Reaper invasion had all come between then and now and he hadn't been there. 

Garrus, Tali, and Liara had. Liara may not have physically been there for most of the intervening time but she was the reason Shepard was alive to fight and she'd risked her life to save her and had then changed her entire life to become the Shadow Broker so that she could help when the Reapers came. Her asari friend worked tirelessly and hadn't charged a single credit for any of the information obtained even though Liara herself had to pay her contacts. 

Garrus and Tali had followed her on what they'd all believed was a suicide mission and walked through hell by her side without question. She wasn't sure where her quarian friend was now but she was certain that, when she found her again, she would step up without hesitation and bring as many of her people as she could. Garrus, as always, had her six. She could count on one hand the number of missions she'd run without him since they'd met. Even when he'd been lost in grief and self-loathing, he hadn't hesitated to grab his rifle and fight beside her when she called for him. She couldn’t imagine doing any of this without Garrus.

Those were her friends. Wrex and Kaidan could go to hell as far as she was concerned. The thought of Kaidan made her seethe. She was glad he hadn't died. He was a capable soldier and they needed as many as they could get to fight this war. That didn't mean she wanted him on her ship or that she viewed him as a friend. She had once and he'd turned on her at the first opportunity. She gave her trust easily but, once lost, it was nigh on impossible to regain. Had Kaidan been willing to apologize for his doubts or even talk to her about it like a reasonable human being they might have had a chance. 

Instead, he'd acted like she wasn't even a real person anymore and implied that she was a traitor when she'd died and come back and risked her life to save humanity, spat on the Illusive Man, taken his ship, and returned to the Alliance and willingly gave herself over to be imprisoned for making a decision that had bought the galaxy six months that the Alliance had squandered. And, she might add, she wouldn't have gone to Aratoht in the first place if she hadn't done so as a favor to Hackett who'd hung her out to dry. Everything she had done, every decision she had made since Eden Prime had been with the goal of destroying the Reapers. That Kaidan could see all that she'd given up and risked and accomplished and still doubt her told her that he didn't truly know her at all and likely never had. He'd tried to place her on a pedestal and gotten pissed off when she'd jumped down and traded her halo for a sniper rifle.

"You seem tense, Commander," Victus said, coming to stand beside her, "and, while I appreciate your frustration with the krogan, I'm beginning to fear by your glower that you are seriously considering head butting him."

"I am," she admitted. 

"If this were a turian ship, I would suggest a sparring match," he said, "but I understand from Garrus that human ships do not have the same views on interpersonal interactions."

She looked at him consideringly and said, "Actually, I kicked Vega's ass down in the shuttle bay shortly before you came aboard. I figure that, given that the _Normandy_ is actually a combination of turian and human design and that Garrus has essentially been my acting XO for years, it doesn't make much sense to run it purely like an Alliance vessel." 

She didn't mind the idea of sparring with Victus. Garrus had explained to her long ago how turians handled stress and, while they had gone the more personal route, she had instituted a sparring policy aboard for the others that allowed it as long as any crew who were at odds did so under supervision. She knew that both she and Victus were under a considerable amount of stress and empathized with him. Only a few short weeks before, he'd been a general in a battlefield. Now he was forced into politics without the luxury that she had of leading missions. In addition, he'd left his homeworld and his squad to board an Alliance vessel with only one other member of his species. He had to be feeling a bit lost and out of place and, perhaps, homesick as well. If she could help him feel more at home, she was glad to do so. 

His mandibles flared slightly and he said, "Then you wouldn't take it as an insult or a challenge to your leadership if I requested a match with you. I would seek out Vakarian but he would likely be resistant given the difference in our rank. However, I will understand if you do not wish to participate."

She rolled her shoulders and gave her first real grin since they'd left Menae. "I've sparred with turians before. It took a while but I finally convinced Garrus to take me on. I'll warn you, though, I've taken down everyone who's tried and that includes our krogan over there."

Victus returned her grin and said confidently, "I am neither a centuries old, slow krogan nor a young, impressionable turian whom you've trained. Additionally, I have actually fought humans before."

"Who are you calling old and slow, turian?" Wrex growled.

"Wrex," she said, "don't you have samples to give Mordin?"


	6. Chapter 6

Victus accompanied her to the shuttle bay and Cortez and Vega helped her arrange the sparring mats in the center of the bay before leaning back against their respective terminals to watch the show. Victus changed from his formal clothing to underarmor. She'd eschewed her dress blues in favor of her fatigues so they quickly met in the center and began to circle each other. The elevator opened and she registered the arrival of Garrus, Wrex, and EDI's new mobile platform without removing her attention from Victus.

She knew from sparring with Garrus that her best plan of attack was to swiftly get in close, plant her blows, and get back out of range just as fast. Fortunately, she'd learned a lot from Thane and he'd been a considerable help in increasing her speed of attack. It had been necessary to learn in order to counter his rapid flurry of blows. She wasn't as good as the assassin but she'd managed to take him down...once. She also knew better than to assume that, since Victus had been a general, he was also a desk jockey who'd been returned to the field only when the Reapers had invaded as Anderson had. Turians didn't work that way. Their generals may have spent more time planning and coordinating attacks but they were still active fighters.

She almost laughed when he tried to intimidate her. Many humans, even those who were friends with turians, had an instinctive adrenal response to their more predatory aspects. She, however, had spent enough time around them both as friends and foes to read their posture and body language and her relationship with Garrus had only aided in her ability to understand them. She was under no illusions that he would go easy on her due to her smaller and softer frame but she also knew that he didn't intend to do real harm. Therefore, the baring of teeth and talons accompanied by a low growl and a shift into a fighting stance didn't faze her. It was a challenge and a test, not a threat. Human teeth had to work hard to break through a turian's skin but she bared hers in return.

He lunged and she used the opportunity to dart in and land a blow on his chin with her fist as her knee made contact with the side of his waist. He lashed out with his feet to take hers out from under her and she dodged it before spinning around and raking her boot down his spur. His eyes narrowed but there was a delighted sparkle in them as he realized that she did know how to fight a turian. She did, however, misjudge his reach and found herself in range of his talons. He sheathed them at the last possible moment as he didn't keep them blunted and she felt his fingers rake over her ribcage with enough force that, had his talons been out, she'd have been flayed open. 

She leapt back before darting back in again and landing a fist to his mandible. "Don't bother with talons on me unless you're planning on eviscerating or going for a major blood vessel," she said. "It'll just close back up. Heavy skin weave courtesy of Cerberus."

"And you give that information freely?" he asked as he punched her in the jaw.

She blocked his next blow but he caught her and slammed her against a crate. She used her feet to shove him away and said, "If you'd actually used them, you'd have seen it. Hiding it at that point is cheating."

He inclined his head and she went for a roundhouse kick to his keel. He caught her by the ankle and flipped her but she rolled out of his grasp and drove her elbow up into his midsection. She used his weight against him when he doubled over and flipped him to the ground. His feet lashed out again and she wasn't fast enough to avoid them. She went down beside him and he grabbed her before she could roll away. On her feet, her speed and flexibility matched her fairly evenly with the turians' extra height and weight. Once on the ground, though, that extra weight and reach gave him a solid advantage. She brought her arms up to break his hold but he anticipated it and simply moved his hands to her ribcage. 

Her fist made contact with his mandible hard enough that his teeth snapped together and a line of cobalt blood appeared. She gave a feral grin and used his momentary lapse to wrap her legs around his waist and buck her hips in an attempt to roll them. It worked but she noticed the flare of his mandibles and quick intake of breath. She knew she hadn't hurt him and Garrus had never had that reaction while sparring so it confused and distracted her long enough that he was able to grapple furiously with her and regain the superior position. She scraped her heel down the back of his leg behind his spur and leaned up to bite his collarbone as he had her wrists pinned. He growled and fisted a hand in her hair. The move was so unexpected from a turian that she was caught off guard and he was able to pull her head back and place his teeth on her throat. 

The knowledge and surprise of her loss was overshadowed by the sudden flare of desire that shot through her at the intimate position in which he had her and she only vaguely noticed Garrus directing the others into the elevator, leaving the three of them alone in the cargo bay. Victus' fist was still clenched in her hair and he'd used the other to pin both of her wrists to the mat over her head. His mouth was on her throat and her legs were still wrapped around his waist to give her access to his spurs. It was a position that, when combined with their activity, screamed rough sex. She managed to bite back a moan before it became more than a rumble in her throat but her body betrayed her with an almost imperceptible roll of her hips. He met her near-vocalization with a rumble of his own and drew a knee up to press into her. 

Victus drew back with a lazy grin and asked smugly, "Do you yield, Shepard?"

"Best two out of three," she answered, trying to ignore the messages her body was sending to her due to their intimate position. She told herself that it was just a physical response to being pinned down like this by someone who felt like Garrus. He was the only one she’d been with since being rebuilt and her new body had become hardwired to respond to him. Her mind knew this wasn’t Garrus but the rest of her apparently didn’t. She glanced over at her partner to find him leaning negligently against a crate and eyeing them consideringly. He caught her inquiring glance and gave her an almost imperceptible nod. He was okay with this. She knew he could smell her pheromones going haywire but, rather than being jealous, he was completely relaxed. She didn’t understand it.

Victus let her up and they squared off again. She was more prepared this time and crowed when she slammed him onto the ground and straddled him with her teeth locked onto his throat. His talons dug into her hips and he pushed her roughly away before assuming his fighting stance again. Shepard looked quickly at Garrus who, if anything, had grown even more intent on the two of them. She had the sudden thought that there was something more than what she understood going on here and considered taking a break to ask him what was up. However, she trusted that he would put a stop to it if there was a problem and returned her focus to the charging turian. 

Victus was more intense this round. He was faster, his hits harder, and he didn’t sheathe his talons on every stroke. She’d full-contact sparred with Garrus before, so the sharp slicing pain as her skin parted was nothing new, though she knew from experience that she was going to need a new set of fatigues. The slices in the fabric were clean and could be repaired but the blood wasn’t going to come out without more effort than she was willing to put in for a uniform that could be replaced. She responded with as much force as he as she became even more convinced that she was missing something. 

There had been one fight with Garrus in which she’d seen the look that was in the Primarch’s eyes now. It had come after her trip to Omega with Samara in which she’d taken Thane on a rare occasion when she’d left him behind. She hadn’t wanted to take him to the place where he’d suffered so much and had almost died and was worried about the prospect of the merc gangs putting things together and realizing that he was Archangel. She knew that they could take the mercenaries but she had wanted to get in, deal with Morinth, and get out. It had made sense strategically as well. They’d needed subtlety and Thane was the master of that. Garrus hadn’t seen it that way and when he’d found out she’d gone to an Ardat-Yakshi’s apartment alone, he’d been furious. It was the first time he’d ever truly challenged her and she’d suggested a spar to relieve the tension so that they could talk rationally. There had been a determination in him to take her down that hadn’t been there in their previous encounters. 

She saw that determination in Victus now. However, where she’d known Garrus well enough and had had the advantage of experience on him, Victus had been a soldier since she was an infant and had been fighting a war with humans while she’d been a toddler. He had experience, training, discipline, strength, and weight on him that she didn’t have. Her flexibility wasn’t enough to keep her out of his reach and when she hit the mat, she conceded the loss. She couldn’t beat him unless she was willing to kill him and this was a spar between colleagues rather than a fight to the death so killing him would have been overdoing it. She made him work to get his teeth on her throat but she knew even as she did that it was simple stubbornness rather than true fight. He succeeded and a growl ran through him that vibrated her chest. 

Garrus cleared his throat and made one of those low vocalizations that she knew meant that he was communicating with the other turian on a level that she didn’t understand. Victus released her instantly and leapt away. He held out a hand to help her up without looking at her and nodded once before turning and striding quickly to the elevator. Shepard watched him go in confusion and went to Garrus. “What was that all about?” she asked.

“It’s nothing,” he said. “Turian thing.”

“Huh. Seemed like something to me. Are you, um, okay with…that? I didn’t mean to…I guess my body is more used to you than I’d realized,” she said haltingly. She hadn’t thought she’d crossed a line from his earlier behavior but his reaction to this last round made her wonder if she’d missed something. It wasn’t often that she couldn’t read him but this was one of those occasions.

“It’s fine, Shepard,” he said. 

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I’d understand if you were pissed off. I wouldn’t act on it, of course. It took me by surprise. I haven’t…been with anyone since you and I… I mean, I haven’t been, you know, unfaithful or anything. It was just a physical reaction.”

“Oh, shit,” he said as his face suddenly fell. “You…we…damn it. Shepard, I think we need to talk.”

Her eyes widened as she registered his words and her gut twisted. He looked toward the elevator where the Primarch had just departed and back at her. He was nervous, she realized. She could see it in the flutter of his mandibles and the way he glanced at her and then just as quickly glanced away. She could hear it in the anxious hum from his second larynx, the one that wasn't entirely under voluntary control. She hadn't seen him like this since the night before the Omega 4 relay. She was suddenly fairly certain the cause of his nerves was currently in the lift heading toward the war room.

Shepard knew her mate. He'd been a constant presence by her side virtually since she'd met him and their unwilling separations had only brought them closer together. They'd faced unspeakable horrors together and been through more levels of hell than most people could imagine. She'd seen him in enough situations to know his moods and the entire gamut of his expressions. She knew him well enough that speech was largely unnecessary. This mood, however, held a nuance to it that she hadn't seen before but that she could still interpret. He felt guilty and he was afraid and that fear was, for the first time, directed at her.

She went to him without hesitation and cupped his mandible in her hand. His forehead dropped to hers automatically and he shuddered. "What's wrong?" she asked softly.

He shook his head and gestured toward the lift. “Not here.” She followed him up to the crew deck and into the main battery. When the door closed behind them, he closed his eyes tightly and his undertones were pleading when he said, "You know that I love you, right? You know that you're the only person I love, the only one I've ever loved, right?"

A sense of foreboding settled on her shoulders as she said, "I know, Garrus. What happened?"

"Something that shouldn't have," he said miserably. "Something I don't think you're going to understand or forgive. I tried to forget...tried to act like it didn't happen but now...I can't."

The weight on her shoulders morphed into a chill in her gut as his hands tightened on her arms. He still wasn't looking at her. "Talk to me, Garrus," she said gently. "Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together. We've been through too much and we have too far left to go to lose each other now."

The last vestiges of her confidence faded when he did something he'd never done before. He went to his knees and buried his face between her jaw and neck. She recognized the gesture from her research but had never expected to see it come from him. Submission, appeal, a cry for protection. Her arms went around his neck and she bit lightly on his fringe, signifying her acceptance of it. She hoped she'd done it right. The immediate response of his body told her she had. He all but slumped against her and the keel of his armor dug into her belly but she ignored it. Whatever he had to tell her was tormenting him. She hadn't seen him this broken since Omega.

He said bitterly, "It seems I'm a better turian than I thought. Back on Menae, after the Reapers hit, even I was unprepared for how fast they came and how quickly we fell. It seemed like nothing we'd done to prepare did anything more than buy us minutes' worth of time. You saw it. Being there...without you...not knowing if you were dead or alive...I was a wreck, Shepard. Everyone was looking to me and I was...lost. I'd thought I was holding it together, at least outwardly, but I wasn't and the Primarch...well, he saw it."

He paused and she waited for him to collect himself so that he could continue. She felt the fine tremors running through him as he brought his arms up around her waist. A high keening sound vibrated her throat and she felt her heart pounding against his armor. Her mind raced and she didn't know if she wanted him to continue. He was trying to explain to her the strain he'd been under and she knew how turians handled stress. Sparring wouldn't make him feel guilty. Sex, however, would. 

She thought of the easy camaraderie between Garrus and the Primarch, the way Victus was constantly on the comm with him when she came into the main battery and how many of those conversations had little to do with advising. She'd attributed it to both of them being happy to have one of their own on board and Victus naturally gravitating toward the only other turian around, one he'd fought beside at that, but now she was beginning to wonder. Was it deeper than that? Something a little closer to home, maybe? She'd never imagined Garrus to be bisexual but considering how nervous he got over certain things, that might not have been information he was ready to share yet. Had they decided to blow off steam together?

She knew that turians didn't have the same views on sex as humans did. When they were mated, it was slightly different but there generally was an explicit declaration of monogamy. Given that neither one of them had ever shown the least inclination to anyone but each other, she hadn't thought that was necessary in their relationship. She'd assumed it was a given. She was beginning to worry that might have been a mistake. 

It wasn't that she was opposed to the idea of bringing someone else into their bed if he wanted it. She considered herself open-minded and might have even fantasized about it on occasion though, admittedly, the third was generally a bit more...drell. She'd never considered acting on it and had never asked it of him. If Garrus brought it up, she would consider it. However, the thing about it that appealed to her was the idea of them doing it as they did everything else: together. There was a big difference between that and doing it in secret behind the other's back. 

She felt a flash of anger as she wondered how he would have felt if she'd blown off steam with Thane when she'd seen him at the hospital before she'd found Garrus. She, too, hadn't known if her mate was alive or dead and had just watched her own world fall as she was forced into retreat and tasked with the impossible. She'd been stressed, too. She knew Thane had feelings for her that went beyond friendship and he probably would have been willing to be there for her and allow her to lose herself in the comforting touch of someone who cared. The thought, however, had never even crossed her mind.

She pushed those feelings down, however, and said, "Go on."

His talons dug into her hips and his voice was so low and so colored with shame that she could barely hear him. "I could see Cipitrine burning and my people were dying by the millions and I was supposed to tell them how to stop it and...I needed you, Shepard. Then we got the reports about Earth."

He began to truly shake then and she knew that he was reliving the time when he'd thought she was lost. He'd known where she was being held and the reports had specifically mentioned Alliance HQ being hit. By the time the news got back to them that she'd gotten out, she'd been on her way to Menae. He'd told her that Sparatus had sent word that he'd seen her. Until then, he'd thought she was dead. 

She stroked his fringe comfortingly and changed her bite to a kiss as compassion replaced anger. She had seen firsthand how lost he was without her. The feeling was mutual. She'd been terrified when she'd seen Palaven burning and hadn't known that Garrus was on the moon. Liara's steadying presence had been the only thing that had kept her focused on the mission. "It's okay, honey. I'm here. Just tell me." 

"Victus outranks me," he said haltingly. "Even before he was made Primarch. So when he came to me and...I just...I couldn't tell him no. It was partially instinct and partially rank but it was also...I was so afraid for you, Shepard." 

"You slept with him," she said.


	7. Chapter 7

He didn't answer at first. His arms tightened around her until it was an effort to breathe and he shook almost violently. She bit his fringe again and locked her fingers around the ridge of plates over his spine, physically asserting her dominance over him. He relaxed incrementally and said, "I'm sorry, Shepard. It was—he was trying to keep me sane. I thought…I thought you didn’t want monogamy as you’d never asked for it. I thought you’d understand. But now I realize you had just taken it as a given and that means I’ve done something horrible. And now..."

"Now?" she prompted.

"He wants me," he said. "And refusal at this point is...he's the Primarch, Shepard. He's under so much stress he's going to make himself sick and I'm the only other turian here. He needs help. Telling him no would be...almost treason. But I can't lose you. I won't. I can't--I don't--Shepard." His voice was almost a wail when he said her name.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. How would this be handled if I were turian?" she asked, trying to hold her emotions in check. At least he was coming to her now that she was here. She understood why he hadn't told her before. They'd been apart for half a year and even once he knew she was alive, he hadn't been certain that she would still want him. Turians instinctively mated for life. They couldn't fall out of love. Humans could. He'd been trying to take things slowly for her in order to make sure that he was what she wanted. He didn't seem to understand yet that he was everything to her. He was what made all of the rest possible. 

She would deal with what had happened before later. He hadn't intentionally betrayed her and right now there were more pressing matters. She hated seeing him in this much pain. It reminded her too much of how he'd been after she'd found him on Omega. She never wanted to see that blank look in his eyes again. Her arms tightened around his neck and she nuzzled his head, telling him without words that she still loved him in spite of his revelation. She didn't know yet if it was okay but she knew that it would take more than that to come between them. The Reapers themselves hadn't kept them apart. Him seeking comfort in the arms of a friend whom he felt he couldn't turn down when he'd thought he'd lost her wouldn't be enough to do so, either.

"We haven’t declared monogamy, so if you were turian, he'd have asked you," Garrus said, seeming to gain a little bit of confidence from her assurance and her actions. "You'd be in the same position I am now. Even as a Spectre, he outranks you. He's ranked evenly with Sparatus and you answer to the Council. He isn't...males aren't his first choice. With me, it's a purely physical thing. With a female, especially one he respects and feels a kinship with, it might be more. Like with us. It's not...he can't and won't force it. Generally, it isn't a big deal. He wouldn't ask if he thought I was uninterested and unless I really didn't want to, I would say yes if he did because if he's under so much stress that he can't properly lead, everyone suffers. But even though he prefers females, you're human so he can't ask you even though..."

"Even though what?" she asked.

Garrus sighed and said, "He wants you, too. But you don't have the same cultural background so he can't ask."

"Do you want to be with him?" she asked.

He tensed again and said, "Spirits, no! I would never leave you for him! Shepard, you are...you're the love of my life. I think of losing you and it's worse than losing my team all over again. None of this matters without you. Please, Shepard." His undertones were begging her to understand, to forgive, to stay.

"I love you, Garrus," she said firmly. "That will never change. I'm not asking if you want to leave me for him. I'm asking if you want to...blow off steam with him."

"I don't need to anymore," he said, finally looking up at her. "I have you. This isn't about me. It's about him. It's not...I didn't...I can't say I disliked it at all but I don't need anyone but you."

She said slowly, "You can't say no without feeling like you're foregoing your duty but you can't say yes without feeling like you've betrayed me. He wants me, too, but can't ask because I'm not turian so he's come to you. So why don't we just fix this entire problem together?"

He tilted his head and said, "What do you mean?"

She stroked his fringe and said, "I don't mind the idea of us sharing someone we both agree on. What I don't like is being left out. I wouldn't do that to you, either. But if we did it together then no one feels betrayed, you don't have to feel guilty, I don't feel left out, and the Primarch gets some much-needed stress relief and can better do the job that both of us need him to do."

His brow plates furrowed as much as they could as he considered this. "You mean...hmm. Ah. Hmm. You would do that for me?"

"I'd walk through hell for you," she said. "I would die for you, Garrus Vakarian. We're a team, you and I. So let's do this together as a team."

The force of his exhale rocked them both as he stood and pressed his forehead firmly to hers. "Spirits, I love you. So...you aren't mad?"

She framed his face in her hands and said, "I'll admit I'm a little hurt but that's a purely emotional response. Logically, I can understand it. But, from this point on, unless we decide otherwise together, we're a monogamously bonded couple. Anyone else who gets in bed with us does so after we discuss it and come to an agreement and we participate in it together. And I'm afraid that means no other women for you. I'm not much of a voyeur and I just don't swing that way."

"I think you've ruined me for other women," he said with a ghost of a grin. "I have Commander Fucking Shepard in my bed. Who could possibly compare to that?"

"Are you okay with this?" she asked.

He nodded. "Definitely. Unlike you, I might have a small voyeuristic streak. And I can't honestly say that the thought of watching you and Victus together hasn't crossed my mind once I recognized his attraction. It's kind of a heady thing knowing that the Primarch of Palaven wants my, uh, girlfriend. And having you with him and then coming back to me, well, it's certainly an ego boost. Are you sure? You don't have to do this." 

She admitted, "I might have considered the idea of us tag-teaming someone in the past. As long as you're there, I could probably have fun with a--"

"If you say elcor," he cut in, "I will start peppering sex with things like, 'Lustfully,' and 'With increasing fervor.'"

She shuddered at his surprisingly accurate imitation and the image it created. "I was going to say krogan but that's even worse."

He said firmly, "Wrex is never getting in our bed. I don't care how much he likes our scars."

"Agreed," she said with a grin.

He sighed with relief and said, "How in the hell did a guy like me get lucky enough to end up with a girl like you?"

"It's the scars," she laughed and kissed him. 

If she were honest, the knowledge that the Primarch of Palaven wanted her was heady. She didn't generally go for casual encounters and she was entirely happy being with Garrus and would be more than content to be with him and no other for the rest of her life. However, she did like the idea of the two of them exploring with another together and the galaxy was going to hell in a handbasket so there might not be another opportunity. She certainly wouldn’t try it with a crewmember as that could go wrong in so many different ways but Victus wasn't a subordinate and wasn't a permanent member of her crew. Turians didn't place any particular emotional attachment on blowing off steam together without a commitment in place so there was little risk of it affecting their working relationship while they had one as long as she didn't let emotions get involved. She highly doubted that would happen given that her heart belonged to Garrus. Even if she did, she knew how to separate Shepard's feelings from the Commander's feelings and actions. If she didn't, she wouldn't be working with Wrex. She couldn't see a downside.

Garrus removed his armor before drawing her to him. His mouth returned to her neck as his hands slid under her shirt to clasp her waist. She explored him with her own hands, feeling the familiar pattern of the overlapping plates beneath the fabric. She trailed her lips along the side of his neck, appreciating the suede-like feel of his silvery skin as she did so, and he groaned and tilted his head for better access. She trailed a finger across his pronounced collarbone and splayed her hands over his plated chest. After a few moments, they began to slowly undress each other. 

He was beautiful in a predatory and completely alien way that was unlike anything she'd ever seen before him. His overlapping silver plates and sharp angles reminded her somewhat of the blood dragon armor she'd seen for sale on the Citadel. His keel wasn't as pronounced as she'd expected from the shape of his armor and his collarbone was almost delicate. His unplated skin was a dark, stormy gray. The cobalt colony markings on his face continued over his arms and chest and made him look like a living work of art in spite of the various scars marking his plates and skin. She always felt drab and plain by comparison but he seemed to find her just as fascinating as she did him. 

Within moments, he had her laid back against the control panel for the cannon, naked and calling his name as his teeth buried themselves in her shoulder, marking her as his.


	8. Chapter 8

Victus paced the war room, drawing a growl from Wrex that was somewhat less irritated than he would have expected, as he waited for Shepard's shuttle to return to the ship. He had a bad feeling about this mission, a deep itch beneath his plates that told him something was very, very wrong. He should have warned Shepard. He should have entrusted her with the information. Had he put his son, the commander, and Garrus in danger by not doing so? Spirits, he hoped not. Something had happened, though. They should have been back by now. 

He was about to request that the pilot patch him into the ground team's communications as he knew the man listened in on their missions when the human's voice sent ice water running through his veins. "Uh, Primarch, sir, the commander is requesting that you meet her down in the shuttle bay."

He struggled to maintain his composure at the unprecedented request as he went through the eternally slow biometric scanner and down in the even slower elevator. He told himself not to fidget. Shepard was alive. The mission could not have been a failure with her in charge. Tarquin was safe. There was no new crater in Tuchanka that would destroy the fragile peace they were building with the krogan. If all of that was true, though, why was she calling him to her? He should have warned her.

A single look at the faces of her crew confirmed to him that something had gone terribly wrong. Vakarian's subharmonics were filled with a strange mix of judgment and sensitivity and the asari wouldn't meet his eyes. Shepard's armor was covered in a mix of blue and red blood and she was limping as she came toward him and motioned with her head for the other humans in the bay to leave. Her mouth was set in what he thought was a grim line and there was something in her eyes that he didn't want to see. The smell of death and smoke clung to her and there was an undertone to it that was both terrifyingly familiar and unrecognizable. It came even more strongly from the shuttle but she placed an armored hand on his elbow to stop him.

"Primarch," she said formally. Her tone was soft, defeated, and horrifyingly sympathetic.

"No," he said, rejecting the words he knew would come. 

"I am so very sorry, Primarch," she said and he closed his eyes in anticipation of the blow. "Lieutenant Victus was killed in action."

Had they not been alone, had she been anyone else, he would have turned on his heel and gone in search of solitude. Instead, he allowed his knees to buckle and dropped to them in the spot where he'd pinned her only a few days before and gave voice to the keening wail that any turian would have recognized as a soul-deep cry of grief and responded to instinctively. 

She was not turian but she also was not a stranger to loss. Her hands went to the back of his neck and top of his fringe without hesitation. He leaned into her abdomen, heedless of her filthy armor, and shook in her arms. She curled herself protectively over him, shifting to put herself between him and the door in case anyone walked in, and held him as the images of his son's life flashed before his eyes and grief and guilt washed over him. A part of him registered that she was comforting him like a mate while he clung to her to keep himself from drowning in a sea of pain and regret.

This was his fault. There was no one to blame but himself. He had promoted his son without merit and hadn't given her sufficient information to properly prepare to rectify his mistake. He was responsible for all turian lives and yet the first major call he'd had to make he had killed his son and Shepard had had to salvage the mission. How could he possibly save his people if he couldn't save his child? He would never be able to live with this. _Forgive me, Aurelia._

Shepard said hesitantly, "I understand that the turian view on this may be different from humans', but if it's any consolation at all, he died with valor. Whatever his previous misjudgments may have been, he was a hero in the end."

"Where is he?" he asked, needing to see his son for a final time.

"In the shuttle," she said. "But, Adrien, you need to prepare yourself. There was...it was..."

"It's bad, isn't it?" he asked. 

"I'm afraid so," she said, brushing a hand over the top of his fringe again in a comforting gesture she must have learned from Garrus before stepping back and becoming the commander once more.

She led him to the shuttle where a sheet covered a turian-shaped figure. He didn't want to see it, but he needed to. She stood back and allowed him to draw the sheet down. The face that greeted him was damaged almost beyond recognition. Only the curve of his colony markings over his brow plates remained to tell him that yes, this was his son. The fringe was broken and his mandibles were shattered as was most of his face. The plates were burned and, lower, most of his armor was charred off and his chest was crushed. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

Her voice was matter-of-fact when she said, "Cerberus beat us to it. They armed the bomb. He bypassed the trigger while we held the enemy off, but they'd set a failsafe that set it to detonate. With only a minute on the timer, there wasn't time to disarm it. My team provided cover while he climbed onto the bomb to remove the firing mechanism. I'm not certain what exactly happened as Cerberus was giving us heavy resistance, but he had to access the power core from the side. The plate holding it was off-balance and shifted when he removed the first tube. I tried to get him to stop, but he looked at me and said, 'Victory at any cost,' and removed the second. The plate separated and took him down with it. The firing mechanism followed and exploded on impact. It was quick. If he was afraid, he didn't show it. When it was safe to do so, I went down and recovered the...the lieutenant." 

"Thank you for returning my son to me, Commander," he said, running a hand over the broken fringe. There was no blood anywhere that he could see and he wondered about that until he noticed a ball of crumpled fabric stuffed under one of the seats. It was covered in stiffly drying cobalt blood. He reached out and pulled it to him and recognized her uniform shirt. She'd made an effort to clean him up before Adrien saw him. The gesture touched him. 

She shifted and said, "We have stasis pods in the cargo hold. I've asked Garrus to bring one for him. I don't know how this works in turian culture, but take as much time as you need. Send word when you're ready and I'll come back down."

He didn't want her to leave. He didn't want to be alone with the body of his son, feeling the judgment of his wife's spirit hanging over him like a shroud. "Stay. Please."

"All right," she said. She remained at the door to the shuttle until he nodded and then asked Garrus to come down. He was accompanied by the beefy marine, but the human male withdrew as soon as the stasis pod was placed onto the floor. Garrus' subvocals were sympathetic and comforting as Adrien lifted Tarquin's body from the floor. His heart clenched as he remembered the first time he'd held his son and the way the tiny bundle had howled and gnashed his tiny teeth. He had been the first to hold him and was now the last as well. It was a cycle that no parent should ever have to complete.

He placed his body gently in the pod, remembering the first time he'd laid him in his mother's arms and the first time he'd laid him in his cradle. Garrus' voice joined his in reciting the traditional farewell to a brother-in-arms entreating the spirits to accept his and guard it well. Shepard remained silent as she was not familiar with the ritual, but when he moved to lower the lid of the pod and seal it, he heard her boots click sharply and turned to see her standing in a solemn salute which she held until the pod's seal hissed. 

Vakarian turned and picked up a folded cloth he'd placed on a console and handed it to Shepard. Her steps were measured as she approached the pod. Adrien watched as she reverently spread the banner of Palaven over the top of the casket, covering the Alliance logo. She saluted again and performed a tight about face before moving to join them. She said, "Garrus didn't think you would mind if we mixed cultures a little."

"I don't," he assured her, "but I would like to understand the significance."

She said, "Human tradition is to cover the fallen with the Alliance flag. It's only temporary but it still felt like...appropriating his body to have him in a pod labelled as Alliance. The turians' sacrifice needs to be recognized. And he...he died on my watch. I failed both him and you. I don't deserve to have him labeled as one of my own." With that, she turned and left the bay.

"She feels guilty," he realized aloud.

"Responsible," Vakarian corrected. "She thinks she should be able to anticipate Cerberus and takes it as a personal failure when she can't. And, I think, it's hit her harder because he was your son and she wasn't able to stop it. She wouldn't have told you, but she risked her life to go down and recover him. The area was unstable after the trigger detonated. She wouldn't let anyone else go down there but refused to leave him behind. She held his head in her lap the entire shuttle ride back."

"It wasn't her fault," Adrien said. "It was mine."

"She doesn't see it that way, sir. The way she sees it, once it became her mission, it became her responsibility."

Victus returned to the war room sometime later and was confronted by a furious krogan as Shepard came out of the comm room from yet another briefing with either her government or the Council or both. She defused the situation and he did what he could to show that he didn't hold her responsible. When he tried to walk away, she hesitantly cupped his mandible in her soft hand and said again, "I'm sorry."

The pilot announced that they were approaching the shuttle drop point for her next mission and her hand dropped. The glance she shot at Wrex told him that it had to do with the krogan's secret. He couldn't be in the war room with only Wrex for companionship, so he sought his quarters but paused and turned the other way instead. There was a lounge opposite his cabin and he'd seen a bottle of turian brandy the last time he'd been in there. He hoped the room was empty and that Vakarian wouldn't mind him dipping into his stash. He would replace it in any case, but right now he just needed a drink.

He was well on his way to drunk when he heard footsteps pounding across the deck and Shepard's voice ordering people out of her way. When he heard her shout for the doctor, he knew someone had been injured. Her frantic voice made him think that it was likely Garrus or perhaps the asari, but the tone was tinged with something that hit far too close to home. He slipped out of the lounge and saw her enter the medbay with a krogan between herself and Garrus. The krogan's head hung limply against his chest and the two of them were dragging him into the room. She and Vakarian maneuvered him onto a bed and through the windows he could see Shepard pacing with a look of distress on her face. There was blood matted in her hair and he thought she was injured but then realized it was streaked down the side of her face as well from where the krogan had leaned on her.

The asari cast a worried look toward the med bay before heading to her quarters and Adrien stopped her. "Who is that?" he asked.

"Urdnot Grunt," she answered. "Shepard's son."

He looked at her in confusion and wondered if he'd drunk more than he thought. "Her what?"

The asari smiled gently and said, "He's tank-bred. Shepard brought him out of the tank during her mission against the Collectors. He was fully grown physically and he had memories imprinted but, in many ways, he was still a child. She said he used to chew on the edges of his tank when he was frustrated and he begged her for a set of dinosaur action figures the first time she took him to a human shop on the Citadel. She essentially adopted and raised him, and when he came of age, she and Garrus stood as his krantt. He refers to her as his battlemaster with other krogan but calls her mother. He's as close to a child as she'll ever...as she has."

"What happened to him? Will he live?" Adrien asked. 

She wrung her hands and said, "I don't know. He's very badly wounded. There were rachni in a cave system. The Reapers enslaved their queen. Shepard released her and Grunt's squad was killed giving the queen time to escape. The rachni swarmed us. Grunt stayed behind to buy us time to get out. We thought he was dead, but he came back out covered in gore and barely able to move. We're taking him to the Citadel now. The ship doesn't have the facilities to treat the extent of his injuries." She paused and said, "I am sorry about your son. He was very brave."

"Thank you," he said and watched as Garrus clamped a hand on Shepard's shoulder and firmly steered her out of the med bay and over to the elevator. All he could think was that she'd worn both of their sons' blood on her body and heart today.


	9. Chapter 9

Shepard made Garrus promise to send word the moment Dr. Chakwas said anything about Grunt's condition for better or worse and allowed him to send her up to her cabin. He was right. It had been a stressful and demanding day and she needed rest. He offered to come with her, but with the Primarch temporarily out of commission and her away, they needed someone who could deal with the backlash of the mission on Tuchanka and Garrus knew Wrex, so she gave him the deck and went up on her own. She didn't think sleep would come easily, though. She felt like bugs were crawling over her skin and her heart was filled with worry over Grunt and sorrow for the Victus men. She had gotten only a taste of what the Primarch must be feeling when she'd watched her adopted son hurtle over the ledge with rachni swarming him. Her heart had ripped into pieces. 

She hadn't carried Grunt in her body, hadn't given birth to him or held him as a baby or watched him grow, but she had brought him into the world and taught and trained him, had instilled him with her values and discipline, had taught him to read and write, had stood by his side as he'd become an adult. He was her child in every way that mattered to her no matter how unorthodox his childhood had been. The joy of seeing him stumble from that cave had almost overwhelmed her before he'd collapsed and fear had returned.

She showered to get the slime and dirt and her son's blood from her body and hair before donning a clean shirt and shorts and using her omni-tool to dry her hair. She sat down on the bed and drew her violin case to her. Her eyes closed as she fitted the instrument under her chin and drew the bow across the strings. The piece she chose was dark and mournful. She was tired of watching people die and being helpless to save them. She was expected to save the galaxy and yet she hadn't been able to save the Primarch's son and if Grunt lived it wouldn't be because of anything she'd done. She hadn't even been the one to give him medigel. Garrus had done it. 

Wrex and Grunt had entrusted her with Arlakh Company and they died because of her call, a call that she'd made years ago and again today. Grunt might still die because of it and the hell of it was that she didn't know if it had been the right one then or now. Tarquin had died because she hadn't taken the time to think. If she had, she'd have suspected Cerberus would predict that they'd try to disarm the bomb and expected a failsafe. She could have warned him to watch for it. Instead, she'd allowed herself to get distracted by the Cerberus sniper when she knew damn well that Garrus could handle it and Tarquin had been forced to sacrifice his life to preserve the alliance.

It did no good to say that Victus should have trusted her. He didn't know that Wrex' demands had invalidated their friendship and that she wouldn't have gone directly to the krogan leader with the information. Whatever desire and camaraderie was between them didn't equate to trust. Had the situation been reversed, she might have kept her mouth shut, too. She couldn't even blame him for his misjudgment in putting his son in charge of such a delicate mission. Victus was brand new to his position and had yet to form a loyal group with which he could entrust something that potentially disastrous. He couldn’t even tell Garrus because he’d known Garrus would come to her. He'd chosen a guarantee of secrecy over experience. She was sure it hadn't been an easy call.

There was a knock on the door and she instructed EDI to open it. She looked up, expecting to see Garrus or Liara, and saw Adrien instead. He seemed unsure but came inside anyway. He said, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I simply thought that you might want a drink and that drinking together is preferable to drinking alone."

"Come on in," she invited, noting the pair of bottles and glasses he held. Garrus' brandy looked significantly emptier than it had a few days before when they'd shared a drink in the lounge. She didn't think he'd mind but made a note to pick up more on the Citadel.

She started to lower the violin but he said, "Please don't stop on my account. I admit I listened through the door for a moment. You're quite skilled."

She nodded and began playing something she'd learned for Garrus. It seemed appropriate in this moment and Adrien's eyes widened as he recognized "Die for the Cause." Turian instruments were very different from humans' and the anthem wasn't written to be played on anything resembling a violin, but Garrus had helped her convert it and had told her that due to its multitude of tones, the instrument added an emotional depth to it that turian instruments couldn't capture. She thought it sounded harsh and discordant, but if Adrien's expression was anything to go by, her mate was telling the truth about how it sounded to them. 

When she joined him on the couch, he poured a glass of something blue for her and she raised it and said heavily, "To victory...at any cost." 

"I stopped by the med bay before coming up," he told her after clinking the rim of his glass against hers and taking a sip. "The doctor had just finished what she could do here and asked me to tell you that he is critical but stable for the moment and resting under sedation and that you may see him in the morning."

"Thank you," she said.

"Our experiences continue to follow along similar paths," he said sadly. 

"Yeah," she agreed. "We should probably make a pact to try not to die before the war is over."

Morbid humor in times of horror was something that crossed the boundaries of species and he was a soldier before he was a politician. Thus, her comment drew a slight grin despite their shared grief and he said, "I will agree to that for the sake of the galaxy if nothing else. I—we couldn't afford to lose you, too."

"Again," she said wryly.

"So it is true," he said, leaning back. "I'd thought Vakarian was exaggerating on that one."

She shook her head. "My crew doesn't tend to exaggerate. They don't need to when the truth is stranger than fiction. You couldn't make the shit up that's happened to us. A Reaper fell on us. I died and was brought back to life. Garrus survived a rocket to the face after days spent wiping out the combined forces of the three major merc groups. And, no, he didn't exaggerate that, either. I saw it happen. We killed an Ardat-Yakshi. We raided a prison ship. I adopted a krogan tank baby. I've conversed with the rachni queen twice now. I've conversed with Reapers. I sent an asteroid through a mass relay and bought six wasted months with three hundred thousand batarian lives. I've gone toe-to-toe with the Council more times than I can count. We survived a trip through the Mu Relay to Ilos and back through the Conduit and through the Omega 4 relay and back."

"You supplanted the Shadow Broker," he added.

"How do you know that?" she asked sharply.

"Her VI said, 'Welcome back, Shadow Broker,' when she returned to her quarters earlier. Even for an asari, she's too young to be the original," he explained. "She was conspicuously absent through most of Garrus' stories about the Collector mission and yet she has played a central role in both the war now and in your mission against Saren. I doubt you would allow a friend to attempt a coup like that alone." 

"I'll be sure to let her know she needs to tell Glyph to be more cognizant of their surroundings when he calls her that," she muttered.

"Your secret is safe with me, Commander," he said. "I imagine it could be very hazardous to your safety should it become known that the Shadow Broker is aboard the _Normandy_."

Liara cut in over the comms in the Shadow Broker's voice and said, "No, Primarch, it would be hazardous to yours."

"So that's how you always end up waking me up when I have a nightmare," Shepard exclaimed. "Friends don't spy on friends, Liara!"

The demure "Sorry, Commander," said in the Shadow Broker's growling bass voice made her laugh and Adrien raised a brow plate. 

She explained, "Liara and I have mind melded more than once—not like that—so she knows everything about me anyway and she can keep a secret. EDI makes privacy on this ship more of an illusion anyway, so it doesn't really bother me but she doesn't need to know that."

"Yes, but an AI is--" he began.

"She's as much a friend and part of the crew as anyone else here," she said, unabashedly cutting him off. 

"Thank you, Commander," EDI said.

"See?" Shepard said with a crook of her lips. "She isn't quite as good at keeping secrets as Liara is but I've made it clear that anything that occurs in my cabin is kept off the record and not to be discussed with anyone without my prior consent."

"You are a fascinating woman, Commander," he said. "I was curious about how you received some of your scars. I hope that isn't too personal. I noted them the other day when you were changing out of your uniform and would like to think of something else for a while."

She understood. If he let himself dwell on Tarquin's death, it would eat him alive. He'd allowed himself time for mourning and now he had to focus elsewhere. There would be time for grief after the war if they survived it. So she said, "Which ones?"

His fingers traced a jagged line on her thigh below her shorts and she said lightly, "Thresher maw acid. A single concrete pillar isn't big enough to cover a turian, a human, and a krogan in full armor."

"Ah, yes, Garrus said you'd taken down a thresher maw on foot. I didn't quite believe that one, either," he said before moving on to another mark on her arm.

"A pair of YMIR mechs exploded right next to me," she said. "I caught shrapnel."

"That is an understatement," he said mildly as he pointed to the side of her waist where her shirt had ridden up. "And this?"

"Warped by an asari hopped up on red sand on Illium," she said and then gestured to her hip. "I have one there from my own gunship rocket after committing a heist with a professional thief."

"That would be Kasumi, correct?" he said and she nodded. 

He traced a burn on her bicep and she said simply, "Burning refinery on Zorya." She didn't want to talk about that one. She could still smell the burning flesh of the ones she hadn't had time to save. It had taken a long time for her and Zaeed to forgive each other. She'd been furious with him for starting the fire. He'd been livid at her insistence on saving the workers and allowing Vido to get away.

He nodded in understanding and said, "This looks almost like a turian bite but not quite."

"A varren on Tuchanka," she answered. He leaned over to trace a line on her neck with his tongue and she shivered and said, "A yahg. The old Shadow Broker, in fact." 

"A yahg?" he asked in disbelief.

She said, "Yep. He was massive. Knocked Garrus out cold and almost killed Liara and me."

"Vakarian didn't mention that one," he said and nipped at her shoulder. "Hmm. I thought you had a skin weave."

"I do," she said. "Wounds close up quickly but they still scar."

"I didn't mean to add to your collection," he said, referencing the marks he'd left on her during their spar.

"I don't mind," she told him. “I do, however, think that it’s time to bring Garrus in if this is going to continue.”

“Yes,” he said. “He told me about your deal. I appreciate that you’re willing to attempt it and I didn’t intend to cross a line with him. It was my understanding that you weren’t a closed unit. If I’d known otherwise, I wouldn’t have—”

“It’s okay,” she assured him. “Thank you for taking care of him when I wasn’t able to be there. EDI, is Garrus free?”

“He is on his way up, Shepard,” EDI said.

The door opened a moment later and Garrus strode in confidently. He eyed her consideringly and said, “You didn’t sleep.”

“I couldn’t," she said, leaning forward to kiss his neck as he sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. “The Primarch and I were just comparing scars.”

“They drive her wild,” Garrus told Victus lightly. “I’ve been tempted to go out and get more.” Shepard nudged him playfully with her shoulder and he nuzzled her hair and said quietly, “Go ahead.”

She turned to Victus and said, "I think it's your turn."

He stripped his shirt off and she splayed her hands over his chest. He was warm against her palms and the alcohol was beginning to make her blood sing. She gave in to temptation and traced the lines of his elegant colony markings with her fingertips. He hummed when she crossed his mandibles and again when she reached his forehead. She said, "You have the most beautiful colony tattoos. Nihlus' were similar and Sparatus' are almost exactly like them, too."

"We are all from Cipitrine," he explained. "Nihlus was technically an offworld colonist, but his father was from our clan, so he was allowed to take our markings."

"I thought your family was from Cipitrine," she said to Garrus. "His are different."

"The Vakarians are an old family and their clan predates the city," Victus said, leaning into her touch as her hands slipped around to brush his fringe. She traced a slim line on the side of his neck and he said, "Shanxi. A human tried to slit my throat." 

"A human didn't do this one," she said, moving to what could only be talon marks. 

"A turian separatist. She fought like a female," he explained with a grin. 

"She almost killed you, didn't she?" Shepard guessed.

"She broke my keel. I was in the hospital for three weeks and almost drowned on my own blood before it was stabilized." He caught her confused look and said, "We have lung tissue in our bones rather than marrow. A broken bone can kill us. Fortunately, it isn't easy to do. In this case, she was an unregistered biotic and we were, um, not in armor at the time. I didn't realize she was a separatist. She knew I was a soldier."

"Ouch," she said. That had likely hurt his pride as well. She moved on to a different plate. "Why is this one lighter?"

"It's newer than the others. It was a common torture technique for humans during what you call the First Contact War," he said without malice.

"You were captured?" she asked.

He nodded. "It took two months for me to escape."

"And now you're fighting by our side," she said wonderingly.

"I am doing more than that," he said with a wicked grin and nipped lightly at her neck to illustrate. "I don't hold grudges."

"I can see that," she gasped as he clasped her hips in his hands and drew her into his lap. Garrus leaned back against the corner of the couch and grinned at her. 

Victus said, "I am afraid I have never been with a human before. However, I find you...intriguing. Are you allergic to dextros?"

"No," she said. "Are you allergic to levos?"

"No," he answered. "At least...not asari."

She grinned and said, "Then you’ll be fine. Asari and humans have very similar physiology. I'm not sure the details are the same, but the basic technique should be."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Adrien slid his arms around her waist and bent his head to nuzzle her neck again. "You smell delectable," he murmured and she felt the rasp of his tongue against her neck. She shivered in response and he made a pleased humming sound that vibrated in her chest. 

"You are gorgeous," she breathed, running her hands over the leathery plates.

He chuckled softly and she looked up to his face to find him regarding her with a look that was almost self-conscious. He said, "I am relieved that you approve."

When her fingers found a gap and the softer skin there, he gasped and his hands clenched on her hips. He seemed to like it as much as Garrus did, so she explored the gaps between his plates until she reached his waist. Her touch was hesitant at first, but she grew bolder and he groaned. When she experimentally placed her lips to his, he seemed as confused as Garrus had the first time but unresisting and allowed her to slip her tongue between his. He hesitantly followed her example and she brought her hands up to clasp the back of his neck. He became more enthusiastic at the evidence of her enjoyment. 

Now that they were here and clothing was being removed, Victus found himself suddenly nervous. He could handle fighting Reapers and leading troops with gusto. He'd been impressed by his own aplomb in his new political duties, though he was still uncertain about his qualifications or ability to do them justice. He had once been considered quite attractive among his own species and even asari, and had had no problem finding bed mates when he wished to do so. Now, however, he found himself faced with a new kind of uncertainty.

The commander was a desirable woman by any standards. The way that Vakarian had described her appeal to members of her crew of varying species and the way he himself looked at her was a testament to that. She was not lacking in opportunity for partnership. Neither, for that matter, was Garrus. He was young, virile, strong, and a hero among his people. Nyxis, who was considered remarkably attractive among their species, had spent months attempting to catch his eye and was not the only one that Victus had seen eyeing the other turian. 

Adrien, on the other hand, was slightly past his prime and had a good number of years on her. Tarquin was likely closer in age to the woman before him than he himself was. Physically, he was still in excellent shape and could match any other turian in strength, speed, and stamina without issue, but his plates were beginning to show wear and most females had begun to glance over him in favor of younger men. He was unsure of her reasons for choosing him to join them when she had someone so desirable already and had been concerned that she would find him unappealing.

He was not particularly skilled in reading human expression, but if he was correct in his assessment of her current one, she was pleased by what she saw, and perhaps a little nervous as well. He gently lifted her shirt from her. She allowed it and he looked at her with open curiosity. She was shaped similarly to an asari, though the color was different and her skin was thinner. Below the surface of her pale skin, he could see the blue lines of her blood vessels. He wondered that it could look so turian from the surface of her body, and yet, when it was spilled, was such an alien red. The delicate skin was marred with silvery lines and jagged, crumpled flesh in stripes that spoke of tearing and circles that he recognized as bullet wounds. There was a long line across her abdomen that he didn't recognize and other wounds on her back that he couldn't place. 

He traced them with a curious tilt to his head. She pointed to her abdomen and said, "Praetorian laser beam got me. The ones on my back are from particle beam guns while escaping the Collector base."

He said, "Garrus said that you returned to your ship badly injured because you pushed the drell and salarian ahead and took the brunt of the pursuing forces' assault on yourself, shielding them with your body." That was one of the reasons he admired her. It was something he himself would do.

She shrugged as though it was unremarkable, which it was to her, and said, "We didn't have time to fight back or cover each other's retreat. A few shots from a particle beam were nothing compared to the nuclear blast that was coming."

He continued to trace the marks on her body. Each of them told a story of her determination and courage, and in his mind, added to her beauty. She gasped when his hand slid up her spine and her eyes fluttered closed. His other hand came up to cup her breast. She grasped his arms for balance when he lightly trailed a talon along the gentle curve. He lowered his head and traced the same line on the other with his tongue and was rewarded by a mewling sound and her nails digging into the skin of his arms. 

Encouraged, he lifted her and carried her to the bed where he continued his exploration of her body with hands and mouth. Vakarian remained on the couch. He saw her glance toward her mate to find him drawing his talons along the hard ridge evident through his trousers. For now, Vakarian was allowing him to learn her without interruption. It seemed that he hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said he was a voyeur. Victus could smell the other turian’s desire mingling with the scent of the human female in his arms.

Victus was careful with his teeth and talons as he didn't wish to hurt her, but she seemed to appreciate light scrapes with his talons and when he nipped at her hipbone, she arched off the bed like she'd been shot through with electricity. He was a hip man, and while hers were narrow and differently shaped than a turian's, they were delightfully prominent for her shape. He enjoyed her reaction, especially when her hand came down to tangle in his fringe and stroke the underside. He growled in response and felt his breathing grow heavy.

He divested her of her remaining clothing and nuzzled at the soft skin between her legs. He knew that asari had preferences on attentions there and she was slightly different but close enough to make him wonder as he breathed in the heady scent of her arousal. His question was answered when she cried out at the first touch of his tongue against her and her hips bucked. He stroked her again and she called out his surname. "Adrien," he told her. Formality seemed superfluous when she was writhing naked in his arms. 

She bucked again when his finger slipped inside of her warm, wet sheath. She was softer than an asari here as well and more pliable. He reveled in the sound of her ragged breaths and the sight of her taut body straining against him. Her head was thrown back and her silken hair splayed across the pillow around her. She made a sound of protest when he withdrew his finger but loudly cried his name when he replaced it with his tongue. When she convulsed around him, crying out incoherently, his thoughts echoed the first sentiment he'd heard her say. _I've still got it._

Shepard lay helplessly in the glow of fulfillment as Adrien stalked up her body. She forced herself back into some semblance of awareness and wrapped her legs around his waist. He allowed her to roll him onto his back and straddle him. As he arranged the pillows behind his head to support it and protect his crest, she took advantage of his occupation to enjoy the graceful line of his neck and throat with her mouth as she stroked his fringe. She kissed and licked and nibbled her way to his collar and down, dipping her tongue between the lines of his plates. 

When she reached his waist, his hands fisted in her hair and began to knead her scalp as he groaned. She lavished attention on it, and when she lowered his pants, on the sweeping curve of his hipbones as he, too, seemed particularly reactive to that. She watched with interest as his plates shifted and he slid out from behind their protection. He was slightly thicker than Garrus, with the same cool silvery blue tint. She reached out and traced it with a finger and he drew in a hissing breath. 

Shepard had quickly learned with Garrus that he was more sensitive than a human male, probably due to it not being constantly exposed. She took advantage of that knowledge to drive him up until he was growling, purring, and kneading his talons into her shoulder, her bed, and anything else he could reach. He became particularly expressive when she lowered her head and drew her tongue along his length. She hadn't realized a turian's body could bow like that. It made her feel empowered, especially when he gasped hoarsely, "Please." She smiled at Garrus, who had pushed his pants aside and was stroking himself while he watched them. She remembered the first time that she’d done this to him. He gestured for her to continue with a knowing grin. Victus snarled and bucked beneath her when she drew him into her mouth. Their flavor was tangy and slightly metallic and nothing at all like a human, but she liked it. 

What she liked more was the sight of the typically mild turian Primarch stripped of all semblance of civility. His teeth and talons were bared, and like most soldiers she'd met, the latter were razor sharp instead of blunted like a politicians' or what passed for a civilian in their society. They pricked her skin, but she didn't mind. The sounds she drew from him were feral and exciting. Gone was his reserve and in its place was a wildness that she found fascinating and arousing. Garrus tended to hold himself in tight control with her, as if still afraid that she would be put off by their differences. He seemed encouraged by her response to Victus, though, as she heard him groan and glanced over to see him with his eyes locked on her mouth and his hand still working himself fully.

Victus firmly grasped her and pulled her up his body. His hand fisted in her hair. He nipped her shoulder hard. She cried out and bucked against him, feeling the roughness of his plates drag across her breasts. His keel fit between them, exposing her fully to the sensation of his chest. His knees nudged hers apart and her hands clasped the ridge of his collar as he pressed against her and held himself still, breathing heavily. 

She rolled her hips, trying to increase the contact, and he growled deep in his chest, "Be still, Shepard." His voice was another kind of caress. She reacted helplessly before realizing that he was waging a battle within himself for control. Her hands went up to gently stroke the back of his neck and over the top of his fringe as she went very still. As much as she would like to see his control break, she recognized the tone. Garrus’ quiet, “Easy, Shepard,” was confirmation that they were on a precipice. Raging lust and desire morphed into tenderness and she held him as she did what she could to help him regain his control.

Shepard was going to be the death of him. She was more responsive than a turian or even an asari, but her reactions were so like a turian woman that she was sending all sorts of instinctive messages to him. They were a bit muted without the harmony of subvocals, but her moans and the sounds she made were close enough approximations of their non-verbal communication that he wondered if she was aware of what she was telling him or if it was directed at him at all. It was taking all of his control not to increase the pressure of his mouth on her skin and mark her. 

He had no right to claim her. She belonged to Garrus. This could be nothing more than a relieving of tension. He was Primarch of Palaven and had a responsibility to his people. She was Commander Shepard and had a responsibility to the entire galaxy. Neither of them could afford the distraction of an additional emotional entanglement and he, especially, could not risk it. Turians bonded quickly and permanently when it happened. Humans, from what Garrus had told him, preferred to take things slowly as their emotions were fickle things and they took time to be certain of them before committing to another. They didn't have the luxury of time and he could not risk bonding to a female who belonged to another and could forget him the moment he stepped foot off of her ship. What he wanted from her was as hopeless as what he wanted with Garrus.

It was strange to him that, in all of his life, he'd never felt the urge to claim another, and yet Garrus had sorely tempted him and this female had almost undone him without even completing the act of mating. He recognized the mistake he'd made in agreeing to this. He had been fascinated by her even before he'd met her. That had only grown in the short time he'd known her. He knew about her from news vids and rumors and Vakarian's many stories, but she'd never even heard of him before she'd arrived on Menae. Fascination had turned to admiration and respect, and from there, to attraction and affection. He was playing a dangerous game, he realized as he felt the tone of her touch shift from wanting to tender and supportive, but damned if he could stop. 

His hips surged forward with a helpless growl and he tore his teeth from her before they could lock down. She made a high sound and threw her head back, baring her throat to him, as she stretched to accommodate his girth. The involuntary movements of her hips as she adjusted to him had stars bursting behind his eyes. He withdrew to push into her again, demanding that she take all of him and do so now. Her hands were still on the back of his neck and they pressed into the plates of his spine ridge, pulling his head down to her throat. She mewled again and he licked her jaw and told himself not to bite, not to mark, not to take this farther than it could go. 

She hooked her legs over his hips and met his pace. The combined sensations of her body wrapped around him and her thighs clasping his waist and her hands roaming over the underside of his fringe threatened to undo him. He thrust into her forcefully, forgetting she was human and soft and breakable as his talons buried themselves in the flesh of her hips and raked down her spine. She arched into him and cried out sharply, but the tightness of her sheath around him and the helpless cries of, "Adrien, please!" pouring from her lips told him it was pleasure rather than pain. 

Bolstered by the assurance that she could take what he had to give, he angled his hips and slammed into her. The sensation of her flat teeth locking onto the side of his neck sent him over the edge and he locked his jaw around the ball of her shoulder, not the flat, not a bond mark, not a claim, just a bite and flicked his thumb against the bundle of nerves at her center. She convulsed around him, calling his name, and digging her nails into his hide as he spilled into her.

He held himself over her on his elbows and pressed his forehead against her sternum as they both heaved in great gasps of air and tried to still their racing hearts. Shepard brought her hands up to gently stroke the thick hide at the back of his neck and nuzzled the top of his fringe as she basked in the afterglow. The rumbling purr always reminded her of a big cat and the impression was further cemented when he rubbed his forehead against her throat in the way that Garrus usually did on her forehead. She remembered that turians marked their partners with their scent like a cat did to its people before reminding herself that this was just a fling.

The thought disappointed her more than it should have, though the idea of a fling with the Primarch was an enticing one. Unfortunately for her, the physical intimacy of the act seemed to have cemented with the feelings of affection and kinship and understanding that she'd had for him before to amalgamate into something deeper. She reminded herself that this was why she didn't do casual. He was from a culture that placed absolutely no significance on what they'd just done. He would feel nothing differently toward her while all of her feelings had suddenly shifted and that made her feel even more guilty as she knew that Garrus had never intended for this to be an emotional experience for her. She was supposed to be helping the Primarch while they indulged a fantasy. For the first time since it had started, she wondered why Garrus hadn’t joined them.

When he withdrew from her and lifted his head, Victus’ expression was shuttered and he was once more the reserved Primarch. She felt a pang of disappointment when she realized he was leaving and tried to suppress it. He surprised her by reaching up to brush at a lock of her hair and pressing his stiff lips against hers for a brief human kiss. Her smile was real and she cupped his mandible before releasing him to allow him to rise and dress. Only then did Garrus come over and place his forehead against hers.

Victus turned at the door and looked back at them for a long moment. The expression on his face was one she hadn't seen before on any turian and she couldn't read it. He said quietly, "Thank you, Shepard, Vakarian," and left. 

She leaned into Garrus and surveyed the damage. Her mattress was punctured in a few places. That was nothing new. A change of sheets would cover those. The punctures on her hips and shoulder and the scratches on her back were already closing. The medigel that Garrus applied would keep them from scarring. His scent lingered on the air and she realized that the room and her body were only an outward representation of her inner state. She felt something for him that she wouldn't call love and that didn’t hold a candle to what she felt for Garrus but something beyond friendship all the same. It was enough that the idea of him leaving the _Normandy_ sent a sharp pang through her and that was more than she could afford to experience. This couldn't be anything more than just sex. She looked at Garrus to ensure that he truly was all right with everything that had just happened. He seemed to sense her internal conflict and kissed her deeply before drawing back and saying, “That was damn sexy, Shepard. Next time, I’m joining in.”

“Why didn’t you?” she asked.

He put his forehead to hers again and said, “I’d already been there. It just seemed fair for you to get him to yourself this time.”

“You're talking like there’s going to be a repeat performance,” she said as she slid her arms around his neck.

“Don’t you want one?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Humans are different from turians. Sex isn’t just about the physical with us. I don’t want to end up developing feelings that could jeopardize what we have.”

“Can humans only care about one person at a time?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “But I thought we were, you know, just us.”

He pulled her into his arms and placed his teeth gently over the mark he’d left on her shoulder before saying, “Turians regularly marry someone who isn’t their mate, especially when they’re as highly ranked as the Primarch’s and my family. Generally, the spouses aren’t bonded to each other but it isn’t unheard of, especially with the females, for them to bond with both their mate and their spouse. Triads aren’t entirely uncommon. My father was bonded to Adrien’s wife and to my mother and she was bound to him and her mate. There are more males than females on Palaven by a wide margin. Military service tends to even things out but there are still old ways that come up every now and then. I’m not opposed to you caring about Adrien as long as we’re still together.”

She reached up and cupped his mandible as she said, “Garrus, I love you. No one can ever replace you. I’m not me without you. I could never feel for someone else the way I feel about you.”

“You don’t have to,” he said. “And I have no intention of being with any woman but you. I, ah, know we agreed that we can’t make any promises until the war is over, but in case you’re wondering, I won’t be marrying anyone else. That doesn’t mean I’m not…hmm…okay with the idea of a triad. Victus is a friend and he cares about both of us. It would make me feel better knowing that you aren’t alone if something happened to me. And he doesn’t have anyone left. With his son and wife both dead, he’s alone now.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

“Good,” he said and rolled her beneath him. He slid into her with a single smooth stroke and she arched into him as he began to glide in and out of her. “Remember what I said about the idea of you coming to me after being with the Primarch?”

“Yes,” she gasped.

“It’s even better in reality,” he informed her. He leaned his head down to say into her ear, “I think that next time, I want to take you while he’s inside you.”

“Oh, God, Garrus!” she exclaimed. “Where the hell did this come from?” She knew that turians had a reputation for being a bit kinkier than the other races, but she’d never seen it with him before.

“Oh, it’s always been there,” he said, licking the line of her throat. “I just hadn’t realized you’d like it.”

“I like it,” she assured him. “I like it a lot.”

“Good,” he said, “because I’ve got a whole host of fantasies starring you. The current one involves you up against that fish tank.” With that, he lifted her off of the bed without disconnecting from her and carried her across the room. His movements shifted him inside of her and she moaned loudly as her back hit the cool glass of the aquarium. He hooked her thighs over the jut of his hips to support her and began to thrust deeply into her as he nipped at the side of her neck and kneaded her hips with his talons. She stroked the underside of his fringe, making him purr, as her other hand came up to splay against the glass to brace herself. 

“What else?” she asked, wanting to hear his voice in her ear again. This sexually confident Garrus was new to her and she liked it.

“I’ve considered utilizing the recording function on my visor,” he said. “Then, when I’m down in the battery waiting on a test to run, I could play it back and see you squirming for me, hear you call my name, remember how you feel around me as I, ah, take care of certain…pressing issues. It would be much better than Fornax.”

The thought of him fantasizing about her when she wasn’t around was incredibly hot. She could easily picture him leaned back against the terminal with that gorgeous blue cock in his hands as he stroked himself like he did while watching her with Victus. “Go on,” she said encouragingly.

He chuckled against her throat and said, “I’ve also thought about that pair of handcuffs I still have from my days in C-Sec. You may be the boss, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy having you at my mercy every once in a while.”

“Oh, gods, yes,” she groaned, picturing herself tied to the bed while Garrus had his way with her. “And then I could take a turn…”

“Spirits, Shepard,” he said and nipped at her earlobe with his lips. “I don’t know if I could handle that. You drive me crazy enough as it is. I might die. Of course, I’d go out with a smile on my face.” He changed the angle of his thrusts so that her clit was rubbing lightly against his plates and said, “When you were sucking Victus, I wanted nothing more than to come up behind you and start fucking you while you had him in your mouth. See how long you could maintain your focus with both of us.”

“I would not…be opposed…” she gasped, squirming against him in an effort to get that last bit of contact that would send her over the edge. The combination of his hands roving her body, his mouth on her, his voice, and the way he was moving inside her was driving her wild. She was beginning to have difficulty focusing on what he was saying and forming words was becoming an effort. “Garrus,” she moaned.

“I can feel him inside you, you know,” he said. “You’re slick from him. You fucked the Primarch of Palaven and yet here you are, calling my name. Come for me, Shepard. I want to see you.”

There it was. That was what she’d needed. She bowed against him hard enough to make him take a step back to reestablish his footing as he drove into her and she cried his name. This was Garrus, her Garrus, and the best sex in the galaxy with anyone else couldn’t begin to compare to what he made her feel. She clung to him as she fell apart around him and felt him stiffen as he called her name in a hoarse voice. His base swelled, locking him in place, and he dropped his forehead to hers. When he regained control of his breathing, he carried her over to the bed and laid them down with his arms around her. “Sleep, Shepard,” he said, stroking her hair. “I’ll keep the nightmares away.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider most of this story NSFW from here on out.

The following day didn’t reduce her sorrow over Tarquin’s loss and seeing Grunt only slightly lessened her worry over him. He was more still than she’d ever seen him and she hated the knowledge that her krogan warrior child was fighting an entirely different kind of battle. Awake, he would reject any form of softness from her, but she decided that what he didn’t know wouldn’t get made fun of later and indulged herself by wiping his brow with a wet cloth. Mordin hummed to himself as he worked on something on the other side of the room and she could feel Eve watching her. When she turned, the shaman said, “I never imagined that I would see the day that a human truly cared for a krogan. You treat him as if he is your child.”

“He is, in a way,” Shepard said. “If he wakes up, don’t tell him I was in here fussing over him. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Eve laughed and said, “Men.”

Shepard shook her head with a grin and said, “They act like they’re so tough, but you should have seen him the time he went to move his tank around and scraped a sliver of metal from the floor. It got in his eye. I was eating lunch and he came barreling into the mess hall, wailing like an infant. Shook the deck when he dropped down in front of me and shouted, ‘Get it out! Get it out!’ He wouldn’t let Karin or Mordin touch him. I had to do it. I’ve seen him take a shotgun blast and laugh about it, but that tiny piece of metal turned him into a little boy. A giant little boy.”

“You are fortunate, Commander, to have this experience,” Eve said.

“I know,” Shepard told her. “I can’t have children of my own. I never really minded it. I’m a Spectre. A normal family isn’t really in the cards for me. Knowing Grunt, though, has kind of made me realize what I’ve missed.”

“I can empathize with that,” Eve said.

“I know you can,” Shepard told her. “Soon, though, you won’t have to.”

She made her rounds, talking to Joker and EDI and Sam before going into the war room to discuss the latest information from Tuchanka and Palaven with Wrex and Adrien. The news wasn’t good on either front. More Reapers were being spotted on Tuchanka every day and the death toll on Palaven was rising. If Mordin didn’t get the cure synthesized soon, the Reapers were going to decimate the turians. Their chances of getting the cure dispersed went down with every passing day. She and Wrex were still discussing options on administering the cure and he was growing frustrated with their lack of progress.

She didn’t like the shadows behind Adrien’s eyes or the dullness of his plates. If this was how he looked after relieving stress, she didn’t want to think of how bad it would have been without it. She sent a quick message to Garrus, and when he replied letting her know that he couldn’t get away but was all right with her idea anyway, she invited Victus up to her cabin. He maintained his composure as he followed her out of the war room and through the CIC. When the elevator doors closed, however, he pulled her to him and buried his face in her hair. Once in the cabin, they shed their clothing and tumbled to the bed in a tangle of limbs.

Their hands were more confident now that they knew they could provide each other pleasure and they began seeking out the less obvious places that their partner might enjoy. She discovered that nuzzling his throat beneath his chin made him hum happily and his touch grow tender. He discovered that tugging the hair at the base of her neck made her knees go weak. Her tongue behind his spurs made him hiss and his tongue over her spine made her back arch and her hips roll. A nip at the junction of his hip and waist unsheathed his talons and said talons dragged along the junction of her ass and leg made her cry out. The gaps between his ridge plates on the back of his neck made him bite down but her thumbs pressed alongside them made him purr. To his delight, biting almost anywhere on her body made her writhe as did the use of his talons.

They took their time learning each other and were by turns rough and gentle, harsh and soft, demanding and tender. She couldn't reconcile this thorough exploration of each other with a quick fuck to relieve stress. It was too personal and felt too much like comfort to be meaningless. She kissed more than she licked or nipped and they paused on occasion to simply hold each other and breathe. When added to their personal revelations and the casual touches they'd shared since their first encounter, she felt the lines between friends and more blur.

When he finally entered her, his fingers tangled between hers over her head and his eyes bored into hers. She raised her hips to draw him in and lifted her head to press her lips to his. His tongue swept into her mouth. The taste of herself on him combined with the lingering flavor of him on her and he groaned. His pace remained measured and steady and he released a hand to cup the back of her head. Hers went up to cup his mandible and she felt a rumble in his chest. No, this could not be called just sex.

"Spirits, Shepard," he breathed against her mouth.

"Adrien, I--" she began but he pressed his lips to hers again.

"No, Shepard," he whispered. "Let's not... Not tonight." He eased the sting of his words by pressing his forehead against her sternum. He was too vulnerable, too emotionally raw, to hear words that might not hold the same sentiment later. He told her without words, but verbalizing it in a way they both understood without question was too far for them to go. As it was, he could tell himself later that they were just two soldiers taking comfort where it was offered, two starships passing in the void, and not something deep and lasting and bonding. Here and now, though, he couldn't deny that he would be lying to himself.

She was not just a random fling any more than Garrus had been. They had both been there for him during the worst parts of his life. Garrus had stood by him as the Reapers invaded and they fell further and further behind. He had given him comfort as they’d watched their homeworld burn. He’d stood by him while Adrien had begun to figure out his new duties. He’d given him advice and made him feel at home on this human ship.

She had held him while he'd come to terms with the death of the only person he'd ever truly loved before and his own responsibility for that death. She'd risked her life to recover his son's body so that he could someday take him home to Palaven. She'd cradled his son's body and protected it from further harm and had used the shirt off of her back to clean his blood. No one had ever done for him the things that she had and the physical pleasure he found in her soft body was unprecedented. She had ruined him for turian women.

They could not hold back their pleasure forever and when her head fell back to expose the line of her throat to him and her eyes met his, the move was deliberate enough to break him. He closed his teeth over her throat, careful not to pierce the delicate skin there, and felt her moan reverberate against his mandibles. He still held her hand in one of his own but slid the other beneath the small of her back and lifted her to him. She tangled her fingers in his fringe and held his head where it was as she cried out his name and shuddered in his arms.

The rhythmic contractions of her body around him triggered his own release and he seated himself fully within her. Their eyes widened simultaneously in surprise as his base began to swell, locking him in place. He supposed that her surprise came from the fact that it hadn't happened the last time while his came from the fact that it hadn't happened at all but for when he and Aurelia had been together for the purpose of conception. Tying happened intentionally with that goal in mind and he only knew of it occurring unintentionally with a mate. His body didn't seem to care about his mind's reservations.

He pressed his forehead to her shoulder. "How do you feel about cuddling?" he asked in what he hoped was a conversational tone.

"I enjoy cuddling," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

He answered with a sigh, "Because we might be here for a while and I would prefer cuddling to awkward silence."

Her arms wrapped around him and he felt her chuckle. Good, she wasn't upset over it. She stroked the top of his fringe and pressed a kiss to his mandible before asking, "And why do you sound embarrassed?"

He knew the back of his neck had probably darkened to the color of a stormy sea and he replied, "As far as I know, this, um, isn't supposed to happen with another species. I think my body thinks you're turian."

"Oh," she answered, drawing the lone syllable out.

"Yeah," he replied in the same tone.

"It happens with Garrus all the time. I just think it’s kind of funny," she admitted and he lifted his head slightly to take in her wry grin. She pointed at a surgical scar just above her pelvic bone near a puckered bullet wound surrounded by smaller scars and said, "You didn't ask me about that one. The bullet scar is what a krogan shotgun wound looks like when inflicted at close range. Went right through my shields and armor. I lost two organs to that one. One they could replace. The other they couldn't."

He remembered what Liara had almost said about the tank-bred krogan being the closest thing to a child she could ever have. "I'm sorry," he said.

She shrugged. "Kids were never in the cards for me anyway. I always have Grunt." That quickly, the pain was back for both of them. He drew her closer and buried his face in her hair. Her arms tightened around him and she pressed her lips to the side of his neck. "I'm sorry, Adrien. If I could go back..."

"What?" he asked. "You'd suddenly develop biotics and be able to pull him out of the way? Be privy to all of Cerberus' plans?"

"I should have thought," she insisted. "I should have realized that it was too easy and they would have something in place and warned him. I rushed it."

"I never should have assigned him to that mission," he said. "I promoted him without merit. That is my responsibility, not yours."

She said, "If word had gotten out before it was disarmed, we'd have lost the krogan and no amount of history with Wrex would have convinced him to help."

"There were others," he said.

"Others you trusted as much with that big of a secret whom you could find and who could get here on short notice without raising red flags?" she asked. "Because I'll tell you that there wasn't a man in that team who would have kept that mission going without Tarquin. He just needed a lesson in motivating people to continue following you after making a mistake. Garrus could have done it and he likely would have figured out the trap before it was sprung because he knows Cerberus, too, but that would have meant telling me and you didn't know that I wouldn't turn around and tell Wrex."

He sighed again as a band loosened around his heart and said, "No. I suppose you're right. Is Vakarian aware of your unwavering faith in him? He is a lucky man to have this kind of constant support."

"He knows," she said. "And he does it for me just as much as I do it for him." She wiggled a bit and he gasped and pressed more fully into her. She groaned and he did it again. "Oh, fuck, Adrien," she moaned.

He grinned and rocked against her. This would likely increase the time he was tied with her and he couldn't feel much, but he couldn't bring himself to mind. The utter delight on her face and the way she bared her throat to him as she writhed beneath him was worth it. Simply having her in his arms was worth it. He scraped his teeth along her throat as he moved as much as he could and her breath came in rapid panting gasps. He didn't know quite what it was doing for her, but her hands shook as she clung to him. However it felt to her, it was swiftly unraveling her control. He drank in the sight of the great Commander Shepard coming apart and begging in his arms. He angled his hips to let his plates rub against her and she clawed at his back and all but screamed his name. If he were capable of climaxing again in his current condition, that would have sent him over the edge.

When she collapsed back on the bed, he gathered her to him and rolled onto his side with her tucked up against his chest. He stroked her back as her fingers drew lazy circles against the hide of his neck. She murmured, "Stay with us tonight."

He nuzzled her hair and said, "All right." Spending the night wasn't something one did when blowing off steam, but they'd likely bypassed that stage even before they'd been together the first time. It was too late for that now. Humans had a stage that was more than just physical connection but less than bonding, which covered relationships anywhere on the scale from little more than friends to all but permanent commitment. He wondered if that arrangement covered their current situation and if she would be amenable to it. He didn't know the protocol of addressing such a situation, however, or if she would even want this to continue once they had secured krogan support for Palaven and sent troops to Earth. He pushed the thoughts aside and laid his forehead against the side of her head.

When Garrus came up later, he slid into bed on the other side of Shepard in what was clearly his spot. His touch was tender as he brushed the hair away from her face and smiled softly. Adrien was somewhat apprehensive about the other turian’s reaction to finding his mate in another man’s arms but Vakarian simply looked up at him and said quietly, “Good. You got her to sleep.”

“She, ah, asked me to stay,” he said. “I can go, though, if you want.”

“No,” Garrus said. “She likes you. You make her happier. We discussed _trias_ last night. She’s willing to consider it if you’re interested.”

Victus looked down as Shepard turned to face Garrus and buried her face in his neck. To his surprise, she didn’t release his hand where it had entwined with hers and instead tucked his arm around her waist. It still amazed him that humans and turians could be so comfortable around each other now and even more so that she could appear so utterly relaxed between the two of them. She was so soft and small. They could kill her in a moment with her defenses down like this, but she had complete faith in her safety with them. He said, “And if she changes her mind when I leave?”

“She won’t,” Garrus said. “Shepard only knows two speeds: full stop and all out. She’s more loyal than anyone you’ve ever known and once she commits to something, she’s fully committed to it. She isn’t like other humans. She won’t change her mind if she decides she cares about you.”

“I care about her,” he said. “And us?”

“You’re the Primarch,” Garrus said.

“You were here first,” Victus said. He may outrank Vakarian in every other way, but when it came to Shepard, he knew that her loyalty lay first and foremost with Garrus. They would be the ones who would decide what form their relationship, if any, would take. “And that wasn’t what I meant.”

“Let’s just, ah, see where it goes,” Garrus said. “No pressure.”

“I like that,” Victus said.

He saw Shepard shift and her hand slid down Garrus’ chest. The other turian gritted his teeth as her small fingers splayed across his waist and whispered, “Shit. She’s waking up. She needs sleep.”

“Don’t want sleep,” she muttered tiredly. “I want you.”

Garrus put up a valiant resistance, but Shepard knew exactly what she was doing and Adrien watched in vague amusement as she wore it down. He knew she’d won when Garrus’ head went back and her teeth closed lightly over his throat. The younger turian gasped and pulled her astride. She hadn’t dressed after their earlier activities and Victus decided to help her in her quest by reaching over, and after ensuring that Garrus didn’t object, drawing his pants down to give Shepard access. She glided over Garrus’ exposed length and Garrus hissed in a breath. Victus leaned back and watched as she sank down onto the other turian. He’d expected her to ride him hard, but she didn’t. She leaned forward so that her forehead was pressed to Vakarian’s and began to move languorously.

Victus had thought that he would experience jealousy over seeing his lovers together in the bed he’d just shared with one, but he didn’t. He did, however, almost felt as if he was intruding and was contemplating leaving them to their activity when Garrus took his wrist and made a sound of reassurance and invitation. A part of him wanted to join in, but there was an intimacy to the act that he didn’t want to disrupt, so he leaned back against the headboard and observed. He didn’t consider himself a voyeur, but he did feel somewhat honored to be allowed to witness what was clearly a private moment between the two of them. Shepard reached out and stroked the line of his spur, silently adding her welcome to Garrus’ and he relaxed further.

The two of them moved together as well in bed as they did out of it, reading each other’s moods and unerringly finding the places that would draw the reaction they sought. It was clear that Shepard was ultimately in control of this particular interaction as she was in most of those with Garrus, but there was an unmistakable sharing of power that was uncommon in turian relationships. They were just short of equals and Adrien thought that it was likely only Garrus’ sense of hierarchy that maintained even the slight imbalance.

They didn’t rush even as their breaths grew more ragged and their vocalizations more intense. When Garrus rolled her beneath him, the movement was gentle and Adrien could see the emotion in the younger man’s eyes and hear it in the secondary vocals. He wondered if Shepard could hear Vakarian’s raw declarations of his love for her and wondered, too, if Garrus had ever said it in a way that she could understand. He decided to ask later and advise him to do so if he hadn’t. She knew, of course she knew, but she deserved to hear the words in her own language. When they came together with soft sighs and groans, Adrien found himself wishing that he could one day be on the receiving end of the devotion they showed each other. 


	12. Chapter 12

Adrien had discovered recently that waking up with a human was very different from waking up with a turian. First, there were the soft arms that had managed to wend their way around him and lock him into place. Then, there was the cool, slight weight of her against his chest and her leg thrown across his waist. There was also the way that her hair had tangled around his mandibles and was currently threatening to go up his nose. She'd somehow managed to figure out how to conform her more flexible figure around a turian’s sharper angles and hard surfaces in a way that would probably look awkward and uncomfortable to someone from either of their species but was surprisingly comfortable. 

He and Garrus had begun to find a rhythm. Humans slept more than turians and so one would begin the night with her while the other ended it and woke with her. She fell asleep more easily beside Garrus and Adrien’s meetings tended to run late into the night cycle due to time changes between areas, so he’d woken up beside her more often than he’d fallen asleep. He was beginning to enjoy it. 

She looked younger in her sleep. The faint lines of strain on her face smoothed out and the shadows under her eyes had faded. Her skin held more color than normal. Without her fierce persona radiating from her, she seemed vulnerable and painfully human and delicate. He couldn't imagine this woman facing the threats she did and felt a trill of fear for her. How would she possibly survive this war? He may not be able to keep her, but he couldn't bear to lose her, too.

The three of them had spent every available moment of the past week together. When all of them were able to get away, he’d accompanied her with Garrus as she'd run her errands around the Citadel and had watched as she'd taken the time to stop and talk to people or to offer her help with problems that were far below her pay grade. It didn't matter to her whether it was a councilor or a refugee child, she treated every conversation and every request as if it were galaxy-shaking. He'd left her only to meet with Sparatus and to accompany Vakarian to the refugee camps to walk through and bolster his displaced people while she got Grunt settled and visited two of her other crewmembers in the hospital. His friendship with Garrus grew and he thought it was changing into something more on Vakarian’s part as well. He was beginning to hope that he’d been wrong about there not being room for him in their world.

He'd begun using his quarters only sparingly and spent most of his nights in the captain’s cabin. If she wasn't running a mission or sequestered away in briefings, she took her morning coffee with him and at least one of her daily meals. Between eating with him and with Garrus, she was actually getting adequate nutrition and that made both him and Vakarian happy. She supported him in his grief and listened as he detailed the current situation on Palaven and worked through ideas. She was a clever tactician and had an appreciation for outside of the box thinking. He found himself seeking her opinion almost as much as he did Vakarian's. Much of the time, the two made similar, if not the same, ideas and input. Other times they vehemently disagreed and he listened to their reasons and used them to come up with a third solution. 

For all of that, they were all busy and spent most of their time working, but he'd discovered that he enjoyed the peace he found in her quarters while she pored over reports and typed her own, made recommendations, placed requisition orders, scanned planets for resources, and whatever else she did that kept her hands flying furiously over her terminal and deepened the crease beginning to form between her eyebrows. Then she would feel his eyes on her face and her own would flicker up to meet them. Her face would soften into a smile before she returned to her work. When she began to roll her shoulders and stretch her neck as the muscles cramped from sitting in one position for so long, he would pause in his own work and go to her to massage the tension. She usually wouldn't stop working, but she never failed to place a hand over his or look over to press her lips to them or simply thank him with a smile. He thought that, if he was Garrus, he’d find a way to calibrate the guns from the office in her cabin in order to have these experiences with her.

She was becoming vital to him in a way that he could no longer fight or resist. He was terrified that she would slip through his fingers like smoke on the wind. The reports they had gotten about the new Reaper at the Shroud facility were enough to worry him when he thought of her trip to the barren rock. He wished viciously that he could return to the field and envied Vakarian his constant place at her six. 

He wanted to protect them and keep them safe, but he knew rationally that he could not do that. The war effort needed both of them on the front lines as much as it needed him in the war room. That didn't ease his growing sense of time running out. They had reached Tuchankan space and the cure was as close to finished as it could get on the ship. She and Garrus would be going down tomorrow when Artimec Wing arrived and would face the Reapers once more. He had no doubts about her capability, but she was just one tiny woman against machines that were sometimes kilometers tall and could kill her in an instant.

Shepard woke to Adrien's hands in her hair and his lips trailing over her face. There was an intense rumble in his chest and a desperation in his touch. "Adrien?" she asked. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

The endearment and her sleepy tone seemed only to feed whatever was going through his head. She brought her hand up to stroke his fringe, but even that didn't seem to calm him. His touch on her body was possessive and demanding and when his finger slid inside of her, she matched his fever pitch. His hand withdrew and he pushed roughly into her, hilting inside of her and she wrapped her legs around him. His teeth locked onto her shoulder and held just shy of breaking skin as his breath groaned in his chest. He didn't move and she sensed him once more waging an internal battle.

She pressed her thumbs into the line of muscle on either side of his spine ridge and he relaxed slightly. "Adrien, honey, talk to me," she encouraged. He pulled back and looked down at her. She was amazed to see fear written across his face. He opened his mouth as if to speak but closed it again and pressed his forehead to hers. She wondered if he was feeling their time together slipping away as acutely as she was. She didn't know what came next for them and wasn't ready for this to end. She didn't know how he'd become as important to her as he had and so quickly, but she couldn't deny that it was true. 

He began to move within her and thought faded as sensation took over. His pace was swift and rough and she met his intensity with her own. Nails and talons and teeth met skin and plate and hide. He drew blood but she didn't care. She reveled in his wildness and used her grip around his waist to flip him onto his back. He gripped her hips tightly as she rode him hard, lifting up to slide forcefully back down on him, hilting him inside of her each time. Her hands on his waist drew delicious sounds from him that made her shudder.

She raked her nails over his abdomen and his body bowed as much as his physiology would allow. She felt a rush of power at the sight of him so completely at her mercy. His head was thrown back, and without thinking, she did to him what she was accustomed to doing with Garrus and clamped her teeth over his throat. He froze and growled deep in his throat. This wasn't his typical sound of desire. This was a low, feral, menacing sound that set all of her hairs on end. "Shepard," he snarled and it was a warning. "Let. Go." She released him immediately and he let out a heavy exhale and wrapped his arms around her. “I apologize,” he said.

“It’s all right,” she said. “I hadn’t intended to do that. I got a bit carried away.” 

He placed his forehead against hers and said, “As advanced as we are, we’re still a predatory race that remains very closely tied to our instincts. Strip away the clothing and the discipline and we’re not that far removed from our ancestors who stalked their prey across the mountains of Palaven.”

“What’s wrong, Adrien?” she asked. “You’ve been on edge since we woke.”

He sighed and said, “I am…worried about you. I want to be down there with you.”

She stroked his mandible and kissed him gently before saying, “I know, but I need you up here coordinating your fighters. I need a set of eyes that can see the whole picture. You have my back up here just as much as Garrus does on the ground.”

“And when I leave?” he asked. “What happens then? I don’t know what to expect from a human in this situation.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “What do you want?”

“What I want is irrelevant,” he answered. 

“It isn’t to me,” she told him.

“I want to remain aboard the _Normandy_ ,” he said. “I want to fight with you. I cannot do either.”

“And us?” she asked. “Is this still just blowing off steam?”

He stroked her hair back and said, “I don’t think it’s ever been ‘just blowing off steam.’ Do you?” 

“No,” she answered. “And I don’t think it was with Garrus, either. So what do you want from us?”

“I want you,” he said. “I want what you and Garrus have to extend to all of us.”

“Then we’ll sit down and talk about it,” she said. “After Tuchanka is dealt with but before you leave, the three of us will have a conversation and we’ll decide where to go from here. Garrus is…nervous. He’s never experienced this with another man before. Give him time. It took years for him to admit he loved me. He cares about you, too. He just needs to come to terms with it.”

“All right,” he said and began to move again. She gasped and arched into him as he scraped his teeth over her shoulder. The desperation, which had been just below the surface, rose again with the knowledge between them that this could be the last time. He drove into her as if attempting to lay claim to her body, to leave his mark on her even if he refused to actually mark her, and she locked her teeth on his collarbone as she met his urgent pace. He brought a hand between them and brushed his thumb over her, sending her over the edge. She called his name and wasn’t surprised when he swelled within her. 

Later, she lay in his arms contemplating the offer she’d received from the dalatrass. There was a time when accepting wouldn’t have even crossed her mind. That time, however, came before the Reapers had descended on the galaxy, slaughtering people by the billions. She needed the salarians to help build the Crucible, but she needed the krogan to aid the turians. If she lost either force, their odds of winning the war dropped significantly. Shepard was accustomed by now to making hard calls and had met with success in making them on the fly. This, however, was an instance in which she truly did not know what to do. 

She said, “Do you remember asking me if I would share with you information that could affect Earth?”

He propped himself on an elbow and looked down at her, his expression serious. “Yes.”

She said, “I have a dilemma and I’m at a loss.”

“I will do what I can to advise you, Shepard,” he said, “but if you don’t know what to do, then I don’t know how much help I’ll be.”

She sighed and raked her hands through her hair. “Hypothetically, if, say, the dalatrass were to make you an offer that would gain us both salarian and krogan support but it would require betrayal, what would you do?”

He asked, “What are the odds of that betrayal coming to light?”

“Low, if she’s to be believed,” Shepard answered.

Adrien rolled onto his back and looked up at the stars streaming above the porthole as he contemplated. “What are your thoughts?” he asked.

She said, “I don’t know if we can finish the Crucible in time without the salarians. We need their scientists. If we don’t finish the Crucible, we lose the war. Hackett is right. We can’t win this conventionally. The Protheans are proof enough of that. On the other hand, if we don’t secure krogan aid for Palaven, then your people are going to die. Without your people, my people will die. Without our people, everyone will die.”

He hummed and said, “It is so strange to live in a time when the fate of the galaxy depends on the cooperation of humans and turians. Three decades ago, you and I would have killed each other on sight.”

She chuckled and said, “I’m afraid I wasn’t as proficient in the use of weapons back then. You’d have had an easy time taking me out. I was three.”

He shook his head and groaned. “Don’t remind me. The difference in our species is enough to come to terms with. Let’s not add the age difference as well.”

She kissed his shoulder and said, “The age difference is the most normal thing about us and I’m okay with that.”

“You would be,” he laughed and then sobered. “I assume that the dalatrass told you that she would promise salarian aid if you somehow sabotage the cure for the genophage.”

“Bingo,” she said and explained the offer. “She sounds certain that Wrex won’t figure it out.”

He ran his talons along his fringe and shook his head. “On the surface, it appears to be the most logical choice. We don’t know that she is wrong in her predictions about the long-term effects of a cure on the krogan. If Wrex’ behavior is anything to go by, then it is no doubt possible that they will attempt a coup once the war is over and our people are exhausted of war and looking only to rebuild. The long-term ramifications cannot be overlooked for short-term gain. However, if they were to discover the betrayal and withdraw their support, the long-term won’t matter because there won’t be one.”

“You don’t think I’m a horrible person for thinking about betraying someone I once called a friend?” she asked. “You aren’t doubting my loyalty to my allies?” She knew that, had the situation been reversed, she certainly would be.

“I presume from your use of the past tense that you no longer call Urdnot Wrex a friend. Do you consider the krogan an ally at this point?” he asked.

“No,” she answered. “A potential ally, sure. A current one? No. When Wrex made his demands, he set the ground rules. It isn’t personal. If it was, he’d have come to our aid without question. He didn’t help us with the Collectors and he won’t help us now without payment. This is business. And, as such, I have to look at numbers.”

“It sounds like you’ve made your decision, Commander,” he noted. “You just want confirmation that you aren’t…what’s the phrase? Selling your soul?”

She laid her head back and looked up. “Yeah,” she said on a sigh. “I guess you’re right.”

“Are you asking me as the Commander to the Primarch or as the woman to the man?” he asked.

“Both,” she answered.

He said, “As the first, I will agree with your course of action if you can be certain that the krogan will not discover the truth and withdraw their support. We do ultimately need both and the risk of unchecked krogan expansion when led by one such as Wrex with the power to unite the clans and lead them against us at a later date cannot be understated. As a man, I will support whatever you choose because I know that it is not a decision you will make lightly or without honor.”

“Honor,” she mused. “‘Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts what honor matters…’”

“Ghosts cannot answer, Shepard,” he said.

“Precisely,” she said heavily.


	13. Chapter 13

“You should get some rest, Commander,” Adrien said to her late that same night.

Shepard shook her head. “No time. Let’s go over this again.”

He took her arm and tugged her away from the command center in the war room. “We’ve gone over it fifteen times. There is nothing more that we can do tonight and you need your rest before the mission.”

“He’s right, Shepard,” Garrus said. “We all know what we need to do and we’re ready. You can’t do this if you’re dead on your feet.”

“You really think I’m going to be able to sleep?” she asked. She never slept well the night before a big mission. Her mind was always too occupied with running over the details and searching for the one piece which, if missed, could spell disaster. Garrus had lain patiently beside her as she’d stared up through the porthole often enough to know that rest was unlikely to find her tonight.

His voice dropped and he said, “I think we can do something to help with that.” She caught the look he gave Adrien over her head and raised an eyebrow. Victus gave a nonverbal reply and the two of them flanked her. She found herself being propelled out of the war room and through the biometric scanners. Garrus said to Sam, “The commander isn’t to be disturbed unless it’s an emergency. Liara has the deck.” Traynor, accustomed to Garrus’ protectiveness, merely cast a curious glance at the Primarch and nodded.

When the elevator doors closed behind them, Garrus turned to her and began to tug her uniform shirt from her waistband. Unlike before, Victus didn’t seem content to simply watch and she felt his arms slide around her from behind as his warm breath bathed her ear. “Relax, Shepard, and let us take care of you for a change.”

She was bare to the waist by the time the lift arrived on her deck and they herded her into the cabin. Garrus knelt to untie her boots as Adrien’s talons drifted lightly over her spine. He tugged her back so that she was against his chest as he rested against the headboard and Garrus stripped her pants away. She found herself completely naked between two very dressed and very intent turians. Her breath caught at the predatory look in their eyes and she was surprised to see Adrien’s hand come to rest on Garrus’ fringe as her mate’s head dipped between her legs. He groaned as Victus’ talons skated along the underside of his fringe and she felt the vibrations in her core. 

Within moments, Garrus’ skilled ministrations had her writhing against him and she reached up to lock a hand on Adrien’s collarbone for leverage. Victus’ hand on her hip stilled her and she cried out as Garrus’ tongue curled inside of her. He pulled her forward and she felt Adrien move behind her as he removed his clothing. When he was undressed, he gathered her to him again and his finger replaced Garrus’ tongue so that he could remove his armor. She watched through heavy-lidded eyes as her mate stripped down. His eyes glittered with desire as he watched Victus pleasure her and she realized that he was already out of his plates. 

She felt Victus slide against her and his hands on her inner thighs drew her legs apart so that she was exposed to Garrus’ hungry gaze. She gasped as Adrien pushed into her and began to move her slowly. Garrus stalked his way up the bed and she felt his tongue flick over her center. “Oh, fuck,” she groaned and saw Garrus grin before he began lapping at her in earnest. His tongue curled around Victus and the Primarch bucked beneath her as he hissed in a breath. Adrien’s hands came up to cup her breasts as Garrus took control of her hips and began to move her on the other man’s cock. Heat exploded inside of her and she dug her heels into the mattress for purchase but Garrus maintained his steady rhythm as he tasted them both. 

Their hands on her kept her pinned between them and she was helpless to do more than simply experience the sensations they created within her. This loss of control was foreign to her and she attempted to regain it by twining her fingers in Garrus’ fringe. She might not be able to control the Primarch, but she could certainly control her mate. To her surprise, however, he growled a warning and glared up at her as he nipped her clit with his stiff lips. “You are not in charge tonight, Shepard,” Victus purred in her ear as he lightly pinched her nipples. 

“Please,” she whispered helplessly and Victus thrust sharply into her, drawing a strangled cry from her throat. Garrus raised a brow plate and she felt his talons drag across the tops of her thighs. She bucked in their grasp and moaned. Garrus chuckled and turned his head to place his teeth over her thigh. He was careful to avoid the major blood vessels that ran through as he pierced her skin and lapped at the wound before it closed and he returned his attention to her center. Victus’ talons drew over her breasts and she felt his teeth close over her shoulder. The sounds coming from her lovers were feral and raw and acutely reminded her that she was a very soft human caught between two very hard predators. That she was capable of defending herself and that they would never truly hurt her was irrelevant. She felt like prey and it was intoxicating.

Garrus licked her boldly as Victus scraped his talons along the underside of her breasts and bit down on the ball of her shoulder. Her orgasm slammed into her and she convulsed hard around him as she called their names. They gave her no time to recover before Garrus was turning her without removing her from Victus so that she straddled the other turian. He said something about flexibility as he reached into the nightstand and returned with a bottle of clear liquid. Her eyes widened as she realized his intent and forced herself to relax. Victus slowed as Garrus drew a thick, wet finger along the line of her ass before circling her opening. 

He pressed slowly into her, giving her time to adjust between knuckles, until his finger was seated in her ass. She shuddered with pleasure and he began to move in time with Victus, drawing his finger along the length of the other turian inside of her, stroking them both. Victus groaned and reached for him. Shepard felt Garrus’ chest press against her back as he leaned forward and nipped lightly at Victus’ mandible. Adrien’s hand held the back of Garrus’ neck and she felt her mate purr as the other man stroked the sensitive hide at the base of his fringe. She realized that Garrus’ other hand was braced on Victus’ hip and his thumb was stroking the Primarch’s waist. 

He drew back after a long moment and withdrew his finger before replacing it with his cock. She gasped as her body stretched to accommodate him and he turned his attention to her. He kissed her deeply and stroked her hair as he pushed relentlessly into her. He loved her ass and had joined with her this way more than once but never with another already inside. She felt fuller than she’d ever experienced and wondered for a moment if she was going to be able to take both of them. They weren’t giving her a choice in the matter and the utter lack of control as Victus nipped her throat and they began to move together was exhilarating. 

Their focus shifted to include each other and she found that she enjoyed the sight of them exploring the other’s body as they fucked her. Her teeth closed over Victus’ collarbone and she reached back to stroke the soft skin behind Garrus’ spur. Garrus thrust harder into her and Adrien matched his new pace, driving all thought from her mind as they rode her. She tightened around them and held them deep as she rode her release. Adrien pulled out of her with a snarl and adjusted them so that she was on her knees below Garrus. Victus moved behind her mate and she heard Garrus groan. His teeth closed over her shoulder and his breathing grew heavier. A moment later, he was pressing deeper into her and she felt Adrien’s hand on her hip and looked down to see the other on Garrus’. 

Garrus’ eyes were glazed when she looked back at him and his expression was one of slack-jawed bliss. She moved experimentally and he gasped. Her eyes caught Adrien’s and they gave each other a conspiratorial grin as she tugged Garrus’ head down. “We are going to make you beg,” she promised him. 

“Spirits, Shepard,” he gasped and flexed his talons on her hip as Victus drove into him with more confidence and she rolled her hips to take him deeper. Turians were longer than human males and it generally took some effort for him to hilt in her from the front. Here, though, he didn’t have to worry about hurting her or stretching her too far. He clearly liked the addition of Adrien, as well, because his steady focus was gone and he seemed to be just as lost to sensation as she had been before. 

His subvocals went haywire as they drove him up and Shepard lost count of the talon marks over her torso and hips. She almost lost her own focus when he bit down on her bond mark and slid a finger into her but forced her attention back to him. This was about his pleasure, not hers. Behind them, Victus pounded harder into Garrus, driving him into her and controlling his movements. She felt like she was being fucked by Adrien through Garrus and when she pushed him back into the older turian, she heard Victus groan and felt his hand tangle in her hair.

“Oh, spirits, Shepard. Adrien. Shepard!” Garrus groaned loudly as his body tensed. “Please. Please don’t stop. For the love of Palaven, don’t stop.”

“Come in my ass, Garrus,” she ordered. He obeyed with a snarling growl and buried himself in her. 

Victus didn’t stop until Garrus was limp between them. He withdrew and pulled Garrus out of her before taking her mate’s place and scraping his teeth over her shoulder. “Now,” he said, “I believe the purpose of this was to wear you out until you had no choice but to sleep. You do not look exhausted, Commander. We are going to have to change that.”

“Don’t wait for me,” Garrus mumbled. “I’m gonna need a minute after that.”

“I wasn’t planning to,” Victus said and she felt him press against her ass. He used Garrus’ slickness as lubrication and slid into her easier than she would have expected given his greater girth. She cried out and arched against him as he circled a finger around her clit and slipped it inside of her. Garrus rolled off of the bed and she heard the water begin to run in the head but couldn’t focus enough to do more than acknowledge it. Adrien said in a low voice, “I want you, Shepard. I want to make you lose control. I want to hear you scream my name.”

Garrus returned and the bed dipped as he joined them. Victus lifted her effortlessly and settled her onto him in a reversal of their earlier positions. Garrus angled his hips so that his plates brushed over her clit and they rubbed against each other with only the separation of the thin wall in her body. Garrus kissed her as he thrust into her and Victus held her hair and licked the back of her neck. She rocked between them and they let her move just enough to be an active participant but when her breath grew shallow and ragged and her own pleas left her lips, Victus said, “No, Shepard.” She was stunned into stillness and looked at him incredulously. He grinned ferally and said, “You heard me. I said no.”

She gave her own growl of frustration and his hands clamped over her hips, stilling her efforts to seek her release against Garrus. Her mate shrugged with a sadistic twinkle in his eye and said, “He is the Primarch.”

“I hate you both,” she gasped.

“Liar,” Adrien charged, pushing into her. 

“Oh, fuck,” she moaned. “I’m so close. Harder.”

“No,” he repeated. 

“This is _not_ going to make me any more able to rest!” she insisted. 

“No,” he agreed, “but the orgasm you have when I do decide to let you come will.”

She dropped her head onto Garrus’ chest in defeat as her body screamed for release. Garrus said in a falsely sympathetic tone, “Poor Shepard. Maybe if you begged…”

“Fuck you,” she snarled.

“I am,” he said and thrust deeper into her, drawing a sharp gasp as he brought her even closer to the edge. She felt as though she were riding a sharp precipice and wanting to fall. Her nails dug into Garrus’ hide and her teeth locked onto one of the plates on his chest. She heard whimpering mewls leaving her throat that didn’t even sound like her own voice. They showed their own teamwork as they teased her without mercy, driving her closer to the edge and pulling back just before she went over until the only thing in her head was the need screaming in her veins. “Please just _fuck_ me already!” she finally shouted.

Victus hummed consideringly and then bit down hard on her shoulder as Garrus stroked his thumb over her clit. Her orgasm ripped through her, greying out her vision and leaving her gasping for air. Victus tensed and she felt his hot seed spurt into her before Garrus followed them over the edge. They lay tangled in a heap of boneless limbs and heaving chests. That night, the three of them slept together and their arms were around each other as well as her. For once, the dreams did not come.


	14. Chapter 14

Adrien studied the holographic display of the battlefield on the planet far below. He couldn’t shake the feeling of utter wrongness in being safely ensconced aboard the _Normandy_ while his lovers risked their lives below. Adrien was beginning to regret the demand for krogan aid but Primarch Victus knew that it was necessary if Palaven was to survive. He had underestimated the depth of Urdnot Wrex’ obsession and manipulation. The krogan leader was still insistent upon reaching the Shroud even after the ground forces had been held up, forcing Artimec Wing to engage the Reaper alone and causing heavy losses to the turian air support, and even after all but one of the krogan trucks had been decimated by the thresher maw. Now they were talking about sending the maw after the Reaper and even he could hear the doubt in Shepard’s voice as she considered their predicament. As bad as it looked up here, he knew it must be much worse down there. 

They were planning to summon a _thresher maw_ to kill a _Reaper_. Shepard and Garrus, along with Liara, were going to deliberately call a thresher maw to their location. The same location that just happened to have the Reaper that had taken out half of his fighters in moments. The same location where they were on foot. It was the most insane plan that he had ever heard and he’d garnered a reputation for coming up with insane plans. The hell of it was, he couldn’t think of a better one. The trucks were gone. Half the fighters were down and most of the rest were damaged. He had a handful of fighters, Shepard, Vakarian, Liara, and Wrex against a spirits-damned Reaper. 

He listened, feeling helpless, as the team approached the Shroud facility. The salarian gave regular reports on his progress with Eve but Adrien registered them only peripherally. The cure didn’t matter. Shepard wasn’t going to deploy it now anyway. He’d heard Eve ask her if something was bothering her and had heard her hedge the question. He wondered if she’d even told Garrus of her plan or if he was the only one privy to it. He couldn’t imagine her hiding something like that from her mate but he also suspected that Garrus knew her well enough to suspect that something was going on. He would support her without question. 

When he heard their shouts over the comms and Garrus’ breathless inquiry as to whether they’d just been shot by a Reaper, he was only marginally reassured by Shepard’s cocky, “Consider it practice.” He activated the comm link with his men. “All remaining fighters, engage the Reaper,” he ordered. “Distract it from the ground team. Give them time to activate the hammers.” They were going to get slaughtered if he didn’t do anything. The roar of the machine and the sounds of explosions and Garrus’ and Liara’s almost frantic voices rang in his auditory canals. Fear didn’t begin to describe what he was feeling.

“Understood, sir,” came the immediate reply. 

Time stretched and contorted as he listened to the battle raging on the barren planet. After what felt like an eternity, he heard Shepard order the others back to the truck. His relief over Garrus’ impending safety was overshadowed by his worry for Shepard and he tapped into the vid feed on her visor. The images were shaky as she ran to get out of the way of the clashing titans overhead but she found a relatively safe position and it steadied so that he could see what she saw. The thresher maw was larger than any he had ever seen and it attacked the Reaper with mindless ferocity. He watched in stunned amazement as it curled its enormous body around the Reaper and dragged it down into the Tuchankan sand. So great was his astonishment that he barely acknowledged Garrus’ notification that they’d reached the trucks or even Shepard’s victorious shout.

His hand hovered over the command to cut the feed but something made him hesitate. There was a tone in the salarian’s voice as the doctor ordered Eve to get to safety with the others that made him doubt that this was going to go as easily as Shepard had anticipated. She’d been counting on Mordin’s constant support of his work on the genophage and his loyalty to his people to guarantee his willing assistance. The voice of experience told him that the parameters had changed and Shepard was unaware of the shift. He wanted to warn her but it was too late. She was already laying out the plan to the doctor and meeting resistance. He listened as she all but pleaded with the salarian to step aside and winced at the accusations Mordin threw at her in a voice that hissed of betrayal. She had gone too far to turn back now. If she let him go, he would salvage the cure and they would lose his people. He would also reveal her deception to Wrex and the krogan alliance would shatter. He was unsurprised when the shot rang out and also by the world of pain in her terse, “ _Damn_ it. Damn it. Fucking seashells. God _damn_ it.”

She swept into the war room an hour later with a concerned Garrus by her side. Without sparing a glance for either of them, she went into the comm room and he heard Admiral Hackett’s gravelly voice filter through the room. If he listened closely, he’d found that he could hear most of what was said in there but had stopped attempting to listen in when their relationship had shifted from colleagues to lovers. He’d learned his lesson about keeping vital information from her with Tarquin and she shared intel openly. She’d meant it when she’d said that they had to stand together. The lines between their species had blurred in much the same way that human lines of nationalities had done when they’d discovered that they were not alone in the universe. The humans had formed the Alliance then and were extending that ideal to the rest of the galaxy now. 

He turned to Garrus and, after ensuring that they were alone in the war room, drew the other turian to him. Garrus surprised him by placing his forehead against Adrien’s and giving a shuddering sigh. “Are you all right?” Victus asked. “Were you wounded?”

“I’m fine,” Garrus assured him. “Remind me not to agree to any more plans formulated by krogan. That was too damn close. You heard about Mordin?”

“I heard,” Adrien said.

“Do you know what the hell happened?” he asked. “She went in there with him and came out alone and I don’t like the look in her eyes. I’m afraid…she didn’t…what do you know?”

Adrien shook his head and said, “I can’t tell you. She needs to do it herself.”

“She killed him, didn’t she?” Garrus asked. “It’s not just grief over losing a friend. There’s guilt there, too. She would barely look me in the eye. Why would she…? She…damn this war.”

“On that we can agree,” Adrien said and stepped back. “Speaking of war, we have decisions to make. We have ships in dry dock that can help with the Crucible. I want you coordinating them. Once we have krogan boots on Palaven, I will send a fleet to Earth. You will be the liaison for them as well. The humans trust you and you know their operations.”

“Yes, sir,” Garrus answered as Adrien had known he would. “Will you return to Palaven?”

“That…remains to be seen,” he answered carefully. “I need to go to the Citadel and speak with Sparatus regarding the refugee situation. We must have somewhere to send our wounded and the Citadel will not be able to support our numbers for long.”

He heard Shepard sign off and she came into the room with a heavy tread that bespoke her utter exhaustion and heartache. He saw the shades of guilt over her eyes that layered with pain and doubt to cast a weariness to her features that had not been present even just that morning when the shuttle had left bearing twice the number that had returned. Their talk would have to wait. She was in no shape for it now. 

He told her of his plans for Garrus and she nodded with something akin to relief. He realized that she’d been afraid that he would take Vakarian with him but prepared to accept the decision if that had been his choice. She knew how important Garrus was to the turian war effort and wouldn’t try to keep him if he was needed elsewhere. However, he knew how important Garrus was to her efforts and, without her, it all would crumble. As much as he wanted to fight beside her, he knew that Garrus was the better man for the job. Garrus could advise him remotely. No one else could fill his role at her six. He wouldn’t take him from her.

She said, “I heard Garrus ask you about your plans.”

“We don’t need to worry about that right now, Shepard,” he said gently. “For the moment, I am not leaving. We have time to discuss this once you’re rested.”

“Speaking of which,” Garrus said, “you should get some sleep. Last night and the few hours a night you’ve been getting aren’t enough.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” she said tersely.

Adrien was about to counter when Garrus placed a hand on her back and said soothingly, “We both know you need a clear head to win a war. Get some shut-eye. I’ll make sure Joker doesn’t launch any more suicide missions.”

It was the perfect combination of logic and humor and she leaned into his touch before nodding. “If anything happens, you let me know.”

“Do you want to be alone, Shepard?” Victus asked.

“No,” she answered baldly.

“Go with her,” Garrus said. “I can handle the deck for a few hours. Do you want to head to the Citadel or do you have somewhere else in mind?”

“Citadel,” Shepard answered. “Valern wants to talk to me about Udina and I’m hoping that I can talk Tevos into throwing in with us now that the salarians are on board.”

“Bed first,” Victus said, taking her by the elbow. This time, Traynor didn’t even spare them a glance as they went by. Either the crew assumed that they were holding meetings in her quarters for privacy or had decided that what Shepard did on the rare occasions when she was off duty was none of their business. He didn’t particularly care which it was as long as they continued to be loyal to her.

The laces of her boots threatened to stymie him but he recalled the way that Garrus had untucked the bows from the tops and unwrapped the cords from around them before loosening them and figured it out without assistance. It was good that he did because she was completely listless and didn’t seem to care if she kept them on or not. He stripped her out of the uniform which had stiffened with dried sweat and blood and was surprised when she didn’t protest him carrying her to the head to shower. EDI adjusted the water temperature to her normal setting, which was hot enough for a turian, and he set her under the spray. She didn’t move on her own but allowed him to rinse off the grime that coated skin that was far too pale. 

He’d never washed a human before and knew nothing of their bathing rituals but the bottles on the shelf gave instructions and he did his best to clean her skin and bathe the wounds. She winced slightly when he massaged the shampoo into her scalp and he thought for a moment that he’d been too rough but then noticed the long scrape along the skin beneath her hair. It wasn’t terribly deep but he made a note to apply medigel to it when he was finished. “What happened here?” he asked.

“Reaper,” she said.

“Shrapnel?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “Reaper.”

“That isn’t a burn, Shepard,” he said. 

“Its…foot, I guess,” she clarified emotionlessly. “I was trying to outrun a brute and was leaning forward. The Reaper almost stepped on me. Caught my head. There were too many brutes to fight with the Reaper stomping around. I had to leave them to Garrus and Liara and get the hammers down.”

“And this?” he asked, running his hand over her shoulder. It had begun to change colors and was a livid shade of violet.

“Landed on it when the Reaper shot us,” she said in that same dead voice. “Why don’t you just ask what you want to ask and get it over with?”

“Did you kill him?” he asked. 

“Yes,” she answered and her face crumpled. Her knees gave way and she sank down to the floor. He followed her down and pulled her into his arms. Her body shook and he tightened his grip. If she were turian, he’d bite her fringe to comfort her but he didn’t think that would work. Instead, he stroked her hair, careful to avoid the wound on her scalp, and crooned wordlessly. “I’m a monster,” she said.

“You are not a monster, Shepard,” he told her. “War doesn’t always give us the easy way out. There isn’t a single one of us who will not be forced to make a hard call that will cost the life of someone we wish to save. I recognized Dr. Solus’ change of heart too late to warn you. You had no other option at that point that would not have doomed the war effort. Had you realized that he would refuse, would you have continued in your plan to sabotage the cure?”

“I don’t know. We need the salarians.” She looked up at him and her eyes were red-rimmed and hard. “I bought two armies for the price of a friend. The strategist in me says that it was a fair exchange. The person says that I sold my soul as well. It may be war but that doesn’t change the fact that it was murder. He was my friend and I murdered him.”

“The commander makes the decisions and the woman is forced to live with the consequences,” he said. “I understand this all too well. The man in me regrets the demand for krogan aid while the Primarch knows that it was necessary. Still, I am sorry that I had to put you in this position.”

“It isn’t your fault,” she said, looking down at her hands as if she expected to see blood on them. It would become a habit from that point on and one that would continue to worry him. She muttered, “Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.”

“What is that?” he asked.

“Macbeth,” she answered. “You’ve seen the elcor version of Hamlet? Same playwright. Lady Macbeth convinced her husband to kill the king of Scotland. Her guilt over the murder ends up driving her insane. She’s sleepwalking and she imagines a spot of the king's blood stains her hand. It…seems appropriate.”

“Come,” he said and turned off the water. 

He found a towel and dried her. She was more lucid now and took the cloth from him to wrap it around herself but stopped in the center of the cabin as if unsure of what to do. Adrien lifted her and carried her to the bed where he applied medigel to her wounds. She curled into him without hesitation when he laid beside her but her eyes did not close. Instead, she stared up at the stars and said, “Garrus won’t approve.”

“He won’t like it,” Adrien said. “He was fond of the doctor. But he will understand.”

“He suspects,” she said. “And he isn’t here.”

Victus threaded his fingers through her drying hair and said, “Because he knows that I know and that you need time before you can discuss it. Sending me with you was not judgment. It was sensitivity. Really, Shepard, I would have thought that you’d know by now that there is nothing you can do that would drive him away.”

“And you?” she asked.

He didn’t know how to answer that. He knew what he wanted to say. _I’m not going anywhere._ He couldn’t do that, though. He couldn’t make a promise to her that he knew he could not keep. Duty’s talons wrapped around him as surely and painfully as the concertina wire the humans favored. It always had. He was a Victus. Duty and responsibility were their mantra even more so than most turians. The fact that he was now Primarch of all Palaven simply added to the weight of it. He could no more promise to remain by her side than he could wave a hand and end the war. He settled instead for what he could promise. “My feelings for you are not contingent upon anything but your acceptance.”

She settled deeper into his arms and he felt the hot drip of human mourning land on his chest. He tapped out a message on his omni-tool and, a few minutes later, the bed dipped as another’s weight was added to it. A second set of arms came around them and Garrus nuzzled her hair. Surrounded and guarded by them, Shepard finally gave in to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

The Cerberus coup on the Citadel delayed their discussion. Shepard insisted upon going to the hospital alone to say goodbye to Thane. Garrus wanted to be there for his friend but didn’t want to intrude. Instead, he went to C-Sec to see if Bailey had found any new information. Victus was coming out of Councilor Sparatus’ office as Garrus left C-Sec HQ and they walked together to one of the large windows overlooking the Presidium. “How was your meeting?” he asked.

Victus sighed. “It went as well as can be expected. The shortages of everything are getting worse by the day. Food and medicine will soon become the new currency. Medigel is being used up faster than it can be produced and many of our farming colonies have been lost so dextro rations are becoming scarce. It would be helpful if we could find the quarians. They have been farming on their ships for centuries and could aid us in setting up facilities to do so ourselves. The last shipment of nutrigel packets that went out to our soldiers was levo. It will make them feel less hungry but will not keep them alive.”

“Liara is trying to locate the Migrant Fleet,” Garrus said. “If we can find them, I’m certain Tali will do everything she can to convince them to help, at least with the food issue.”

Victus nodded. “The Council has agreed to accept more of our wounded but they are running out of room for refugees. They’re now putting out requests for citizens to take the able-bodied into their homes. C-Sec is attempting to run background checks on those coming in but they are stretched thin. All it will take is for one refugee to turn on his or her host family and they will all be back out on the streets or in the docks again.”

“I think you should seriously consider Shepard’s offer to use the _Normandy_ as a mobile command center. The Alliance intended that for their own people with their retrofits and it could easily serve for you as well. If you return to Palaven, you will be constantly on the move in an attempt to stay one step ahead of the Reapers. We’ll be moving, too, but you won’t be forced to pack up and relocate every time the situation changes. You can coordinate from anywhere in the galaxy,” Garrus said.

“Our people need to see me, Garrus,” Adrien said heavily. “I cannot ask them to follow me if they believe that I am hiding aboard a starship and am unwilling to lead them.”

“You can’t afford to be on the ground, Primarch,” Garrus said. “I know that’s where you want to be but if we lose you, then someone else is going to have to take the time to figure it out and they might not be as open to working with the krogan or the humans as you are and they very likely would not be as clever as you are. You are precisely the person we need leading us. No one will believe you’re hiding. They don’t think that of Sparatus and they won’t think it of you, especially when they see you aboard the _Normandy_ working to secure more aid and build alliances alongside Shepard. The _Normandy_ is as much a legend as she is. 

“We make regular stops on the Citadel so you can meet with the Council without having to take a ship away from the fleet. We can get to places no other ship can without being detected. Everyone who is anyone in the galaxy is going to be working with Shepard. That will allow you to meet with them in person, which is much more effective than the QEC. I’m not just saying this because I want you with us. I think it’s an opportunity you can’t afford to pass up.”

“I am considering it, Garrus,” he said. 

Before Garrus could respond, his omni-tool pinged. He read the message and then looked up at Adrien. “That was Aria T’Loak. She told me to come get Shepard.”

“Why is Aria T’Loak messaging you about Shepard?” Adrien asked as they walked swiftly to the elevator. 

“They’re…I don’t know if I would call them friends, exactly, but I think Shepard is as close to a friend as Aria gets. We got to know her during the Collector mission. Shepard helped her out with some things. Aria respects her and they understand each other. It’s complicated,” Garrus said. 

They went into Purgatory together and found Shepard passed out on the couch beside Aria. The asari had an arm thrown across the back of the couch above her but, rather than appearing negligent, her posture was unmistakably protective. Victus hummed a note as Garrus lifted Shepard from the couch. Aria said casually, “Your friend’s dead. She’s…upset.”

“Thanks, Aria,” Garrus said even as he registered the pain of losing yet another friend. 

The displaced queen shrugged and looked away as she said, “We can’t have the savior of the galaxy passed out on a barroom floor, now, can we? Besides, I still need her. She is going to give Omega back to me.”

Garrus stilled and looked down at the asari. “Was she drunk or sober when she agreed to that?”

“Sober,” Aria said. “She recognizes the need for a stronghold in the Terminus Systems and wants to strike back at Cerberus as much as I do. You won’t be joining us, though. Archangel did enough damage to my station. It seems you inspired some of the locals. There was a new mercenary group working on the station. Started out as just another merc band but it seems a turnover in leadership occurred and now they’re a bunch of do-gooders just like you were. The last thing I need is you joining up with them. Don’t worry. I’ll keep your girlfriend safe. She’s no good to me dead and neither is Omega if the Reapers destroy the galaxy.”

“And what are you going to do for her in exchange for returning your kingdom?” Garrus asked.

“Anything she needs,” Aria said seriously. “Guns, soldiers, ships, stims, resources, mechs. Dextro food. We grow our own, you know. Not many farming colonies that far out in the Terminus. Additionally, we’ll cut off Cerberus’ access to the Omega 4 relay and the nastiness that lies behind it. I am well aware that I will never stop owing her and that’s fine. The only thing I want is Omega and she doesn’t. She’s also too honorable to hold it over my head. If I have to owe anyone, she’s the one. Now, get her out of here and take care of her, damn it.”

Garrus carried her out of the bar and when they were in the elevator once more, Victus said, “T’Loak is in love with her.”

“I don’t think Aria knows how to love,” Garrus said. “She’s something, though. Damned if I understand it.”

Shepard roused as they reached the docks and insisted on walking. Garrus knew she was right. It wouldn’t do for people to see her being carried back to her ship. Rumors would fly and al-Jilani was all too eager to drag Shepard’s name through the dirt. He and Victus hung back and leaned against the railing as she dealt with Kaidan at the airlock. He wasn’t surprised when she sent the biotic away. Shepard didn’t forgive others any better than she forgave herself. Kaidan was lucky she hadn’t just shot him and been done with it. Asking to rejoin the crew was too much. 

“Is there anyone who _isn’t_ in love with her?” Adrien asked, watching Kaidan look longingly back at her as he left.

Garrus hummed and considered the question. It was a good one. “Dr. Chakwas. Miranda. Jack. Grunt. Wrex, though I’m fairly certain he’s the one who put in the breeding request for her after Grunt’s rite of passage. Jacob. The Council.”

“Tevos and Valern, perhaps,” Adrien said. “Sparatus is singing her praises now, too. Even Corinthus can’t resist asking about her when we speak.”

Garrus filed that away and continued, “The Reapers. Her enemies. Thane’s kid. She punched him in the face. Nyxis.”

“Nyxis hates any female you pay attention to,” Adrien said with a laugh. He grew serious. “I think that’s how she does what she does. Shepard makes people love her without even trying.”

“Yeah,” Garrus agreed. “She does.”

“You do, too,” Adrien said. 

“Nah,” Garrus said dismissively. “I tend to piss people off. You, Shepard, and the _Normandy_ crew are the only people who willingly put up with me.” 

His thoughts turned to his dad and his sister before he realized what Adrien had really said. When he caught it, he stared at Victus in shock. The Primarch of Palaven was in love…with him? He’d known Victus had fallen for Shepard. As Adrien had pointed out, most people did. He was a different story, though. He’d thought that their activities on Menae and the time on the ship with Shepard had just been two soldiers blowing off steam together. He hadn’t realized there was something more there. He thought back to the last night on Menae and knew then that he should have. 

Chagrin washed over him at the realization that he had been using the Primarch when the other man genuinely cared about him. Garrus liked and respected him, was proud to call him both leader and friend, and he could no longer deny that there was attraction there. However, he had never given thought to truly loving or bonding to another man. It was just physical. Right? “Adrien, I—”

“It’s all right, Garrus,” the Primarch said. “I know.”

Later, Garrus sat beside Shepard with his arm around her. His talons drifted over the ball of her shoulder as he considered what he’d learned. Shepard’s fingers absently traced his thigh as she, too, was lost in her own thoughts. He knew those thoughts were of Thane. She was tired of adding the names of her friends to the memorial wall. Garrus wasn’t unaffected by Thane’s death but he also knew the drell had gone out the way he’d wanted to. Thane had finally lived up to the potential that his wife had seen in him and he had died defending both a stranger and the woman he’d called Siha even when he’d known that she would never be his. 

Shepard had named Thane among her closest friends and the assassin had come to rival even Liara for her confidence and affection but she had not been in love with him. Garrus was glad for that only because, selfishly, he doubted he would have had a chance with her otherwise and, for her sake, that she was mourning the death of a friend rather than a lover. He did not want to imagine what Shepard would be if the light inside of her went out and as much as it dimmed when she lost a friend, he knew that it would die completely if she lost a piece of her heart that vital. As it was, Thane’s death was the hardest blow she’d suffered thus far even if she had known that it would come sooner than she wished.

He tightened his hold on her and brushed his lips over her hair. He hated knowing that people he cared about were in pain and that there was nothing he could do to help it. He hated Shepard’s pain and he hated the knowledge that he had caused Adrien pain as well. He had never intended to hurt the Primarch and the fact that he had not seen the man’s feelings toward him shifting because he’d assumed that they were all directed toward Shepard did not absolve him.

“What are you thinking?” Shepard asked. “You’re light years away.”

“I think I hurt Adrien,” Garrus admitted, staring down at the skycars flying below them. “When I said he cared about us, I didn’t realize how deep his feelings for me ran. I thought they were all for you.”

“He loves you, Garrus,” she said. “But he knows this is new territory for you. He’s willing to wait and give you a chance to decide what you want without pressure.”

“And what do you want?” he asked.

She looked down at her hands and said, “I care about him, Garrus. I might even love him. I don’t know yet. I’ve never considered being with two people. I still feel somewhat guilty or like you’re going to resent me over it or…I don’t know. I don’t want anything to come between you and me. You are…everything to me, Garrus Vakarian. I couldn’t do any of this without you. I’m not _me_ without you.”

Garrus’ fingers brushed over the storage compartment on his thigh. He had been imagining this moment for what felt like years and had been planning it since she’d confirmed that she still loved him. He had hesitated because of her insistence that she couldn’t make promises because of the war but he’d decided that he didn’t care about the war. They could both die tomorrow or they could survive this and die old in their beds. It didn’t matter. His feelings for her weren’t going to change and, as he’d told the Primarch, Shepard only knew wide open or full stop and she didn’t change her mind once she committed to something. Shepard didn’t stop loving even if some other humans did. 

He wanted the galaxy to know what they were to each other. He just didn’t know if this was the right time. With the coup and Thane’s death and Mordin’s death and Adrien’s involvement, he simply wasn’t certain what the protocols were. From what he’d read, this was supposed to be perfect as far as timing and scenery and delivery and spirits knew his delivery was doomed to be awkward. The scenery was just right but nothing else had worked out the way he’d hoped. 

On the other hand, there was never going to be a right time until this war was over and then it might be too late. People they cared about were going to keep dying. Things would keep getting more and more complicated. Perhaps he should stop trying to look for some arbitrary perfect moment and take advantage of the one that was in front of him. Right here, right now, the sun was warm on his plates, the breeze was stirring Shepard’s hair and making it dance in the light, she was beside him, and she loved him. In his book, that _was_ perfection. 

With the decision made, he opened the compartment and drew out the small box he’d picked up the last time they were on the Citadel. He hoped he’d gotten it right. Humans and turians had very different traditions for this. He had already indulged his. She wore his mark and he wore hers. Every turian they met knew that he was bonded to her. Humans, however, did not. He wanted to make the statement in both of their languages to both of their people. 

“What’s that?” Shepard asked, seeing the box in his hand.

He was supposed to kneel. He didn’t know why humans did that but it was in all of the images and the vids he’d watched. She turned to give him a curious look as he drew his legs up and slid back from the edge. One of her eyebrows raised as he maneuvered himself into position. Turians didn’t kneel and he hoped that he didn’t look too awkward. He held out the box to her in a hand that shook from nerves. He could face down a charging brute without tightening his plates but this had him terrified. 

He took a deep breath and said, “Shepard, I know you said we couldn’t promise anything with this war. It occurred to me that you’re a Spectre and I’m a soldier and if we wait for peace or for a guarantee to make promises, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives. I love you. That is never going to change. I know we can’t promise forever but I want to spend the rest of whatever forever I have with you.”

She reached out and opened the box and brought a hand up to her lips before looking up at him again. “Garrus, are you…are you asking me to marry you?”

“Yeah, Shepard,” he said, feeling his gullet tighten. “I am.” Spirits, he hoped he wasn’t blowing this.

Her face broke into a broad smile that took his breath away and she threw herself into his arms, knocking him onto his back. She laughed, really, joyfully laughed and he thought it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard until she said, “Yes, Garrus Vakarian. I will marry you,” and he knew that _that_ was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard. He heaved a sigh of relief and wrapped his arms around her. 

“What do I do now?” he asked. “I, ah, always got so nervous about screwing up the asking part that I didn’t get this far.”

She kissed him and removed the ring from the box. He thought she was giving it back to him until she spread her hand and indicated one of her fingers. He slipped it on, silently thanking Liara for making sure it would fit right, and felt a surge of pride as she admired it with a wide grin. “It’s beautiful. I love it. I love _you_.”

“I know humans do gold,” he said, “but the metal is from my homeworld. I liked the symbolism of a stone found only on Earth supported by a metal found only on Palaven.”

“The metal is the same color as your clan markings,” she noted, still smiling. “You are what keeps me centered, Garrus. It’s absolutely perfect.”


	16. Chapter 16

Adrien looked up as Shepard strode quickly through the war room and went to the terminal of the command center. Her brow was furrowed and she looked frustrated. The ring Garrus had given her glittered in the light of the Crucible display. Adrien knew what it meant and was happy for them. He didn’t, however, know what had happened to break through the good mood she’d been in for the past day. It had been nice to see her truly happy for once and he resolved to do whatever he could to restore that feeling.

“Is something wrong, Shepard?” he asked.

She sighed heavily as she flipped through the terminal display. “I’m just gauging our assets,” she finally said. “I have an offer for more troops but getting them is proving to be more difficult than I’d anticipated. I was hoping we wouldn’t need them but we do. I just…don’t want to do what I have to in order to get them.”

“Perhaps I can offer another solution if you tell me what the problem is,” he suggested.

She rubbed her hands over her face and leaned a hip against the rail. “I don’t know if I can share this one, Primarch.”

“Trust me, Shepard,” he said softly, coming to place his hands on her shoulders. “Give me a chance. Have I let you down yet?”

“No,” she said. “Do you know General Oraka?”

“Septimus?” he asked, surprised. “Yes. What of him?”

“Shit,” she cursed. “Aria has promised me the merc groups from Omega but I have to do something for them before they’ll join me. Oraka is standing in my way on one of them and I can’t get him to move. I don’t want to be forced to move him but…I need those troops more than I need one retired general, Adrien.”

“He would move for me,” he said. “Septimus was my mentor. I am his Primarch. He may not like it but he will do what I ask. What do you need from him?”

“The Blue Suns have been harrying C-Sec weapons shipments. Oraka is causing problems for them and the Suns want him to stop. I understand his position. C-Sec needs their weapons. But I need the Blue Suns. He won’t stop. Darner Vosque wants him dead. Aria doesn’t care how I do it as long as I get him out of their way. I need another option.”

“I will speak with him, Shepard,” Adrien said. “Don’t call in a hit on him just yet.”

“Thank you, Adrien,” she said and placed her forehead on his keel. “I wish…just once I’d like to ask someone for help and get it without getting tangled in the strings.”

He found Septimus sitting on a bench in the Presidium Commons. His old friend looked up and gestured for Adrien to join him. They sat quietly for a few moments, watching the crowds pass by. The Commons still showed the aftereffects of the Cerberus coup attempt and, for the first time, the people of the Citadel seemed to realize that the galaxy was at war. 

“What can I do for you, _Primarch_?” Septimus eventually asked.

Adrien hummed in amusement and leaned back against the bench. “It is strange days when I am Primarch and your greatest worry is a lowly mercenary group.”

“Ah,” the general said. “You have been speaking with Commander Shepard.” He paused abruptly and Adrien heard him obviously sniff the air. “More than speaking, if my nose is to be believed. I never would have thought you would entangle yourself with a human. She is a beautiful one, is she not? I thought she was bonded to Castis’ son.”

“She is,” Adrien said. 

“Trias?” he asked.

“We are…considering it,” Adrien answered. 

“Hmm. I suppose you have come to speak with me about the Blue Suns then,” Oraka said. 

“We need a compromise,” Adrien told him. “The war effort needs every fighter it can get.”

“And we need all of the guns we can get,” Septimus pointed out. “The war will come here eventually and the station is more populated than ever. C-Sec is strained to its limits.”

“I understand that,” Adrien said. “I also know that Shepard is taking that into consideration and would not be making this request if she did not believe that it was necessary. Give me a compromise, Septimus.”

The general huffed and said, “Perhaps there is something we can do.”

Adrien returned to the ship an hour later with the compromise for Shepard. If she could secure a new source of weapons for C-Sec, Septimus would back off of the Blue Suns. Adrien was confident that she could do it. He was also sure that she could have figured out a way around Oraka even without him but it felt good to be able to do something to help her even if it did just come down to saving time for her so that she could focus on other issues. 

It was also nice to find a problem that could be solved with only a conversation, he reflected as he reviewed the new reports coming in. The krogan had arrived in force on Palaven and had already joined in the fighting. He hoped it would be enough to allow them to hold onto his planet until the Crucible was completed. He also hoped that he and Shepard had not signed Palaven’s death warrant with the deal with the Dalatrass and that Urdnot Wrex did not figure out their treachery. Shepard had instructed Liara to monitor the krogan leader’s communications in order to be prepared in the event that Wrex did learn the truth. She had also told him of her intention to find a new way to cure the genophage after the war was over if the krogan remained loyal. He didn’t know if she would be able to do that without Mordin Solus but if anyone could, it was her. 

Unfortunately, Urdnot Wrex was balking at cooperation with Corinthus. As much as he wished to remain on board the _Normandy_ , Adrien knew he was needed back on Palaven. He knew that Shepard and Vakarian wanted to keep him safe and that they felt that could be best done here. However, there was simply too much to coordinate and his presence was going to be required to get the turian-krogan alliance operating smoothly in light of the bad blood between the two species. He would have to go back, at least temporarily.

The Reapers had attacked Irune, the volus homeworld, and taken it. He made arrangements to have a joint turian-krogan task force sent to the planet in an attempt to retake it. He knew that he was most likely sending them to their deaths in a mission doomed to failure but the volus were a client race of the turians and his people were responsible for their protection. He was duty-bound to try. 

Shepard came into the war room with Garrus behind her and, upon seeing Adrien’s face, said, “It didn’t work, did it?” 

“It did,” he told her and explained the terms of the compromise. 

She listened and nodded. Garrus said, “You aren’t staying.”

“What?” Shepard asked. “You’re going back?”

“I must,” he said. “My people need me there.”

“ _I_ need…never mind,” she said, attempting to cover the slip. Their individual needs were irrelevant and she knew it. It was rare that she even admitted to having them and he had never before seen her even tempted to put her personal needs ahead of the greater good. It spoke volumes about her care for him and he was touched by it. “We can take you,” she said instead.

“No,” he said. “It is too risky and the _Normandy_ is needed elsewhere. There is a portion of one of our fleets returning to Palaven from the Citadel tomorrow. I will go with them. Garrus will stay here and coordinate our ships in dry dock for use on the Crucible.”

“Yes, sir,” Garrus said.

“Last night together, then,” Shepard said. “I guess it’s time we had that talk.”

“I agree,” Adrien said.

She motioned for them to follow her up to her cabin. When they entered, she drew a bottle of amino-neutral wine out and poured a trio of glasses. He didn’t know if she wanted the drink or if she was simply stalling for time. She appeared somewhat nervous and Garrus’ anxiety was apparent in both his subvocals and the way he shifted his feet while waiting for them to join him. Adrien hummed reassuringly and Garrus took a seat. Shepard sat between them and looked to him. “What do you want, Adrien?” she asked.

“Trias,” he answered without hesitation. “I want true trias.”

Shepard looked to Garrus, who explained, “You would call it a triad. Three people instead of two. Occasionally it is done in circumstances where a turian is bonded to both spouse and bondmate and they agree not to seek outside relationships. True trias is three partners bonded with all parties. In a way, it’s several relationships merged into one. You and I would continue to be together, you and he would be partners, and he and I would be partners, forming an overarching partnership. It is a form of monogamy but among three rather than two.”

“And what happens if one pair of us wants to terminate the relationship? How do we break up without it breaking all of us?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Garrus said. “It doesn’t happen among turians. We mate for life.”

Adrien said, “That is why I am not asking you for an answer right away, Shepard. I know that Garrus is not ready for such a commitment with me and that bonded human relationships are permanent by choice rather than design. I want you to think carefully about this and be certain that it is what _you_ want because we can walk away now with no harm done. However, once the commitment is made, ending it would be devastating and I am well aware that I am the party primarily at risk in requesting this but it is a risk for all of us. If the two of you accept, Garrus and I would remain bonded even if you chose to end your relationship with me. Insisting that he end it as well would be indescribably painful for both of us but allowing it to continue could jeopardize your relationship with him should you come to resent my presence. The worst-case scenario in this is that you walk away from both of us in the end.”

“I don’t walk away,” she said certainly. “But this is really different from anything in my experience. Humans don’t generally do this and we certainly don’t move this quickly. Marriage isn’t automatically tied to love with us. I do feel something for you, something strong. I don’t know if I’m ready to call it love, especially knowing what that means to you. Is there a…dating equivalent to this? A sort of trial period so that we can be sure it works?”

“That is what we are in now,” he told her. “If you wish to continue this way until you are certain of your feelings, I am amenable to that. It is not my intention to rush either of you. I have never had the desire to bond to anyone before and the idea of doing so with both a human and another male is as daunting to me as the entire idea must be to you. This is new territory for me as well. There is no harm in taking things slow. I simply want you to know where I stand as I do not know that we will see each other again and I cannot leave without knowing that you understand.”

Shepard said, “If Garrus is open to it, then I think…let’s just call it a relationship and leave it at that for now. I do wish you could stay with us.” 

“I’m open to it,” Garrus said, sounding somewhat relieved. 

It was as much as he could ask for now so, rather than push them for more, he simply nodded. He was surprised when it was Garrus and not Shepard who reached out and said, “Well, if this is our last night together, I guess we should make the most of it,” before nipping lightly at the underside of Adrien’s jaw. Shepard turned to face him and began to unfasten his tunic. His attempts to help disrobe them were brushed off and so he leaned back and allowed them to do what they wanted. 

It was novel being the focus of Shepard and Vakarian’s attention. They were both exceptional on their own. Together, though, it was apparent that their teamwork extended into all aspects of their lives. Their hands didn’t cross over or fumble around each other. They didn’t need direction. Shepard seemed more comfortable showing vulnerability with Garrus around and Vakarian seemed to draw confidence from her presence. Where the other turian had always been reserved when it was just the two of them, now Adrien saw the self-assuredness Garrus had with Shepard applied to him as well. 

They took their time in undressing him, enjoying each section of new hide and plates revealed by his clothing before removing more. Shepard’s mouth was open and hot on his throat as her fingers played between his plates. Garrus moved behind him to run his talons across Adrien’s fringe and nip at his collar. They surrounded him, leaving no question in his mind about his welcome. Their emotions might still be uncertain but they definitely desired him.

They moved to the bed where Garrus pushed Adrien onto his back and settled Shepard astride him. Adrien pulled her down to kiss her as Garrus trailed a hand over his waist and then bent to lick the seam of his shifting plates with bold strokes of his tongue. Shepard cried out into Adrien’s mouth as his fingers slipped into her, collecting her moisture and spreading it over her.

Shepard gasped when Adrien’s fingers pressed against her ass and pushed into her with a gentleness that conflicted with the sharp bite of his teeth on her shoulder and the firm strokes of Garrus’ tongue over her clit and Adrien’s emerged cock. Garrus looked up and said quietly, “Easy with her, sir. You can’t fuck her like that the way you would a turian or you’ll hurt her.” Adrien nodded acknowledgement of the instruction and cupped her face and kissed her again and she instructed her body to loosen. Garrus rumbled encouragingly and she felt his finger slide against her as he stroked Adrien’s cock and then guided him to her.

Shepard held herself still as he began to ease himself into her. He went slowly and allowed her body time to adjust to his greater girth. Garrus’ hand slipped between her legs and his fingers circled her clit, teasing her until she was moving her hips seekingly and moaning against Adrien’s throat. When Victus was seated inside of her, she felt Garrus press against her back and heard Adrien groan. The Primarch shifted his hips, lifting them, and Shepard felt Garrus begin to move. 

The sound that came from her throat was suspiciously like a whimper as she realized that Garrus was using his height to allow him to nip at the back of her neck while fucking the Primarch. She understood then what he’d meant by his warning as she felt him thrust hard, pushing her down further onto Adrien. The force he used would have injured her but from Adrien’s response, she presumed that it was enjoyable if not actually necessary in order for him to enter the other man’s body. “Spirits, Vakarian,” he groaned as Garrus hilted himself in his ass.

They remained still and allowed each other to adjust. She could feel Garrus’ rapid breathing and see the tightness in Adrien’s mandibles as he willed himself not to move when she rocked her hips experimentally. His moan was almost plaintive and she could see that he tried to bite it back until Garrus gripped his fringe and purred, “Don’t stop. Let us hear you.”

“Please!” he begged.

“Please what?” Garrus asked and nipped the side of his neck. “What do you want, Adrien?”

“Fuck me,” he panted as his talons scraped Shepard’s hips in an attempt to hold himself together. “Spirits, fuck me hard.”

They let out matching groans that sounded like snarls and Adrien claimed Shepard’s mouth again as Garrus’ teeth locked onto her shoulder. She and Garrus moved in tandem with the same ease with which they read and reacted to each other in the field and Adrien was quickly overwhelmed. It felt, simply, amazing and he surrendered to them, trusting them to carry him through.

When he tensed between them, Shepard bit the side of his throat and said, “Give it to us, Adrien. Come inside me.” Garrus’ teeth scraped over his collar and they increased their movements until he was pleading with them for mercy they didn’t give. He called out their names and they pressed deeper onto and into him as Garrus’ talons scraped his hip and his mouth clashed passionately with Shepard’s. Teeth and tongues flashed as they tasted each other and Shepard tightened around him and cried out her release. Her convulsions around him proved to be too much and he followed her over the edge with Garrus right behind them.

They withdrew carefully from each other and lay together in the aftermath, sated and complete. Shepard kissed his throat and Garrus nuzzled his forehead. “I love you, Shepard and Vakarian,” Adrien murmured. Shepard began to tremble slightly and buried her face in his throat as she clung to him. Garrus’ arms tightened around them and they held each other long into the night as all of them dreaded the morning when they would be forced to part.


	17. Chapter 17

“Commander Shepard,” Sam said, “Primarch Victus is available on the comm.”

Shepard stopped and did an about face. “Thank you. Get Garrus up here if he’s not busy, please.” 

They hadn’t spoken directly to Adrien since his return to Palaven. Comm buoys were down all over Trebian space, the few remaining comm towers went down often, and QECs were becoming harder to find in the field. Garrus communicated with him more often in his role as advisor but those were monitored and restricted to pure business. Shepard still envied them the ability to talk to each other even as she was glad that they did. They received personal text messages from him when they could all find both active comm towers and the buoys lined up and, usually, one of them finally relented and utilized the prioritized bandwidth reserved for her as a Spectre and for him as a dignitary. QEC calls, though, had yet to happen. 

His timing could not have been better. She was devastated after the loss on Thessia and was furious over Cerberus and Kai Leng. This was the lowest point in the war thus far and, while she was dreading telling him about it, she also needed to see his face. She activated the comm and his holo appeared. He looked tired and stressed but still whole and healthy. When he said, “Commander,” in a formal tone, she was afraid that it was a professional call rather than a personal one and responded with, “Primarch. What can I do for you?”

“Just stand there and let me look at you, Shepard,” he said with a smile that she returned.

“I’ve missed you, too, Adrien. How are things on Palaven? How are they really, I mean?” she asked.

“About the same as on Earth,” he answered. “The krogan are helping but…”

“You heard about Wrex,” she said flatly. “Adrien, I’m so sorry. I thought—”

“No,” he cut in. “It’s all right. Did you not see the reports?”

She shook her head. “It’s been a little hectic around here with the quarians and the geth and…Thessia.”

“Commander Bailey has reported that the altercation was the result of a ‘bet that didn’t pan out.’ The Broker ensured that his order to withdraw troops was corrupted. Your secret is safe,” he assured her. “That is not the reason for my call, though. Are you safe? This has been a difficult time for you. I heard Thessia had fallen and you were there. What happened?”

She sighed and leaned against the rail with her head down. She had to tell him. “Cerberus happened,” she said. “Kai Leng, the bastard who killed Thane, he…he beat us. It wasn’t the Reapers. We were able to get past them. The asari took heavy losses getting us to that temple and then Kai Leng just walked in and took the VI we found. Adrien, we don’t know how to complete the Crucible.”

“Spirits,” he sighed heavily. “Shepard, I…am sorry. Look at me, darling.”

She looked up and saw that he had knelt down so that he was closer to her level given the height of the display platform. She felt almost like he could reach out and touch her and she put her hand out. He lined his up with hers and they stared at the point of contact for a long moment, marveling that they could seemingly be so close while actually so many light years apart. “I’ve won every battle until now, Adrien. I’ve ended blood feuds millennia old and forged alliances between sworn enemies. And I’m still losing the war. We had _years_ to prepare and we are still losing.”

“Every war has its setbacks, Shepard,” he said. “Every leader loses battles. The mark of a good leader is not that she wins every engagement but that she gets back up and keeps fighting. You are a superior leader, love. You will fight again.”

“What’s the point?” she asked dully. “Without the Crucible…”

“You have the Crucible,” he said, “and the information on how to complete it is not lost. It is only misplaced. Cerberus will not destroy something so valuable. Find them and take it back.”

“I’m sick of running from them,” she said. “I’m sick of Cerberus being there every time I turn around. I’m sick of fighting a war on two fronts and being undermined by my own people. You’re right. It’s time to take the war to them.”

“That’s my girl,” he said approvingly. Behind her, Garrus cleared his throat and she waved him forward. He came to stand beside her and added his hand to hers where it still hovered over the holo image of Adrien’s. Adrien smiled as Garrus put his arm around Shepard’s shoulders. “There you are, Vakarian. You look well.”

Garrus shrugged and said, “I always look good. We miss you. I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a while now.”

“I would give my spurs to be back on the _Normandy_ with you both,” Adrien said vehemently. “I saw Castis and Solana a few days ago. Solana appears to be recovering from her injury and they are both as safe as anyone gets here. Castis was talking about sending Solana to the Citadel with the next supply run.”

“Good,” Garrus said. “Thank you.”

“I am afraid that not all of my news is good,” Adrien said. “We lost a quarian unit today and I believe you know one of them. Kal’Reegar? I thought I recognized the name from your story about Haestrom.”

Garrus and Shepard sighed in tandem and looked at each other. They nodded and Shepard said, “He and Tali were…more than close. This is going to devastate her. Thanks for letting us know.”

“He was a hero,” Adrien said, “and I can understand why you admired him so much with only one meeting. He was certainly dedicated.”

“That he was,” Garrus agreed.

Adrien looked over his shoulder and then back at them. “I need to go. We are changing bases again. I will contact you again when I am able. And I miss you both as well.”

“Adrien,” Shepard said, stepping forward until she was pressed against the rail. “Thank you. Truly. I…love you, too.”

His smile was dazzling and she felt her heavy heart lift slightly. She wished that she could stay here like this for longer but someone was calling his name. He reached out as if stroking her face and then turned to Garrus and repeated the gesture with him before flickering out. Shepard hugged Garrus tightly and then straightened. It was time to strike back at Cerberus.


	18. Chapter 18

“Adrien?” Shepard said as she entered the room where some of the turians had gathered. He broke off of his conversation with another soldier and drew both her and Garrus off to the side. His hands framed her soft face and his forehead bent to meet hers. She responded immediately, rubbing slightly against his, accepting his scent and spreading her own to him in a silent declaration of love. When he turned to look at Garrus, the other turian echoed the gesture and his breath caught. 

He was glad to see Garrus again but his concern at the moment was Shepard. This was her homeworld, after all, and it was devastating to witness. The burned out shell of the broken building that housed the command center gave a clear view of the destruction throughout the city. He had never been to Earth before but could see even through the rubble that this had once been a lovely place. He doubted she could even recognize it. It was a feeling with which he was all too familiar. Cipitrine was much the same.

He searched her eyes and saw the grief he’d expected but also the resolve he’d hoped for. “I am so sorry, Shepard,” he said.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. “I thought you’d be on Palaven.”

“You do not think I would allow the two of you to do this without me, did you?” he asked. “I told you that we would be here when the time came to retake Earth. Garrus mentioned the last time we spoke that today is your birthday. I understand human tradition is to give gifts, so I brought you an army, love.”

She smiled and it even managed to reach her eyes. “I think that’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten,” she said. 

“I would fight beside you if I could,” he told her, “but my men need me to lead them.”

“I understand,” she said. “And as much as I want you there, I don’t think it would be wise to change up the squad makeup at this point. I’m just so glad I got to see you one more time.”

He heard Garrus’ note of pain at her words and looked deeper. His gullet tightened as he saw what lay behind the grief and the resolution. She did not expect to survive this day. She was certain, in fact, that she would die here on her homeworld. He rested his forehead against hers and said, “No, Shepard. No. We are going to get through this. You will see our victory over the Reapers.”

“You really think we have a chance?” she asked and he hated the despair he heard in her voice. She would fight but she no longer believed they would win.

“Yes,” he answered with forced confidence.

Garrus’ voice shared the same tone as he said, “I think we’re going to kick the Reapers back into whatever dark hole they crawled out of and then the three of us are going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the proceeds of the vids.”

Adrien looked up at him, startled, and was taken aback by the look in Garrus’ eyes as he put his arms around them. “That sounds like a plan, Vakarian,” he said.

“I thought we might even find out what a turian-human baby looks like,” Garrus said. “Are you game for that, Primarch?”

“Yes,” he said. 

Shepard forced a chuckle and said warmly, “Me, too. Though, I think adoption’s a better idea. I don’t think biology will cooperate.”

“We can have fun trying, though,” Adrien pointed out. “I wouldn’t be opposed to a human daughter. Does this mean you agree to trias?”

“If we beat the Reapers, yes,” Shepard said. 

Garrus nodded. “James told me there’s an old saying here on Earth. ‘May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.’ Shepard, I don’t know if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we all end up there, meet us at the bar. I’ll buy the first round.” Adrien noticed that he was having difficulty looking at them and his subvocals were full of grief. Garrus didn’t have any more hope about their odds than she did. 

She turned to Garrus and cupped his scarred mandible. “We’re a team, Garrus. There’s no Shepard without Vakarian. Or Victus,” she added, drawing Adrien closer as well. “I don’t know that it’s acceptable to give orders to the Primarch, but you’d both better remember to duck.”

“Sorry,” Garrus said cockily. “Turians don’t know how. But we’ll improvise. And I have an order for you as well. Come back alive. It’d be an awfully empty galaxy without you.”

Adrien saw moisture gather in her eyes as she rose on tiptoe to kiss Garrus. When she drew back, she leaned her forehead against his and said in a choked voice, “If I’m up there in that bar and you’re not, I’ll be looking down. You’ll never be alone.”

“Never,” Garrus whispered.

“I’ll take care of him, Shepard,” Adrien said, his own voice tight with emotion. 

She turned to him and ran her fingers over his colony markings. “I’ll be watching you, too. I love you, Adrien. Goodbye.” 

He stood beside Garrus and watched her walk away. Garrus put his arm around Adrien’s waist and turned to face him. Their foreheads met and Adrien said, “Look out for her, Vakarian. And that order you gave her applies to you as well. I do not give you permission to die on us.”

“I’ll do my best, sir,” Garrus said. “If I don’t and she does, though, make sure she’s taken care of.” His subvocals told Adrien that he knew that would not happen. As Shepard had said, they were a team. He would either get both of them back or neither of them. They wouldn’t let one go without the other. 

“I will,” he promised anyway. 

“I love you, Adrien Victus,” Garrus said hesitantly. “I should have told you sooner. I didn’t realize until you were gone just how much you completed us.”

“I love you, too, Garrus,” he said. “Now, go kick some Reaper ass.”

“Now that’s an order I can definitely follow,” Garrus said with a grin. “Take care of yourself, Primarch. We’ll see you on the other side.” 

Garrus turned to follow Shepard, leaving Adrien alone. He looked up at the stars through the gaping holes in the roof and found himself doing the very thing he’d all but mocked Garrus for back on Menae. He prayed. “Spirits, if it is within your power, bring them back to me.” 

He squared his shoulders and motioned for his people to follow him. They gathered in a courtyard and he said, “My fellow turians! I know that many of you are wondering why we are here on the alien planet of a species that was once our enemy rather than fighting the threat at home and I say to you: We are fighting the threat to our home! The front line may not be on our homeworld, but what happens here today will determine the fate of all of the worlds. Today, neither planets nor species nor organic or synthetic separate us. Today, old grudges fade away. Today, we are one galaxy, one army, one cycle, and one voice with one enemy and we will fight among our krogan, salarian, asari, quarian, geth, and human brothers and sisters to defeat that enemy! Today, we will show the Reapers that they chose the wrong cycle and the wrong people and the wrong foe! Today, we will show the galaxy what the Turian Hierarchy is made of and that they will only see our backs once we are dead! As long as one person is left standing against the Reapers, today, we will have _victory_!”


	19. Chapter 19

Adrien raced through the streets of London. He heard neither the shouts of victory nor the cries of pain from the wounded. He leapt over fallen Reaper forces and allies alike as one thought consumed his mind. His mates had survived but Garrus was badly injured and Shepard was hanging on by a thread. He skidded to a stop in front of the battered hospital and began to push his way through the crowd gathered at the doors. He knew that he should be doing something for his troops but he had given everything he had to give to this war and now his only concern was for the two people left to him in the world. They had their victory. He needed his. He needed to see his mates.

Adrien still wasn’t clear on the details of everything that had happened. He had been told only that Garrus had been wounded in the final push to the beam and Shepard had called in the _Normandy_ to exfil Garrus and Liara before continuing on her own. Someone said that they had seen her get hit by Harbinger but later reports indicated that she had made it onto the Citadel. 

He had patched in to the Alliance’s comms and heard her gasping for Admiral Anderson. He had recognized the rattle in her breath and the tone in her voice. Anderson was dead and she was dying. The comms had gone out before the Crucible had fired, so he didn’t know how she had made it work. He had changed over to the _Normandy_ ’s comms in time to hear Joker refusing the order to retreat back through the relay and insisting that he would not leave her. Garrus had contacted him an hour later telling him that they had found her, that she was badly injured, and that he needed to find the hospital immediately.

He made his way inside to find a madhouse. It took several tries but he finally found someone who pointed him in the general direction he could go to find her. The hospital was overrun and his feet slipped in blood that had pooled on the floors from too many patients and too few staff. He heard his name and rushed down a corridor to the place where Shepard’s crew had gathered. Garrus rose shakily and Adrien moved quickly to hold the other man up. 

“Why are you not in surgery?” he asked. “Is Shepard…?”

“Alive,” Garrus said. “She’s in surgery now. I’m not going in until she’s out.”

“Yes, you are,” Adrien said firmly. “It will do no one any good for you to bleed out and die on us while she is being treated. I am here now. I will watch over her and you.” When Garrus opened his mouth to protest, Adrien said, “That is an order, Vakarian.”

Garrus conceded and Adrien rubbed their foreheads together carefully before allowing him to go with the doctor who was hovering beside them. When Garrus had been taken back, Adrien sank down into a chair beside Liara, who looked slightly wounded but not seriously harmed. “What happened?” he asked.

“We got hit by a truck,” she said shakily. “Garrus took the brunt of it. He was on fire but he wouldn’t stop. It was…hell. It was a living, waking nightmare out there. Shepard called in the _Normandy_. He didn’t want to leave her but he couldn’t even hold himself upright. When she turned away, he tried to go after her. I had to put him in stasis to keep him from trying to go after her. Then we heard that she’d been hit. We had to restrain him in the med bay. He was going insane. He calmed down a bit when we got word she’d made it onto the Citadel, but hearing her…she was dying, Primarch, and we all knew it. He lost it, undid everything Dr. Chakwas had done to patch him up. It wasn’t until we went back for her that he finally calmed down. 

“I don’t know what happened to her beyond what everyone heard on the radio. We found her in the midst of a pile of rubble. She’s been badly burned. We could barely differentiate her from the debris around her. It was all just…charred. There was a piece of rebar through her thigh. Dr. Chakwas said that she…she’s probably going to lose it. She has massive internal injuries and may have some neurological damage. They’re going to do everything they can, but—” Liara was interrupted by a scream that ripped down the hall. Adrien jumped to his feet as Liara whispered, “They’re out of pain meds and sedatives don’t work on her. The doctor said the pain alone might kill her.”

“Where is she?” he asked. When Liara looked up at him blankly, he took her by the arm and dragged her in the direction of the screams. 

“What are you doing, Primarch?” she finally asked as he pushed her into the decon chamber ahead of him. “We cannot go in there. They are operating.”

“She is _awake_ , Liara,” he said, ignoring the desperation in his voice. “We are not going to leave her alone. You have to help her. Take her away from it.”

Liara’s face lit. “Primarch, you are a genius!” 

The doctor began to protest at the sight of them but then fixed on the asari. “Oh, good. Liara. I was just about to send for you. Can you do this? I understand it will be painful.”

“I can handle it,” Liara said. She moved to the head of the bed and placed her hands on Shepard’s temples. “Look at me, Shepard,” she said in a commanding voice Adrien wouldn’t have expected from the diminutive asari. Shepard obeyed and the anguish in her eyes made his knees buckle. “Garrus and the Primarch are alive and I am here. You did it. Now, relax and embrace eternity.” Liara’s eyes went black and her face twisted in pain. She nodded and the doctor took a deep breath before resuming.

Adrien moved to the foot of the bed, taking care to stay out of the way of the doctor and the single nurse beside her. “What can I do?” he asked.

“Stay out of the way,” Dr. Chakwas answered. “Keep Liara fed and hydrated so that she can hold the link. This will take some time.”

The blood coating the floor and the glimpse of her burned hair should have been sufficient to warn him but nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him when he finally turned his attention to Shepard. Several of her bones were broken and had been set. The piece of rebar Liara had mentioned was still lodged in her thigh. The worst part, however, were the burns. They covered all but her face. Her arms appeared to have gotten the worst of it but her entire body was charred. Several IVs carrying fluids had been inserted under her skin and into the bones themselves along with another holding a crimson fluid he identified as human blood. 

It was still strange to him to see human blood. Red didn’t have the same visceral response in his mind as the cobalt to which he was accustomed and it seemed almost comical rather than horrifying. What was, however, horrifying, was what the doctor was in the process of doing. “What the hell do you think you are doing to her?” he demanded.

“Debriding the wounds,” the doctor answered. “The burned tissue must be removed. We cannot do anything more with her until this is dealt with. Her implants have stopped the internal hemorrhaging but we must take care of these burns. They are life-threatening. I must hurt her in order to save her.”

“Let me help,” he said, baring his talons. 

___

Adrien and Liara sat in the waiting room. Both of them shook, Liara from residual pain and Adrien from the horror of what he’d had to do. He stared down at his hands, sheathing and unsheathing his talons as he imagined that he could still see her blood on them. He had essentially tortured her. It didn’t matter that he was doing it to help her. Liara hadn’t been able to take all of the pain and every sound that Shepard couldn’t suppress had gone directly into his heart. 

“She didn’t blame you for it,” Liara said. “She knew you were trying to help.”

“That…does not make the memory easier to bear,” he said. 

Liara turned to him and said, “May I show you something? I do not think she would mind.” He cocked his head curiously and allowed her to place her hands on him. Her eyes went black and he found himself standing on a dark stage with the galaxy behind him and Liara before him. She gestured to the blanket of stars and he turned to look at them. 

“Where are we?” he asked.

“You will see,” she told him. 

The stars began to move around them until one came into clear focus and grew larger and brighter. When it seemed that they would be consumed by it, images began to form from light and shadow. He saw himself standing on Menae in his armor with Palaven looming before him and thought he looked far more powerful than he had felt in that moment. He saw himself in the _Normandy’s_ war room looking down at someone with a lost look in his eyes that changed to warmth when a human hand came to rest on his arm and recognized it as the moment he had realized that he had found a kindred spirit in Commander Shepard. He saw himself standing at the briefing room table with Wrex to one side and Dalatrass Linron on the other as he threatened to remove turian support from the salarians if she withheld her cooperation. That was the moment that he realized that the emotions he was experiencing were not his own. He had been irritated with the salarian and that irritation was there at first but then shifted to gratitude, admiration, and an inkling of affection. 

The image shifted again and now he was on his knees in the cargo bay with the shuttle reeking of his dead son behind him. A human hand stroked his fringe and he could feel the weight of his head against his belly and the tremors that ran through his shoulders shaking a much smaller frame as an impossible tenderness and a deep sadness tinged with guilt filled him. “These are Shepard’s memories,” he said.

“Yes,” Liara agreed. 

“She truly does not hide anything from you,” he said, feeling somewhat uncomfortable at the idea of the Shadow Broker being privy to such a vulnerable moment.

“The kind of trust that Shepard and I have has been built upon years of friendship,” she acknowledged, “but she would not have entrusted me with your secrets had she control of them at the time. These are some of the ones that she was focusing on to keep the pain at bay. I apologize for intruding. I was not able to filter them.”

“She was thinking about me?” he asked. “I would have thought she would have thought of Garrus.”

“She did,” Liara said. “But his was not the only face she called upon for strength.”

The images shifted again, moving more quickly now. He saw himself sitting on the couch in her cabin with her odd human feet in his lap and felt a solid presence behind that could only be Garrus. He saw himself above her with fear and anguish in his eyes before the mission on Tuchanka and felt the rush of emotion that had overcome her in that moment. He saw himself lying with his arm around her as she agonized over the decision she had to make there and felt the comfort he had given her. That memory, it seemed, was one she had spent considerable time on because it lasted longer and had a more vivid clarity. He could feel the sensation of his own plates against her skin and the way her hair felt behind her ear. It was disorienting to see himself in another’s eyes and to feel himself in an alien body but it was Shepard and he absorbed every detail. 

More images flashed by, showing him little things like the way she always looked for him when coming out of the comm room into the war room even when he hadn’t noticed her yet and the moment of silent gratitude she had given him when Artimec Wing flew over the ground crew on Tuchanka to engage the Reaper and give them a chance and the nights when she had woken from a nightmare and tucked herself into his chest as the comfort of another body in the night eased her back into sleep without waking him. 

He saw himself on Earth. She had leaned against an empty doorway behind him and watched as he’d given his speech to his men. He was humbled by the mixture of pride, admiration, love, and fear of loss she’d felt as she’d quietly observed him. He had not realized she was there and the moment had the feeling of a stolen one, like she’d been unable to go out and face what she was about to face without seeing him a final time. 

It changed again and he felt Liara shift uncomfortably beside him. A glance down showed that she was clenching her hands into fists. This memory would be unpleasant and he expected it to be of the surgery but instead he found himself in a place he did not recognize. Three walkways extended from a central point with stations on the outer ones and a beam of light in the center. A device he recognized as the Crucible hung heavily above them. He recognized the pain that chewed at his abdomen as a bullet wound and looked down to see a bare, dirty arm clutching a human waist and dark red blood flowing over the five-fingered hand. Her armor was all but gone and one of her feet dragged behind as he dragged himself forward in her body. 

A glance at Liara told him that she was holding back the worst of the memory of the pain but had allowed enough through that he could feel just how close to death Shepard had been in that moment. He could feel his life force draining from his body and every step was a monumental effort. He felt the certainty that he was looking upon his final resting place and the determination to do this last thing, to save them all, to give her loved ones a chance at a life even if it did not include her. 

His knees would have buckled if he’d been in his own body and he wanted to cry out to her to stop, to wait for backup, to get help. She didn’t listen, though, and he heard her voice inside his head. _I’m sorry, Garrus, Adrien. I won’t be able to follow this order. If you’re still out there, be happy together. And, if not, I’ll see you at the bar._

Her steps became more confident then as she raised her pistol and fired at the red tube before her. A sense of calm descended along with a fierce resolve to finally end this, to destroy the Reapers, to avenge not just the losses in this cycle but of all of those that came before. Images within the image flashed through his mind as she called up the faces of her loved ones to give her courage. He did not recognize them all but some were familiar. Liara smiling hopefully against the backdrop of her monitors. Joker turning in his chair to tip his hat at her. Admiral Anderson. Tali’Zorah. Thane Krios, the drell who’d sacrificed himself for Councilor Valern. Garrus in a dozen iterations from the moment she’d met him until the last goodbye. Himself in all of the iterations he’d seen so far. Her final mental picture was of him standing beside Garrus with smiles on their faces and it was the one she held on to as the flames rolled out and engulfed her.

The Crucible faded away and Liara stood still while Adrien struggled to maintain his composure. “Can you tolerate one more?” she asked when he was able to remove his hands from his knees and stand straight again. “It will be painful, but I believe you need to see it.”

“Yes,” he said. However painful it was, it was Shepard’s and that meant that she had lived through it. He could not turn away.

He found himself on his back in the operating room with Liara’s face above him and pain wracking his body. Her head turned and he saw himself walk into her view. Joy, real joy in spite of the pain, leapt into his heart as she drank in the sight of him in his battle-scarred armor. He could feel Liara inside of both his and her head and as he bared his talons, heard Shepard think, _He loves me, Liara. How the hell did I get so lucky as to find two men such as mine? He loves me enough to help get this over with even though he knows he will never unsee this. How can I not love him as well? And you for taking this pain into yourself. We did it. We actually did it._

“She was grateful,” Liara said. “There is only so much pain a mind can register. You did not make it worse. You made it end faster and, for that, she was grateful.”

“Thank you, Liara,” he said. “That was not easy for you.”

“It was my pleasure. Mostly,” she said. “Your secrets are safe with me, Primarch.”

The darkened stage faded away and the hospital came back into view. Dr. Chakwas stood patiently beside them and, when he looked to her, she informed him that both Garrus and Shepard had survived their surgeries and Garrus was awake. Liara gave him a nod and he followed the doctor into the room where his mates were recovering. Someone had moved the beds together and Garrus lay on his side facing Shepard. His hand rested on her shortened hair and Adrien heard him soothing her still unconscious form. He looked up when they entered and extended the other hand to Adrien.

“The doc says she’s going to live,” he said in a choked voice. “Seems we’re all good at following orders today.”

Adrien bent down and rested his forehead against Garrus’. “You were supposed to improvise,” he said.

“I was a little busy trying to dodge the giant laser beam,” Garrus said. “Did it work? Everywhere? Palaven?”

“I believe so,” Adrien said. “Comms are down, so we can’t be certain. The relay was damaged. The Alliance is attempting to locate the ships that went through before the blast. QECs still work, so we just have to wait until someone on the other end gets online.”

Garrus looked up at him and concern flashed through his eyes. “We can’t get back?”

“We can,” Adrien said. “We will just have to go at FTL speeds. It will take time.”

“Months,” Garrus said. “I can’t leave her for that long. What will we do for food?”

Adrien pulled a chair up beside Garrus’ bed and said, “The quarians had converted their liveships into dreadnoughts but they still contained food and all of them are here. We may be able to salvage supplies from the Citadel once we can get people up there to look for survivors. The salarians may be able to find a way to convert levo food into dextro. It has not been tried because there was never a need but that does not necessarily mean it cannot be done. Our ships contain enough rations to hold their crews over for half a year or more if they are careful. We will get through until we can send ships home and, if nothing else, get them back with supplies. In the meantime, we will assist with the rebuilding of Earth and the Citadel. We will survive, Garrus.”

“Yeah,” Garrus said, relaxing and looking from him to Shepard. “We will. Together.”


	20. Chapter 20

Garrus’ certainty about that statement declined over the following months, first when Shepard did not wake up and then when she did. Adrien had told him about what Liara had done for him after Shepard’s surgery and they had expected her to be the same Shepard she’d always been when she woke. That did not happen. Oh, her eyes lit when she first saw him and she had drawn him down to rub their foreheads together. That happiness had lasted until she had taken stock of her body, both the parts that were still there and the one that was missing. Then, she’d fallen into a silence from which not even he could draw her. 

Dr. Chakwas told him that it was a combination of the effects of their years of fighting and her insistence on pushing ahead despite everything that had happened, the loss of her leg, the traumatic brain injury she had suffered, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Garrus had spent days researching both of the latter conditions while Adrien had used his status to pull in specialist after specialist to assist Dr. Chakwas. It didn’t help. Her body recovered faster than her psyche and she was released from the hospital before Garrus thought she was ready. His protests were met with the grim reality that there were still too many patients and every available bed was necessary. Dr. Chakwas took over her treatment at home. 

‘Home’ turned out to be a small cottage in the English countryside. Portions of the Citadel were still functional and her apartment had survived but when he had mentioned returning to the station, Shepard’s remaining leg had begun to shake as she tapped her heel rapidly against the floor in agitation and she had withdrawn even further. Liara had given a quick shake of her head and that had been the last mention of returning to the Citadel. Later, Liara had shown him Shepard’s memory of the passageway leading from the beam to the Crucible and he had understood. He didn’t know if she would ever be able to return without seeing visions of dead bodies piled up in the passageways.

She was fitted with a prosthetic but passively refused to learn to use it at first. Jack was the one who had finally broken through that with a dose of what she called ‘tough love’ that had pissed Garrus off at first but had proven effective. Shepard learned to walk again, though she still did not speak. She did scream in the dark when nightmares consumed her and could only sleep sheltered between both Garrus and Adrien. She spent large amounts of time outside the cottage on a bench overlooking a dead garden backed by a rolling meadow. Adrien discovered a love for gardening once Miranda’s sister, Oriana, had shown him what to do to make the plants grow and the garden began to bloom. 

Her crew visited often and were unfazed by her reticence. All but Jacob had survived. Joker quipped that it was nice to have her finally quiet for a while. Tali recited quarian poetry, most of it having to do with Rannoch, and worked on plans for her house. She asked Shepard for input and filled in the answers herself. Zaeed sat with her and told stories. Kasumi kept her apprised on her crew and brought her gifts whose provenance Garrus didn’t question. Jack brought Eezo around and Shepard could occasionally be seen reaching down to pet the varren that had taken to lying on her prosthetic foot. Vega cooked for her. EDI kept a log of her moods and reactions and began working to find patterns that could help them help her. Grunt stationed himself as a guard. He didn’t seem to care that she was having difficulty coming back from the war and when he named great warlords, hers was the first. Cortez was content to simply sit beside her with his arm around her shoulders. She seemed to listen to him more than the rest and so he spoke quietly of anything he thought might hold her interest. Garrus thought it wasn’t as much the topic as it was the man’s kind and steady nature that soothed her. Samara came occasionally and meditated with her. Miranda and Oriana helped Adrien in the garden. 

Sam could occasionally get her to play chess and that, too, became an indicator of her moods. On a good day, Shepard would wipe the floor with Traynor and Garrus thought he occasionally saw a spark of victory light her eyes. On a bad day, she couldn’t seem to remember which pieces did what and would eventually stop playing altogether and stare out at the countryside. On truly difficult days, she would snarl and the board and throw it off of the table.

She finally allowed Liara to mind meld with her again. Garrus and Adrien stood back, anxiously waiting on word from the asari. After what seemed like an eternity, Liara sat back and looked at them. “Shepard is processing,” she said. “She had buried the traumas she was forced to endure in order to keep going. Now that there is no threat, she is attempting to deal with them. I believe I can help with that and with the confusion caused by the brain injury. Her mind in some places is like a shattered mirror. She attempts to put it back together only to be cut by the pieces. I began to assist her with that as well and we made some progress but it will take time. The thing I give you to hold onto is that Shepard is still there and she still loves you both. There is simply too much in her mind at the moment and she cannot separate it enough. She opens her mouth to speak and too much threatens to spill over so she lets nothing out. Be patient.”

“We’re not going anywhere,” Garrus assured both her and Shepard. “One of the fortunate things about a turian mate in this case is that she has us for as long as she still wants us.” 

Shepard’s withdrawal served an additional purpose. Garrus and Adrien were forced to lean on each other even more than they had before and they grew closer because of it until Garrus began to wonder why he had hesitated to acknowledge his feelings in the first place. He knew that, in the beginning, it had been due to guilt and uncertainty about Shepard’s reaction. After that, though, it had been his own uncertainty. Adrien had never been confused about his own feelings. He had simply been afraid that they would lead to heartache. 

They both felt uncomfortable with physical intimacy around Shepard. It was one thing when she was an active participant. It was different when she was a mute observer. Thus, they used the time when she was watched by her crew to come together. Garrus didn’t like keeping her out but she was in no place to consent to inclusion. Garrus gradually grew more comfortable in his own relationship with Adrien.

The galaxy began to rebuild. Through QEC communications, they learned that the Reapers had, indeed, been destroyed on all fronts. Adrien’s duties as Primarch did not end with the war and he sent ships back to Palaven. Some held survivors eager to get home. Others went with the goal of returning with supplies for those who’d chosen to stay and see things through either on the Citadel or on Earth. Humans and turians lived side-by-side in both locations and Adrien often expressed his amazement that two species who had discovered each other only to immediately go to war within their lifetimes could coexist so seamlessly. Old grudges between their species were forgotten. 

Shepard was sitting in her usual spot in the garden with Eezo, whom Jack had left with them while she went out to find more of her students, when a geth unit walked up. Garrus went out to the garden to ensure that she didn’t forget that the geth were allies and strike out at it. She didn’t acknowledge the unit’s presence until it said, “Shepard-Commander, I am pleased to see that you are still functional.”

At its words, she looked up and Garrus saw the first real flicker of emotion cross her face that he’d witnessed in months. Confusion, surprise, and interest flared to life as she cocked her head almost imperceptibly. He likely wouldn’t have noticed the motion had she not become so still. She didn’t speak, but Garrus could see the question in her eyes, so he said, “Legion?”

“Yes,” the unit said. “The geth wished to provide Shepard-Commander with a gift to show our gratitude for your assistance to my people. They pieced together the code that I disseminated and recreated my runtimes. I am…confused by her lack of response. EDI had informed me that she had changed; however, I had anticipated more reaction.”

“She’s glad to see you, Legion,” Garrus told him. “This is more reaction than anyone else has gotten in a while. She’s actually looking at you. Why don’t you sit down and try to talk to her?”

The geth knelt in front of her rather than placing its platform on the seat. “Shepard-Commander, I would like to thank you for saving my people both from the creators and from the Old Machines. You were not only the first organic to cooperate with us since the end of the Morning War; you were also the first organic who truly believed in us enough to allow us true sentience.”

Shepard did not speak but she nodded and Garrus saw the ghost of a smile on her lips. “She really is glad to see you,” he said as she put her hand on the geth’s shoulder. Her eyes flickered from Garrus to Legion.

“I have brought you another gift,” it said. “I remembered your affinity for the rifle you called Eleanor. EDI informed me that you had lost it in the final battle. I located it for you.” He shifted and drew the sniper rifle he carried over his shoulder. 

Garrus himself couldn’t tell Shepard’s old Widow apart from the one Legion always carried except by its mods but Shepard recognized it instantly. Her face lit and she reached for the weapon. Legion passed it to her and she clutched it tightly in her hands. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

Legion’s head flaps moved in what Garrus recognized as what passed for curiosity in a geth and it said, “Shepard-Commander, your voice is altered.”

Shepard’s lips pinched together and Garrus cleared his throat and said, “Ah, Legion, let’s not point that out. Her vocal chords were damaged from the fire.”

“I apologize for making you uncomfortable,” it said to her.

Seeing that she was in good hands, Garrus returned to the cottage to get Adrien. “Come here,” he said. “You need to see this. The geth put Legion back together and it came to see her. She spoke.”

“She did?” Adrien asked, rising immediately from his seat. He followed Garrus out to the courtyard and said, “She’s smiling. Spirits, Garrus, she’s smiling.”

“It found Eleanor for her,” Garrus explained. “She told me once that she didn’t feel completely like herself without that rifle. It just may have given her back the piece she needed to come back to us.”

His theory proved correct. That night, lying between them in the bed, she whispered haltingly, “Thank you. Both of you. For staying. I know it hasn’t been easy.”

Garrus’ heart leapt and he said as casually as he could, “Easy would have been boring. I have something for you, too, if you still want it." She looked up at him and he rolled to his side to retrieve the box from the table beside the bed. Her eyes locked onto it as he turned to face her again and both he and Adrien held it as he opened it. She reached out and removed the ring he'd recovered from their cabin on the ship. Before she could slide it back onto her finger, she noticed the change. Garrus had found someone skilled at metal-working and had gotten the metal that represented him inlaid with another in the same color and pattern as Adrien's clan markings. Her fingers traced the delicate design and she looked first to Adrien and then back at him. He explained, "Adrien is a part of us now. I thought he deserved to be a part of this as well."

Adrien nuzzled her hair and said, "It can be undone if you want."

She shook her head quickly and slipped the ring onto her finger. "No," she said. "I want it. I want both of you. for however much forever we have left."

Garrus knew that it would not be an easy road back. She had not magically recovered from the trauma or her injuries. However, he was grateful that she was finally back with them and was certain that he and Adrien could help lead her through the dark times ahead just as she had led Garrus out of the darkness after Omega and Adrien from his own after Tarquin's death. It was their turn to do for her what she had done for all of them. He also knew that they would not do it alone. Shepard had her people, she had her ship, and she had them. The Reapers were gone. They had time to figure it out. Adrien smiled and kissed her before stroking Garrus' waist. Victus' inclusion in the ring was a surprise even to the Primarch. The three of them were entwined together and, if he had it his way, that was how it would stay forever.


End file.
